


Anomaly

by bananacabana



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M, kitty!kurt, mentions of past non-con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-11
Updated: 2014-02-16
Packaged: 2017-12-11 12:45:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 66,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/798885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bananacabana/pseuds/bananacabana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kitty-hybrid Kurt and human Blaine. When Blaine Anderson transfers to William McKinley, he can't help but be captivated by the reclusive Kurt Hummel. In a world where Hybrids are unheard of by most, Blaine discovers the price tag on Kurt's head as he vows to keep him from harm.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic started out as a one-shot so the first chapter may seem a little hurried.

Everyone knows who he is, the guy never seen without a hat flattening his hair. He's the boy who rarely talks to anyone, who keeps his eyes trained on the floor when he walks to class, who never makes eye contact with anyone whatsoever; the gay guy who sounds like a girl. The rumours and mockery are never ending.

"That's Kurt Hummel," Rachel Berry supplies when Blaine asks about him, still trying to get the hang of this new school. The glee club are welcoming enough and Rachel is more than happy to give Blaine a run-down of things, in fact, she insisted upon it after she heard him sing at his glee club audition.

"He used to be in glee too, one of the first members, actually," she continues as Blaine rests his head in his hand and looks to where Kurt sits alone on an otherwise empty table, "he has an amazing voice but…he just quit right before our sectionals competition after Mr Schue told him he couldn't perform while wearing his hat. He's weirdly attached to that thing."

Blaine is certain he has never seen Kurt without it since he started attending McKinley. It's almost like it's glued to his head yet somehow he can't help but find it endearing.

All he wants is to talk to the other boy. Blaine is anything but shy, he has the confidence and charisma of roughly five men yet every time he even comes close to starting up a conversation with Kurt, the other boy somehow manages to avoid him.

Of all the people in school, Blaine had to choose possibly the most awkward one to be determined to befriend.

Perhaps it's because he's simultaneously the most beautiful. Maybe not in a conventional way but there's something about his solidarity that Blaine, always the extrovert, can't help but be drawn to. All he wants is to know him.

And maybe kiss him a little but that's another matter entirely.

Another peculiar thing about Kurt Hummel is that he has somehow managed to get a permanent pass from gym class so Blaine is somewhat taken by surprise when he hears his voice, rare as it is to hear him speak, in the locker room of all places several weeks later.

"But Coach -" Blaine can hear him arguing.

"I don't care what your Dad says, Hummel, you can't be excused from gym forever unless you have a clear medical condition or a note from your doctor. I expect to see you in the gymnasium next week and that's final," Coach Beiste bellows before leaving the locker room to prevent any room for argument.

So maybe not quite a permanent pass, Blaine thinks.

Blaine can hear Kurt sigh heavily as he moves to leave too. He appears from around the corner only to be faced by a wall of boys.

"Hey, girl's locker room is next door, you fag," a huge, terrifying looking jock says. Blaine has yet to learn their names, only knows that he should stay away from them if he wants to stay alive at this school.

Kurt ignores them as he moves towards the door.

"Hey," the jock says more firmly, moving to stand in front of Kurt again, blocking his path with his huge frame, "don't ignore me. I don't want no queers in here staring at my junk, okay?" Kurt makes a face of disgust as he tries to push passed.

"I'd rather puke," Kurt scowls but as the sentence leaves his mouth, the jock shoves him forcefully up against the lockers, causing Blaine to jump in surprise just as he's shrugging his coat on. He watches the scene in panic.

"What did you say to me?" the guy says as some of his friends begin to crowd Kurt, "You think you're better than us, huh?"

"Hey, back off!" Blaine warns, deciding now is the best time to intervene. Kurt's head snaps to the side to see Blaine, eyes wide and alert but the jocks take no notice as one punches him in the stomach, sending Kurt forward as the air rushes out of him with an oof. "Leave him alone!" Blaine cries, attempting to put himself in between Kurt and the attackers but his efforts are for nothing as they take no notice of him, pushing him aside as they would swat a fly.

One manages to snatch Kurt's hat from his head and Kurt's hands immediately fly up to grasp at his hair as he sinks to the ground in a rapid blur.

He's curled up into himself and looks so pitiful that the jocks finally leave after one last kick to the side. Blaine's chest heaves as he watches them go. He clutches at the bruise sure to be forming on his arm, realising that they're alone. He turns to Kurt who's head is nestled between his knees while both hands remain firmly planted against his head.

"Hey," Blaine says softly, crouching down to his knees so he's level with Kurt. "Are you okay?" he asks worriedly. Kurt nods gently but he doesn't raise his head. "It's…it's Kurt, right?"

Kurt does raise his head this time, just barely enough so he can see Blaine's concerned face. Blaine offers a friendly smile as Kurt begins to nod again, hands moving with his head.

"My name's Blaine!" he introduces, offering a hand for Kurt to shake and intending on helping him to his feet again. Kurt stares at the proffered hand, eyes wide, clearly panicking but he does not take it.

Blaine frowns at the way Kurt clutches at his head, wondering if maybe they hurt him worse than he thought.

"Have you seen my hat?" Kurt asks instead, frantically looking about the now empty locker room.

"Uh," Blaine stutters, taken off guard by Kurt's strange reply, "No, I-I think they took it. I'm sorry." Kurt's face falls into sheer horror.

"No," he whispers, rising to his feet a little awkwardly while his hands are still plastered to his head. "No, they can't do this," he sobs.

"I-do you need any help…?" Blaine offers, taking a hold of Kurt's arm and steadying him. If he's honest, he's beginning to feel a little worried. It's apparent to Blaine now that Kurt's not simply overly attached to his headwear, he must be concealing something with it.

"No. I just-I need to be alone, can you go?" Kurt begs.

"Hey, come on. It's okay. I've had some pretty severe haircuts in the past, I won't judge!" Blaine tries to assure with a friendly smile as he takes a guess at what Kurt could be hiding. Kurt just pulls his arm out of Blaine's grip.

"It's not a bad haircut," Kurt sneers though his voice is quiet. He begins pacing back and forth in the locker room, hands never leaving his head. "Look, _please_ can you just go?!"

"Kurt, you can't just stay in here all day by yourself," Blaine insists and Kurt actually seems to listen. He stops at Blaine's words and seems to realise that he's stuck.

"I…I have no idea what to do," he whimpers as he falls back against the lockers and begins sliding dejectedly back down to the floor.

"Let me help, just tell me what you need," Blaine suggests, eager to help.

Kurt looks up at him, clearly debating his options before he finally sighs, eyes softening.

"Do you, maybe have a hat I can borrow or something?" he whispers, hands tightening around his head.

"I'm really sorry. No, I don't," Blaine says with a grimace as he shakes his head. Kurt's head falls back, hitting the lockers as he groans in defeat.

"Do you have _anything?_ A spare shirt or a towel or…?" Kurt begs desperately.

"Yeah, in my locker but…Kurt you're not seriously going to spend the rest of the day with a towel wrapped around your head are you?" Blaine asks as he sits beside Kurt on the locker room floor. "You'll just draw attention to…whatever it is you don't want people to see if you do."

"I just need to get to my car," Kurt whimpers, eyes looking longingly to the door. "I need to go home. I just wanna go home."

"Hey, I don't know what you could possibly be so insecure about. Please don't - God I hope you don't think I'm a creep but, Kurt, you're gorgeous. Whateverthis is, well I'm sure it's nowhere near as huge as you think it is. I bet no one would even notice!" Blaine is still running through a list of possible things Kurt could be hiding, unable to think of anything.

"You know, the rumours hurt," Kurt says, seemingly changing the subject. His eyes stay focused on his shoes but he keeps talking. "I've heard people talking a lot over the years. Some say I'm bald or prematurely grey, some think I have lice, I even heard some people saying that I can't wash my hair because I'm actually homeless. It…It's really hard to hear people say these things about me every single day but it's still better than them knowing the truth, trust me. I just… no one can find out about this, it's as simple as that, okay?"

Blaine frowns, wondering what on earth could be under Kurt's hands.

"So you're just…never going to talk to anyone? Ever?" Blaine can't imagine living such a life. Kurt sucks in a breath.

"I don't need friends," he says.

"But I want to _be_ your friend," Blaine admits. Kurt stares at him incredulously for what seems like forever, looking as if Blaine had just spoken in an alien language. His lips quiver as they begin to form the beginning of a question but the words die before they reach his lips. Blaine smiles tentatively before ducking his head.

"Sorry, I tend to be kind of…forward. Honestly, I've been trying to talk to you for weeks." Kurt's lips twitch in a nervous smile before it falls into a calculating frown.

"You just want to know what I'm hiding," Kurt states.

"What? No!" Blaine rushes, "Honestly! I don't care about that, that's not why… I think I've made it quite clear that I like you," Blaine says, feeling his cheeks heat up.

"You're gay," Kurt says as more of a statement than a question to which Blaine replies with a nod.

"I'd uh, I'd hold your hand but I'm not so sure of that's a good idea right now," Blaine says, nodding towards Kurt's hands, still cupping whatever it is on his head that he's so determined to hide. Kurt actually laughs at this and Blaine swears he sees Kurt's hands slacken a little, relaxing just a fraction but it's enough to let Blaine know that he's earned at least a little of Kurt's trust.

"Here," Blaine says, taking his coat off, "you can wear this. It has a hood so you can cover your head."

"I…are you sure? It's freezing outside!" Kurt objects but Blaine insists, rising to his feet. Kurt follows though he still looks unsure.

"I'll be fine," Blaine assures, moving behind Kurt and holding the coat up for him to slip his arms through, momentarily forgetting that his hands are occupied. "Oh, uhh," he fumbles as there is no way for Kurt to put the coat on without taking his hands away from his head. "Do you want me to turn around while you…?" he offers while he still holds the coat behind Kurt.

"No one has ever helped me like this before," Kurt murmurs quietly, almost questioningly. Blaine raises an eyebrow, curious as to what he's thinking. "Y-you have to _promise_ me Blaine, no one can know…"

"I-I…" Blaine stutters but before he can make a coherent response, Kurt's hands slowly part from his head and he slips them gracefully into Blaine's coat. Blaine gapes at the back of Kurt's head only to find…

Nothing much out of the ordinary. Where his hands were moments ago are two thick tufts of hair and Blaine honestly can't see what the big deal is.

Until Kurt turns around.

_Oh._

Blaine can't help it. His mouth hangs open slightly and he stares for probably a good ten seconds or so because protruding from Kurt's head are a pair of what looks like cat ears.

One twitches slightly as Kurt looks down, teeth clenched and cheeks stained pink as he tries to stop himself shaking in embarrassment and self-consciousness.

"Are those real?" Blaine asks, kicking himself the moment the words have left his mouth. Kurt looks up, scowling.

"No, I just stick cat ears on my head every morning for the sole purpose of hiding them all day," Kurt spits back.

"No, wait," Blaine says just as Kurt is about to turn on his heel and walk out. His hands are clutching at the hood defensively but he hasn't put it up yet, he's still leaving himself in a vulnerable position and Blaine likes to think it's because he still holds a smidgen of his trust. "I'm sorry I just… Kurt you - "

"I'm a freak," Kurt cuts in miserably. Despite that fact that Kurt is sprouting cat ears Blaine still can't draw his gaze away from his eyes. They're shiny with unshed tears and in a terrible way this makes them all the more beautiful, makes Blaine all the more drawn to him. Kurt looks so broken, like he's certain no one could possibly see him as anything other than a freak, an anomaly, and Blaine wants nothing more than to prove to him he's wrong.

"You're not, okay?" Blaine tries but his words don't seem to make a difference. His eyes keep flickering up to his ears, cursing himself for being so insatiably curious but he knows not to ask, it's clearly a sensitive subject for Kurt and the fact that he has shown him them is enough. "You're one of a kind! You're special!"

Kurt smiles briefly before hastily pulling the hood over his head, covering his ears. He holds the sides tightly, as he exits the locker room.

Blaine follows, walking beside Kurt as he speedily makes his way through the hallways. There are still plenty of students about and Blaine can almost feel Kurt's anxiety radiating from him.

"It's okay," Blaine tells him as they round a corner, "I won't tell anyone about this, you have my word."

Kurt's eyes flicker back and forth to Blaine.

"I know," he responds, voice pitchy and uneasy before he stops abruptly in the middle of the hallway, "I just…this isn't me, I'm not this reckless, telling complete strangers about…this just because they were nice to me. I-I'm sorry and now you have this huge secret to hide and, oh my god I'm so sorry - "

"Hey, hey," Blaine says, he takes hold of Kurt's arm and begins to pull him along gently, they're close to the front doors now. "You've clearly worked hard to keep this a secret, I don't blame you for just wanting to tell _someone_ and I'm flattered that it's me, really. I'm not going to tell anyone."

"No," Kurt mumbles mostly to himself, "No, I know. You won't tell anyone,"

"It's our little secret?" Blaine asks, hand sliding down Kurt's arm to slide their fingers together. Kurt smiles, the first real, unrestrained smile Blaine has seen from him as he squeezes Blaine's hand back in return.

"Our little secret," he confirms as they walk outside into the freezing air.


	2. Chapter 2

"Can I sit here?" Blaine asks, gesturing to the empty seat besides Kurt while awkwardly fumbling with his tray of food.

It takes a moment for Kurt to look up and realise that he is in fact whom Blaine is speaking to. When he does, Blaine grins with hopeful eyes, nodding again towards the seat and Kurt's brow furrows as he realises what Blaine is asking.

"I…I guess," he mumbles quietly as Blaine happily pulls out the chair and places his lunch on the table. Kurt returns to his reading, all but ignoring Blaine's presence.

Despite the nagging – and probably correct – feeling that Kurt doesn't want him there, Blaine persistently stays, taking a bite out of his lunch and trying not to feel quite so awkward as the silence hangs over the table like bad smells often do from the kitchen. He wonders why things feel so awkward now. Yesterday Kurt seemed like he was beginning to trust him, it was as though yesterday never happened at all.

Blaine sneaks a few glances at Kurt as he nibbles on his salad. He's wearing a different hat today and Blaine can't help but remember what is in fact hidden beneath it. He only caught a brief glimpse the day before but the memory is so pellucid in his mind. He can almost imagine them twitching delicately as Kurt chews his lunch methodically, eyes never straying from his book.

"What are you reading?" Blaine inquires, desperate for conversation. Kurt still refuses to take his eyes off his book and instead lifts it so Blaine can see the cover before placing it back down on the table. It's a novel Blaine has never heard of by an author equally as unfamiliar. "Is it good?"

"Not really," Kurt answers bluntly and Blaine is surprised to hear him actually answer.

"Why are you reading it then?" Blaine asks in confusion, frowning slightly. Kurt shrugs in response as he goes back to his page.

"I have to do something to pass the time," he justifies. Since arriving at McKinley, Blaine has noticed that Kurt is usually solitary at lunch…and all other times of the day too.

"You don't have to…" Blaine says while Kurt turns the page. "I mean, you can talk to me if you like," he offers.

"What are you doing?" Kurt asks suddenly, seeming genuinely confused.

"I just…I thought we were friends?" Blaine doesn't mean for it to sound like a question but then again he wasn't expecting Kurt to be so dismissive of him either. Kurt stares at him blankly, well at least he's looking at him, that's an improvement, right? He sighs before lowering his gaze, he looks almost regretful.

"Blaine, you really helped me out yesterday. Honestly I'm so grateful but," he squeezes his eyes tight before continuing, "I really shouldn't have shown you…that. I was kind of hoping you'd think it was all just some crazy fever dream or something," Kurt says, staring hollowly at nothing in particular.

"You don't trust me?" Blaine asks, trying not to sound hurt. Kurt has no reason to trust him, not really.

"I…I don't know, Blaine. I hardly know you." Blaine wishes he could convince Kurt that he can trust him but there's nothing much he can actively do to prove it. Everyone is trustworthy until they break that trust, just like every lie is a truth until proven otherwise.

"Then we'll just have to get to know each other better then!" Blaine says with a satisfied smile. "Do you want to…maybe get coffee after school?" he suggests

"Why?" Kurt shoots back defensively. Blaine wasn't prepared for such a reply, he pauses for a moment trying to come up with the words.

"Well I just thought we could…you know, talk?"

"We can talk here." Kurt almost sounds worried in his reply.

"I meant, like, privately."

"There's no one around – "

"Kurt!" Blaine interrupts with an exasperated sigh, "I'm trying to ask you out here!" Kurt pauses, suddenly he's the one left speechless while Blaine can do nothing but smile nervously.

"You mean…like a date?" Kurt clarifies slowly. Blaine nods, a hopeful smile creasing his lips as Kurt seems to process the request.

"I don't know if that's a good idea," he argues softly, almost regretfully as his eyes fall to his sandwich and he picks at the crust absently. Blaine watches carefully, hoping he might expand on why exactly but Kurt remains quiet.

"I…Kurt, I know that you're different, and I understand that I put you in an awkward position by knowing what I do but I _promise_ I won't betray you. I won't utter a word of this to anyone." Kurt listens patiently as Blaine tries to place as much conviction in his words as humanly possible.

"Okay, so…why do you want to date me?" Kurt asks and Blaine swears he can see the ghost of a smile trying to push its way onto Kurt's lips.

"Kurt, you can't just ask me that!" Blaine exclaims with a laugh to which Kurt responds with a slight chuckle himself. "Can't you just pity the new kid?"

It seems as though Blaine's smile is infectious as Kurt's own seems to linger as he forces himself to stare bashfully at his lunch.

"I've never been out on a date with anyone before," he admits with a little shyness. Blaine has to supress the urge to whoop out loud as he takes Kurt's confession as a yes.

"We don't have to refer to it as a date if it makes you uncomfortable," Blaine suggests, "We can just get coffee and get to know each other." Looking up, Kurt raises one eyebrow as he rests his chin in one hand. Blaine can see him considering the proposal, he's sure if he looked close enough, he'd see the cogs turning behind Kurt's mesmerizing yet impossibly blue eyes.

"I have no idea how you do it but somehow I always let my guard down around you," Kurt stares fondly, the remnants of his smile still clear upon his mouth though Blaine curses himself for constantly looking at that particular area.

"So can I take that as a yes?" he asks hopefully. Kurt huffs out a brief laugh as he rolls his eyes slightly.

"I'll meet you after school," he promises before placing his book in his bag and rising to his feet. Blaine's gaze follows with confusion. "Now if you'll excuse me, I can feel your friends staring at us and it's making me itchy." With that, Kurt departs swiftly. Blaine takes a look over his shoulder and, of course, his usual table occupied by the glee club are all thoroughly invested Blaine's choice of company. He sighs, gives them a look that hopefully says _mind your own business_ before giving in and joining them at their table.

"Um, what was _that_?" Rachel demands as Blaine takes a seat.

"Just making friends," he replies, determined not to indulge them with the facts just yet.

* * *

Kurt's standing at his locker when Blaine finds him at the end of the day.

"Hey," he greets, pulling a grey newsboy cap from his bag, the same one Kurt had been wearing the day before, "This was in the lost and found, I thought you might like it back."

Kurt stares with a look of disbelief between the cap and Blaine before he takes it in both hands, thumbs rubbing gently across the material.  
"You found it for me!" he says, smiling again. It's then that Blaine realises he'd do anything just to see a smile like that on Kurt's face every day. "Thank you. Oh! That reminds me!" Turning swiftly, Kurt pulls a bulky coat from his locker. "I believe this is yours. Thank you very much for lending it to me."

"No problem," Blaine says, taking the coat back.

They walk in companionable silence to the parking lot and Blaine is surprised to find that he's actually not as nervous as he thought he would be. Not yet anyway. There's an easiness with Kurt that makes everything just feel right, like he's supposed to be doing this. They've agreed to meet at the Lima Bean and when they part to go to their own cars, Blaine finally lets the excitement settle in. After repressing it all day he finally allows his lips to split into a wide, open mouthed grin, realising that he'd just asked out another guy for the first time in his life. He isn't sure where this chivalrous side of him came from but he hopes it's here to stay.

The Lima Bean is crowded when they get there, students from surrounding schools line up to get their caffeine fix for the day. Nonetheless, they stand in line and wait to order their drinks though Blaine can't help but notice Kurt's growing unease. It's hard to blame him for being uncomfortable in crowded places like this but Kurt doesn't say a word on the matter, smiling shyly at Blaine as the line moves forward.

"We don't have to stay here, you know. We could go someplace else?" Blaine suggests, when Kurt flinches as someone brushes past him yet again.

"No, this is fine," Kurt assures, taking a deep breath to steady himself.

Blaine insists on paying despite Kurt's protests. Kurt thanks him after he finally gives in and it's not long before they receive their drinks and find an empty table in the corner. They sit in silence at first but the place is so noisy that it doesn't make a lot of difference. Countless teenagers surround them gossiping; mothers trying to console their crying children, waving toys in front of the strollers; people chatting loudly on their phones. It doesn't quiet have the ambience a good coffee shop should have…Blaine begins to have second thoughts as to whether this really was a good idea for their first date and when Blaine has second doubts, he gets nervous. He tries to focus out the crowd, turning to look at Kurt instead who seems far too engrossed in his coffee to care about the horrendous atmosphere.

"It's delicious," he says after noticing Blaine staring at him. Blaine smiles in response and nods before taking a sip of his own. One thing the Lima Bean does have in its favour is good coffee.

"I've never done this," Kurt admits after another short period of silence. "So I'm not exactly sure what's supposed to happen." Blaine chuckles in response though it's more to hide his embarrassment than to show any amusement.

"Neither have I. Evidently, it would seem that I'm not very good at romance. I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Kurt says, keeping his eyes fixed on the table.

"So, uh, Rachel said you used to be in glee club?" Blaine prompts, desperate to alleviate the awkward silences. It had been so much easier to talk to Kurt when the word 'date' wasn't hanging over them both. Kurt's eyes narrow as he lifts his head to look at Blaine.

"She didn't put you up to this, did she? You can't make me come back, I can't – " he says accusingly.

"What? No, no, no," Blaine is quick to reassure and without thinking, he reaches out to places his hand atop Kurt's. His heart stops the moment he feels the other boy's skin against his own but he refuses to take it back. "I promise." Kurt nods shakily, obviously just as aware of their touching hands as Blaine is. Clearing his throat, Blaine tries again. "She told me why you quit, I get it."

"They wanted everyone to be dressed identically for sectionals and unfortunately hats weren't in the dress code. If I went up on stage the way I am…" Kurt visibly shudders at the thought in a way that makes Blaine believe that it would be more than just his privacy at stake. He wants to ask but he knows not to push.

"You want to talk about it don't you," Kurt says as though reading Blaine's mind.

"Huh? N-no, I…" Blaine stutters, worried he might scare Kurt away.

"You should really stop looking at my head if you don't want to be so obvious," Kurt suggests with a fraction of a laugh.

"Sorry," Blaine apologises, feeling like the world's biggest idiot. "I don't mean to pry." Kurt takes a measured sip of his coffee before speaking again, picking his words carefully.

"It's okay that you're curious. I doubt that you've ever seen someone like me before, so I guess I can't really blame you."

"Kurt, we really don't have to talk about it," Blaine interrupts but Kurt waves away his concern.

"It's okay, I just…not here." Blaine's eyes widen as he realises what exactly Kurt is giving him: his trust. It's like he's laying it out on the table between them for Blaine to have. "I guess what you said yesterday was true. I really don't have anyone that I can talk to about all this except my dad and, keeping it a secret all the time is exhausting. I've never had someone I could call my friend, let alone…" he stops himself there and Blaine mentally begs him to finish just so he can know what Kurt thinks they might become. He wants more than anything for them to be on the same page. "We could…go to mine? After, I mean. My dad shouldn't be home for a while."

Blaine nods. "I'd like that."

They finish their coffee and talk for a while longer. Blaine's heart breaks as he comes to realise that Kurt really did enjoy his time spent in glee club. He's almost on the brink of begging him to join again but he knows it would end much like it did the first time. More than anything, he wishes he could give Kurt a place where he belongs, and even the glee club can't be that for him. The glee club prides itself on taking in anyone and making them feel at home, there's Artie who's wheelchair bound, Finn who's on the football team, Rory the foreign exchange student from Ireland. People like Quinn, the definition Prom Queen, hang out people like Tina, who apparently didn't speak to anyone before she joined glee club. It really is a welcoming home for anyone but could it be for Kurt? Someone who is so out of this world Blaine can hardly believe he's lucky enough to be the only person to really know him.

Blaine is glad to leave the bustling Lima Bean once they've finished their coffee and soon finds himself on the road, following Kurt's car back to his house.

It's a short journey and Blaine is suddenly aware of the nerves beginning to tingle up and down his body. He's really doing this. He actually asked out a guy and is now about to enter is very empty house and be alone with him and…Blaine tries to remind himself to breathe. It's like every teen movie cliché except he never dreamed _he'd_ get to experience something like this. Not with another guy, not living in Lima, Ohio. But here he is, climbing out of his car to greet Kurt at his front door and tentatively following him inside.

He knows they're not going to be doing anything of _that_ sort but Blaine still feels the butterflies in his stomach as he follows Kurt downstairs to his bedroom.

Kurt seems to be equally as nervous as he sits down on his bed. Blaine stays standing at the bottom of the stairs to Kurt's basement-bedroom as Kurt seems to realise what exactly he's doing. He smiles hesitantly, readjusting his hat before he beckons Blaine forward, patting the bed next to where he sits.

"You can come in you know. Unless you're a vampire and need a formal invitation," he says. Blaine attempts to abandon his nerves as he joins Kurt on the edge of the bed, unsure what exactly he should do with his hands until he settles with clasping then between his legs.

"I can't believe I'm about to tell you all this," Kurt says breathily, Blaine can't almost _hear_ how fast his heart must be beating judging by the terrified look on his face. "My dad would kill me if he found out."

"Then don't," Blaine is unable to stop himself from saying, unable to put Kurt through this. It wouldn't be fair, he knows it isn't fair to expect Kurt to spill all of his secrets and although he can't deny his curiosity, nothing is worth putting Kurt through this much anxiety. "You don't have to tell me, you're already keeping this secret from everyone, I don't want you to have to keep me a secret from your dad as well and I don't want to create a rift between you two. I'm not worth that. I asked you out because…I really like you, Kurt. I want to get to know you but I don't want you to feel like you have to spill all of your secrets to me." Daringly, Blaine reaches forward and places his hand on Kurt's arm. He really could get used to these little touches. "That…all those things come with time and I'm willing to wait because I really, _really_ care about you."

Kurt isn't looking at him. His eyes are fixed on his feet and Blaine is worried he might have said the wrong thing. His heart sinks the moment he hears a soft sniffle as Kurt's hand rises to fumble with his hat. "K-Kurt?"

Kurt heaves a shaky sigh and when he lifts his head, Blaine can see that he is, in fact, smiling, yet there are, unmistakeably, tears shining in his eyes, glistening softly as they reflect his smile.

"How are you real?" he finally asks, dumbfounded, "No one has ever been this nice to me." There's no response Blaine can think of so instead he squeezes Kurt's arm just a little, reassuring him that he's there and more than happy to stay. "What you said…that was really sweet but…" Kurt sighs again, trying to think up the right words, "You already know about me – to an extent – and I think I trust you enough to keep that a secret. But I still want you to know why, I don't think I can truly feel safe until I know that you understand what's at stake if the wrong person finds out about me."

Blaine swallows heavily, wondering how things became so serious all of a sudden.

"I…" he mumbles, unsure what exactly he should respond. Kurt pulls off his hat, revealing his ears. He seems relieved to have them uncovered again, scratching insatiably at the base of them. Blaine takes a moment to reaffirm that what he had seen the day before was in fact real and is right there in front of him. Kurt slowly peels off his coat then his thick woollen sweater and all of a sudden he's in just a thin cotton t-shirt and…oh.

His tail swishes delicately from side to side. It makes sense, really, Blaine should have guessed.

"Y-you…" he can't help but point out. Kurt huffs slightly in amusement.

"Yeah, it was kind of a two-for-one deal with the ears," he jokes.

It's abnormal and strange to see a person with a _tail_ and unlike anything Blaine has ever seen before but all of these things take a backseat because all he can think about is how soft it looks as he forces himself not to reach out and touch.

Blaine grins reassuringly when he sees Kurt's nervous expression. He can't go getting star-eyed every time Kurt shows him something unusual. He needs to prove to Kurt that he's reliable.

"Okay, I guess I should start with my mom," Kurt says reaching into the drawer beside his bed and rummaging through it.

"Kurt? You home?" A man's voice suddenly calls from upstairs and Kurt freezes instantly, tail stopping dead in its tracks as his ears twitch in the direction of the voice.

"Dad?"


	3. Chapter 3

"We weren't doing anything," Kurt squeaks as his dad comes into the room. His shirt is dishevelled and hair messy from where he'd hurriedly shoved his hat back on.

"I never said that you were," Mr Hummel says calmly, eyes darting from Blaine to Kurt then back again. Blaine is painfully aware that he's being scrutinized and gulps thickly. He never expected Kurt's father to be so – well – terrifying. "But now I'm starting to think it."

"Dad –"

"Who is he?" Mr Hummel interrupts. His eyes remain on Blaine when he asks the question while Blaine tries to find an appropriate place to look.

"He's…a friend, we were just…uh," Kurt stumbles.

"Does he know?" Blaine can hear Kurt's breath leave him and all he wants is to pull him into his arms yet he's not so sure that would be such a great idea at the present. Not with his father looming over them both as he is. "Kurt?" Slowly, Kurt begins to nod a fraction and Blaine closes his eyes expecting an explosion of some sort judging from the way Kurt was acting.

The silence that follows is unexpected to say the least. When Blaine finally reopens his eyes, Mr Hummel is staring intently in his direction still, eyes hard and jaw flexing.

"Kurt, what on Earth are you _thinking_?" Mr Hummel hisses.

"I wasn't planning on…I didn't mean to…" Kurt attempts to defend himself, "He just, he saved me. If Blaine wasn't there when he was, the whole school could have found out." Blaine believes that Kurt has a reasonable excuse, Mr Hummel doesn't have to know that Kurt willingly showed him his abnormality, he can't be mad, can he? If he's honest, Blaine is a little worried with how protective Kurt's father is being.

"Blaine, huh?" he says and Blaine's head perks up after hearing his name.

"Yes, Sir," he responds immediately.

"This true?" Blaine flounders as he attempts to figure out the correct response.

"Uh…" he says purely for the excuse of vocalisation. Beside him, Kurt gives him a look and, before he knows it, he's hastily nodding.

"Dad, he isn't going to tell anyone," Kurt defends, his voice a little more sure of itself now, like he's only just managed to find it.

"And you're certain about that, huh?" It's clear that Mr Hummel isn't convinced and with good reason. Blaine's barely had the chance to prove it to Kurt let alone his Dad.

"Mr Hummel," Blaine says, remembering that he has a voice of his own and deciding to see if he can put it to good use, "the circumstances in which I found out about Kurt were…unfortunate and it really wasn't his fault that I did," Mr Hummel patiently listens as Blaine tries to explain them both, "but…I do know now and I can't un-know it," Blaine cringes as his eloquence flies out the window, "You don't have any reason to believe me, I get that, but I promise you – _both_ – that I won't utter a word of this to another living soul."

Mr Hummel swallows, considering what Blaine had said before eventually nodding.

"Good, because if you do then I'll wring your neck," he says gruffly. "So, you staying for dinner, kid?" Blaine gulps at the threat, eyes wide as he tries to stop his entire body from trembling. Kurt answers for him with a polite yes and Mr Hummel gestures for them to follow him upstairs, clearly not keen on them being alone together. As Blaine trails behind, Kurt looks over his shoulder and smiles warmly and suddenly it feels as though the miasma has cleared, like things aren't quite as awkward as they seem. Blaine thinks he may have finally earned Kurt's trust, truly.

"Hey," Kurt greets the next day, popping up stealthily out of nowhere as Blaine retrieves some books from his locker. "So, I hope my dad didn't frighten you too much yesterday…" he begins, tracing a pattern on the floor with his toes in a way that Blaine finds utterly adorable. "It would be a real shame if the only guy who was ever interested in me was scared away by my dad," he says with a short, uncertain laugh. Blaine feels his chest tingle with Kurt's acknowledgement to his feelings

"It's fine. I guess he did catch us in an awkward position," Blaine admits, closing his locker and leaning against it so he's facing Kurt.

"He has good intentions. It's been just the two of us ever since my Mom died so he might be a little over protective. Understandably though," Kurt says with a quick glance upwards and Blaine knows he's referring to his ears. "I think he's terrified of losing me too." This little confession is probably the most he's seen into who Kurt really is. Blaine can see the sorrow painted across his face when he mentions his mother, he really isn't as good at hiding his feelings as he seems. There's still the looming question of what exactly does all this mean? These little snippets that Kurt reveals about himself are mere puzzle pieces and Blaine doesn't have nearly enough to see the whole picture. Not yet anyway. Kurt was about to tell him yesterday and despite Blaine's protests that he doesn't have to know, he can't deny the fact that he's curious. The fact is Blaine likes Kurt, with or without his unique features, with or without his secrets. If and when Kurt is ready to try telling him again, then he'll gladly listen but he knows he can't push.

"I'm sorry we got interrupted last night," Kurt says, understanding that he's being deliberately ambiguous.

"It's fine, Kurt. Like I said, you don't have to tell me if you're really not ready." Kurt smiles as he bashfully looks down at his feet and the two begin walking to class together

"You're just…you're so…" he tries and Blaine smiles wide and open mouthed.

"I'm so what?" he presses with amusement.

"I don't know…You're just you. I like it," Kurt says with a shrug.

"That doesn't make any sense," Blaine comments, laughing out right. "But I enjoyed the part where you said you liked me," he finishes with a smirk, satisfied when he sees Kurt blush right up to the tip of his ears.

"Enough of that," Kurt says, feigning annoyance, "I have to get to class." He motions to leave as they arrive at his class.

"Wait!" Blaine begs just as Kurt turns. He snaps his head back and waits for Blaine to continue, eyes wide and expectant. "I just…well, yesterday didn't exactly go as planned but…would it be okay if I took you out again sometime?" he asks sheepishly. To his relief, Kurt smiles at the idea.

"What did you have in mind?" he asks coyly.

"Anything you want," Blaine tells him and watches happily as Kurt's brow furrows before he elaborates, "anything you want to do, anything you've always wanted to do but never been able to, we'll do that," Blaine promises, "Think about it."

With that he leaves for his own class, allowing Kurt to ponder his proposal.

Kurt doesn't mention Blaine's plan for their second date for the rest of the day and neither does Blaine, deciding he should give him time to really consider it.

They eat lunch together again and though Blaine can feel his friends staring from across the cafeteria, he doesn't take notice. Kurt seems bubblier than normal, he speaks five hundred words a minute as he talk about his day. It's a shame that he's been alone for so long, with no one to spend his lunch period with. They each pick at the bowl of fruit between them as they talk. Blaine finds that he loves learning about Kurt, they share in their guilty pleasures, and Blaine is surprised to find someone with a collection of Vogue magazines to rival his own.

After school, Blaine makes his way to glee club with a sense of dread. He's barely spoken to them since he started to get to know Kurt and he knows they're going to be filled to bursting with questions. For a club that prides itself on acceptance, they do enjoy gossip.

The first question that greets him when he enters the room is "how?" Mercedes stands with her arms crossed in front of her with a look of sheer bafflement.

"I'm great, thanks for asking Mercedes, you?" Blaine replies, unsure as to what exactly she wants from him.

"Oh don't give me that. How on Earth are you the only one able to get Kurt to talk to you? I tried befriending him two years ago and he completely blanked me," she says bitterly.

"Because you had a crush on him. You probably intimidated him with your boobs when he was clearly hoisting the homo flag," Puck adds from where he sits at the back of the room, earning him a glare from Mercedes.

"If you don't shut that mouth, I will shut it for you, Puckerman."

"All I'm saying is that Blaine here wants the D just as much as Hummel does," Blaine can feel his cheeks heat up as he represses the urge to hit his head against the table. "It's no wonder Kurt took a shine to him, I mean he's probably never met another gay guy before," he finishes with a shrug. Blaine lips flicker in a smile, thankful that Puck has come up with the perfect alibi for him. A small part of Blaine still has the feeling that Kurt would have brushed him off like everyone else had he not found out about him and he doesn't think it would bode well if he told the glee club that the only reason Kurt is opening up to him is because Blaine knows his biggest secret.

"He doesn't really have anyone he can talk to about stuff," Blaine says, slipping his satchel from his shoulder and taking a seat in the front row. It's not exactly a lie.

"Do you think he'd –"

"No," Blaine interrupts Rachel as she pipes up beside him. "He has no intentions of re-joining the glee club and I'm not going to ask him to," he states as firmly as he can.

"I was just saying," Rachel says sulkily, "He has a great voice. We could really use someone like him, we need to build up all of your backing vocals to be as strong as possible. It's exhausting when I have to win us sectionals by myself." Ignoring Rachel's display of obnoxiousness, Blaine allows his mind to consider what exactly Kurt sounds like when he sings. Judging from the delicate meter in which he speaks and the undeniably beautiful sound of his speaking voice alone, Blaine would bet that hearing him sing would be something magical.

"I'm sure he's amazing," he says softly, mesmerized by the mere thought of it, "but he has his reasons for quitting and I can't convince him otherwise, even if I wanted to."

"Wait, you know why he quit?" Artie asks, rolling up to them both in his wheelchair. Blaine was unaware that he was even listening in on the conversation but now that he looks around, he can see the entire glee club is just as invested in this. "Why?"

"I…yeah. But it's not my story to tell," Blaine settles with telling them. Really, he's starting to get into dangerous territory here. "And I'd appreciate it if you didn't ask." With that, Blaine ignores any further questions from the glee club, thankful when Mr Schuester arrives to start rehearsals. They work on their performance for the sectionals competition coming up and Blaine is thankful for the brief period when he can forget everything except dance moves and song lyrics. He's nervous to receive a reply from Kurt regarding a second date, after all, Kurt never specifically agreed to it in the first place. Was Blaine being too presumptuous in asking him? He'd left the ball in Kurt's side of the court when he told him to come up with something for them to do but what if Kurt didn't want to go at all? The moment rehearsal ends, all of these worries come back in full force. The _what-ifs_ buzz around his head like flies despite how much Blaine tries to swat them away. He almost hates himself for trying to be romantic, why couldn't he arrange a normal second date like a normal person? Blaine groans inwardly as he drives himself home, dreading the coming of Kurt's answer.

It occurs to Blaine over the weekend that he and Kurt never actually exchanged cell phone numbers or, well, anything. He isn't sure if he should feel frustrated or relieved. He just can't get Kurt off his mind and knowing that there's no way to contact him leaves him with a feeling of helplessness and the longer he waits for a reply about their date the more he can feel himself going insane. His mind constantly jumps from excitement to dread. He looks forward to potentially having a second date with Kurt until his brain convinces itself that Kurt will most definitely so no. He has nothing to base these assumptions on at all but the waiting is seriously getting to him.

By the time Monday comes, Blaine is itching to see Kurt again. When he finds him in the hallway before their first class begins, breathing suddenly becomes increasingly difficult.

"Hey," he greets, trying his utmost to sound casual but he can't deny the fact that his voice is pitchy and shaky with nerves.

Kurt on the other hand is seemingly oblivious to both Blaine's behaviour and the reasons behind it as he smiles and greets him back.

"So…have you thought much about…you know," Blaine asks, unable to take the suspense any longer. He'd been driving himself crazy second guessing himself over and over again all weekend. Sure Kurt had seemed happy with the idea when he first asked but he's had plenty of time to change his mind since then. He just needs an answer now. Kurt nods in response to his question and when he doesn't say anything further, Blaine feels his heart sink just a little. "So…?" he prompts.

"I don't know," Kurt admits sending Blaine's heart in a complete downward spiral. _It's okay_ , he tells himself. _Rejection is okay._

Except when it's rejection from Kurt it really isn't okay.

"Oh," he mumbles.

"I mean, I can't really think of anything in particular that I've always wanted to do."

"Oh?" Blaine replies, feeling the tiny flame of hope reigniting again. "Nothing at all?"

"Well, I guess I've kind of always wanted to ride on a rollercoaster," Kurt admits.

"Great! So we'll go to Six Flags!" Blaine says excitedly, all of the doubt he'd felt over the weekend suddenly fading into the shadows.

"No, no," Kurt stops him with a wave of his hands as he turns to stand in front of Blaine, both of them coming to a halt in the hallway. "I can't, it's way too risky, just like everything else that I've sort of always wanted to do," Kurt says with a shrug. Blaine frowns.

"Like what?"

"Just ordinary things I guess, going to a theme park, going swimming or performing on a stage. But I had to quit glee club, I've never been _near_ a swimming pool and I wasn't even allowed to play in the park with the other kids when I was little just in case something happened." The way Kurt says it, like it's no big deal, makes Blaine's chest ache for him.

"Kurt, that's awful," he sympathises, voice soft and gentle as he considers taking Kurt's hand in his own but before he can make a conscious decision, Kurt is speaking again.

"It's not so bad," he says, "I've never been able to do any of those things so I don't actually know what I'm missing out on. I know I'm never going to get to do a lot of things and I accepted that fact a long time ago," Kurt explains with only a tiny hint of sadness. Nonetheless it's still there and still enough to make Blaine determined.

"I have an idea," he says the moment it forms in his mind. "Are you free tonight?"


	4. Chapter 4

Blaine waits until it's completely dark out before he texts Kurt that he's on his way, smiling at the thought that he can now text Kurt whenever he wants. Despite the anxiety he'd put himself through waiting for Kurt's reply over the weekend, Blaine feels a lot more confident now as he drives to Kurt's house. Sure there are still some nerves and the tremor in his leg won't seem to die down but it is his second date with probably the most interesting kid he's ever met. With nothing much else to occupy his mind with as he drives, Blaine allows himself to relish in the fact that he's a teenage boy, on his way to pick up his _date._ For once in his life, Blaine actually feels normal.

They'd agreed that Blaine would park his car a few houses down the road from Kurt's before letting him know he's outside to avoid interrogation from Kurt's dad. A few minutes later and Kurt is climbing in the car, looking undoubtedly stunning.

"You look amazing," Blaine tells him and Kurt smiles fiddling with the zip to his jacket.

"Thanks," Kurt replies, "you too." He scans an eye over Blaine's outfit approvingly. Blaine had opted for a pair of maroon corduroys and a black and white striped polo shirt. He smiles awkwardly in response, unused to getting such compliments.

"It's nothing special," Blaine says as he drives them both to their destination for the evening. "But I just thought this might be something you'd like. Something simple."

It's not very far of a drive and soon Blaine is parking his car along the sidewalk. The two exit the car and Kurt looks around, brows furrowing.

"The park?" he says with confusion as he notices where they are.

"You said you never got to go when you were a kid…" Blaine explains, walking towards the trunk of his car and pulling out a basket. "I made us a picnic!" Kurt laughs at Blaine's hopeful expression "It's not much…"

"It's perfect!" Kurt says with a smile that looks to be permanent, "I can't think of anything better."

They walk towards the play area side by side and Blaine finds the courage to slip his hand into Kurt as they walk. Kurt says nothing, he barely acknowledges the gesture aside from a tiny squeeze of his fingers, just enough to let Blaine know he's there. It's dark, almost pitch black, the only light source from a few distance street lamps, illuminating the place in a dull orange.

"Why did we have to come in the dead of night?" Kurt asks, their hands beginning to swing a little between them.

"I wanted to make sure there'd be no one around. I want you to feel comfortable and safe."

"I do feel safe," Kurt assures him.

They reach the play area and Blaine reluctantly releases Kurt's hand to place their picnic basket on the top platform of the jungle gym before hoisting himself up. Kurt joins shortly after. It's small, just a little too small for the both of them but they huddle up close together, both sitting with their legs crossed as Blaine unpacks their picnic.

"These things always seemed so much bigger when I was a kid. I feel huge now," Blaine says, cringing as he hits his head against one of the bright yellow metal bars with a painful _clang_. Kurt suppresses a snicker, covering his mouth slightly as Blaine rubs his head. "Yeah I've definitely outgrown these things."

"I think it's cosy," Kurt says, leaning back and looking at the stars. It's a clear night and just on the verge of being bitter but not unbearable so. Kurt rubs his hands together a little as Blaine opens up his mother's picnic basket, the red and white checked pattern screaming _happy families_ , and begins to unpack. "So what's on the menu," Kurt inquires curiously.

"Finger sandwiches, cheese with crackers, and homemade cookies," Blaine says, "It's not much but it's the best I could pull together on short notice."

"Homemade cookies, huh?" Kurt says picking one from the tub and taking a bite, eyes closing in delight as he tastes.

"Hey! Didn't your mother ever teach you to finish your dinner before dessert?" Blaine pretends to scold before his heart plummets in his chest. Oh God did he really just say that? That's great Blaine bring up his dead mother, that'll make him like you.

"She also told me not to go to the park, I guess I'm being extra rebellious today," Kurt says between bites of the cookie, clearly unbothered by Blaine's comment but Blaine won't forgive himself quite so easily. He mentally makes a note to think before he next speaks. "These are really good, did you make them yourself?" Kurt asks as he finishes the last bite. Blaine nods while he finishes unpacking the picnic basket, proud of the little display. "Well then, I am definitely keeping you around." Kurt's comment induces a flutter in Blaine's chest that leave him giddy and he wonders if he can just stay feeling this way forever.

When preparing for the evening, Blaine made sure not to pack too much food, he wasn't sure whether Kurt would have eaten before he came out but between the two of them they leave nothing uneaten. Blaine even dares feeding Kurt some crackers and cheese and they both end up in a fit of giggles when Kurt smears butter on Blaine's nose. Once everything is packed back into the basket, Blaine drops it to the floor of the play area to afford them some extra room. He can't deny the fact that his legs are beginning to cramp though Kurt doesn't seem concerned with the lack of space.

The wind picks up slightly, and Blaine shivers. It's eerily quiet. The only sound is of the leaves rustling in the wind and the creak of a gate's unoiled hinges in the distance. Kurt leans his head against Blaine, arm snaking under Blaine's so they're linked and he joins their hands together again, slotting each finger in place carefully while Blaine watches in awe. They're so slender and elegant.

"I can't stay for too long," Kurt tells him, voice soft yet it feels so loud coming from right beside his ear, like Kurt is whispering poetics inside his head. "I told my dad I was going to school to see the musical." Blaine frowns.

"The musical was last week."

"Yeah but he doesn't know that," Kurt says with amusement. "He really doesn't like you," he adds, a little more serious.

"I thought as much," Blaine says though inside he feels hopeless. It's tiring having a disapproving father of his own, he's not sure how he'll can cope with a second.

"It's not you personally," Kurt says, sensing Blaine's dejection, "like I said, he's just really protective. I don't think he'd like anyone I befriended."

"Am I really your first friend?" Blaine says, not wanting to actually believe it. He just can't stop picturing Kurt as a kid, all alone, with no one to play with, no one to talk to. Blaine can remember playing on a jungle gym very much similar to the one they're both sat upon when he was growing up. Back before people were obsessed with labels like loser and freak and _fag._

"I was home schooled until I was eight. That was when my mom died so obviously she couldn't teach me anymore. My dad didn't want to send me to school but he couldn't afford a tutor and he didn't want me to miss out on an education. He told me not to get too close to anyone, to keep to myself and above everything, make sure I wasn't found out. I followed his orders and it didn't really leave a lot of room for friend making." Blaine sighs as he tries to imagine what that must have been like. He's always felt the need to surround himself with people, maybe because it gives him a chance to focus on them rather than himself. Whenever he's alone, Blaine tends to go crazy with his own thoughts and he's sure spending the first eight years of his life with no one but his parents to interact with, Blaine would have lost his mind. But that's just him.

"My mom was like me," Kurt whispers so quietly that Blaine can barely hear despite them being so close.

"Yeah?" Blaine's aware that Kurt can probably feel his heart pumping but can't find it in him to care because Kurt is so close and the moment suddenly became so much more intimate. Kurt nods, staring distantly ahead.

"I remember she always wore her hair up in this intricate braid to cover her ears when she went out. I begged her to let me grow my hair so I could do the same but she never let me. I guess it was for the best, I don't think I could really rock that look," Kurt smiles at the memory and Blaine laughs a little as he imagines it.

"I think you'd look great no matter what," he says. Kurt tears his eyes away from where they're staring at nothing in particular and gives Blaine an amused yet questioning look.

"The thing is," Kurt says, growing serious again. He turns a little so he's leaning against the frame of the jungle gym and looking directly at Blaine. "I've always been ashamed of what I am. I've been taught to hide it ever since I was born. My parents always told me how special I was but…I knew that I was a just freak."

"You're not!" Blaine interjects.

"You're the first person to ever know and you didn't attack me for it or freak out…much. You just…you treat me so wonderfully and you say all these nice things and you make me feel like I'm almost normal," Kurt confesses, looking Blaine directly in the eyes. Although he hates that Kurt's never been shown such decency before, Blaine feels just a little swell of pride that he gets to be the one to do this for Kurt.

"You are normal," he tells him but Kurt shakes his head.

"There's a difference between flattery and flat out lying, Blaine. I'm different and I can't live a normal life because of it," Kurt says regretfully. His voice is a little harder now but Blaine knows it's not because he's angry at _him_. "If it got out, my life would be over. And not _I have a pimple my life is over_ , I mean really over." Blaine says inothing. He doesn't want to push but he can tell Kurt is building up to something. Something big. "I…I'm not the only one who's like…this. There are others, not very many, several hundred maybe, but they exist. I guess it's all some big, underground secret. They're sold as slaves all around the world to the rich, the corrupt…the _disgusting._

"My Mom's only ever told me this story once. Every time she thought about it, I remember she'd just get so sad and quiet. She's one of the few – if not the only – who's ever actually escaped. They're made to wear cuffs on their wrists so their owners can ensure they can't get away, if they're ever a certain distance away from where they're based then it…burns. I don't-I don't know how exactly, she never went into the specifics but my Mom…to get away she…she had to k-kill her owner." Kurt is shaking and won't look anywhere but at his feet while Blaine refuses to breathe, afraid he'll intrude on Kurt's confession if he's too loud. He feels as though he shouldn't be here at all, like he's simply an onlooker, eavesdropping on such a personal story. But then Kurt's hand is squeezing Blaine's, begging for reassurance and Blaine gives him just that, tightening the grip. They ground each other.

"She had to. Sh-she just… _had_ to. She never told me exactly what he did and it never

really occurred to me what sort of slave she was until I got older." There are tears in

Kurt's eyes and within seconds they're falling freely down his face, dripping onto his knees leaving dark circles. Blaine shakes, trying to ward off his own tears as he comes to the same realisation Kurt had so long ago. The dull ache that Blaine feels must pale in comparison to what Kurt went through when he realised the truth. What his own mother was forced to do. What Kurt himself could be forced… _No_. Blaine won't let his mind go there.

"People like me, we're just…Sex Toys," Kurt says with disgust and Blaine suddenly wants to puke, he can feel the bile rising in his throat but manages to force it down as he takes a deep breath. He's suddenly not sure if he can handle this, it's too much, far too much for him to take in, to accept. He's just a teenager and Blaine feels so out of his depth. But Kurt is right there and he needs his support and he needs for Blaine not to run away and that's all that matters.

"Y-you're not…you were n-never?" Blaine stutters, his teeth are chattering and his arms shiver as he's grown ice cold all over.

"No," Kurt says with a shake of his head, "Of course not." Blaine let's himself find consolation in this. At least Kurt hasn't been hurt in that way.

"The cuff burned her severely," Kurt says, continuing with his story, "the scars never really faded, it burned her non-stop for almost an entire day but I guess she got so far away in the end that the signal didn't reach anymore or maybe the power ran out, we never really found out for sure but she said she wanted to tear her arm off the pain was so bad. Since then, she was a fugitive. They've been looking for her ever since her owner was found dead, the Traders that it. They're the ones who keep those of us who don't have owners and auction them to the highest bidder. Thankfully, they don't know that I exist but they don't know that my Mom's not alive either so they're still looking. If they get even a whiff of something abnormal, anything in the news or the media about someone with abnormalities like mine then they'll come looking and they'll take me as theirs." Blaine shakes his head slightly as he tries to fathom all of this. It's a lot of information to take in but the facts are quite clear. If Kurt's secret is revealed then he'll taken away to be some monster's….play thing. No, Blaine can't accept that, he refuses to. The world can be a wicked place but surely not to that extent. He just can't take that, he's not sure if he can survive knowing just how sick and corrupted this planet of theirs really is.

"No, they…they can't just take you. You have rights, can't your dad call the police or report you missing?"

"Blaine, in the eyes of the law, I don't exist. I don't have a birth certificate or a passport or any bank details. I was born on the floor of my living room because my Mom couldn't go to the hospital since she'd be found out. My dad forged all of my details to get me into school, that's the closest I have to an identity. You can't report a person missing if they never existed in the first place. And that's if they don't kill my dad on the spot for hiding me. He might as well have stolen me the way they look at it. They're very, very thorough."

"They can't get away with this!" Blaine says just as his own tears begins to fall and his voice wavers.

"They will, and they have been for a very long time. There's a reason as to how no one knows about us." It scares Blaine how resigned Kurt is to his fate if anything were to happen, how certain he is of the outcome.

Unable to hold it in any more, Blaine begins to cry. Hard. His body shakes violently as the fat tears roll down his cheeks no matter how much he tries to stop himself.

"Hey, no, Blaine, please don't cry. I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to upset you." Kurt's on his knees, holding Blaine's hand to his chest while Blaine presses his other against his forehead while he tries to calm himself. With a shake of his head and a tight squeeze of his hand, Blaine assures Kurt that he's okay. He doesn't trust himself to speak though, not just yet.

"I guess now you can see why my Dad is so protective," Kurt says softly, settling back down beside Blaine and leaning his head against his shoulder once more. "And why it was so incredibly reckless of me to show you in the locker room." Blaine looks up slowly from where he'd buried his face in his hand, a look of horror written across his face.

"You shouldn't have, Kurt. You shouldn't have told me. I could have been anyone! What if I told everyone? What if I wasn't who I said I was?" Blaine demands in hysterics.

"Blaine! Calm down. Please." Breathing heavily, Blaine manages to think rationally enough to shut himself up. "You're not going to tell anyone. I _know_ you're not going to betray me. Am I right?" Blaine manages a nod, "It was stupid and idiotic but I'm glad I did it. Because now I get to be truly honest with someone my age for the first time in my life! I get to have a real friend and…and maybe something more. And I _really_ don't want you to turn into my dad," Kurt says, twisting his hands together. With a thick swallow, Blaine squeezes his eyes shut and nods again before exhaling heavily through his nose.

"I won't let anything happen to you," he vows, "I'll make sure your secret stays hidden, I promise." Blaine doesn't know how to make Kurt believe him, how to prove just how genuinely he means every syllable but thankfully Kurt seems to understand exactly how much he means it.

"Thank you," Kurt says, his contented smile growing just a little as Blaine gazes affectionately at him. Blaine can see the way his eyes dart about until they finally land on Blaine's. They each hold one another's gaze for a moment before Kurt eye's drops ever so slightly and Blaine can't help but feel self-conscious because the only place he could possibly be looking is –

And then Kurt's kissing him. It comes as a shock at first but the second his brain catches up, Blaine's entire being melts into everything that is Kurt, his lips, his taste, his smell. Overwhelmed with primal thoughts of just more, he feels as though everything around him falls to dust when Kurt pulls away as quickly as they had come together. It was barely more than a quick peck, only lasting a second or two but Blaine knows in that second that Kurt is perfect for him.

"Hey! I was about to do that!" Blaine admits. He'd be lying if he said he hadn't been thinking about Kurt's mouth for a long time before that.

"Yeah but I beat you to it," Kurt says with a playful laugh.

"You totally stole my thunder." Blaine moves in a little and they're so close that he thinks – hopes – that Kurt might just kiss him again.

"I've kind of always wanted to do that," Kurt says with a slight tone of seriousness. "Just…kiss someone. Like people do on TV. Not that, I mean…not that I wanted to kiss just anyone, I…you're…" Kurt backpedals, floundering as he tries to find the right words.

"Tongue tied?" Blaine asks, "Here, let me fix that." It's cheesy and he knows it but he leans in, connecting his lips to Kurt's once more and, heart beating painfully hard, he daringly slips his tongue out to stroke keenly against Kurt's lips until they grant him entry. Stroking delicately at Kurt's hand clasped within his own, Blaine brings his free hand to gently cup Kurt's face, still a little damp from where he had been crying. He can taste the salty remnants of his tears against his lips, urging Blaine to kiss back deeper, to try and take away all the fear that Kurt has had to deal with his entire life. He just wants to make him forget everything for a moment, to take away the pain. Against his lips, Blaine can feel Kurt smiling into the kiss, causing a bubble of satisfaction to churn in his chest because _he did that _.__

But then with a sudden urgency Kurt pulls back, hands clamped over his mouth while his cheeks flush a dangerous shade of red.

"What? What's wrong?" Blaine asks, out of breath and a little worried. Kurt doesn't say a word but when the blood stops rushing in Blaine's ears, he can hear it; the soft rumble of a purr. Blaine's face lights up when he realises what it is and he just finds it so incredibly adorable.

"I haven't done this in years," Kurt says with a whimper. "My dad's not exactly the affectionate type a-and…" Blaine crawls on his knees over to Kurt, minding his head on the monkey bars above.

"I think it's adorable," Blaine coos before cringing inwardly because apparently all of his thoughts are getting vocalised today. Kurt seems to relax a little as Blaine comes closer and he no longer supresses his purr as it grows in volume. Blaine's hand comes to stroke at a piece of hair that had fallen out from under Kurt's hat. He wonders how he got so lucky, to meet someone as unique and special as Kurt, but it's not just Kurt's oddities that Blaine finds so endearing. It's just him. Just Kurt. The way he can smile so brightly without opening his mouth, the way he juts his out chin when he concentrates, the way his eyes look when the moon reflects off of them. Blaine's amazed that he's already so familiar with Kurt's idiosyncrasies.

"Speaking of your dad, we should probably get you home. I really don't want to give him any more reasons to dislike me," Blaine jokes and though he really doesn't want this night to end, he's sure they'll get plenty more in the future.


	5. Chapter 5

Things with Kurt become easier after that perfect night in the park that seems more and more like a combination of a disturbing nightmare and a translucent dream as time passes. There's a trust between them now, not that Kurt didn't trust Blaine before but now it's different. Now that he understands the importance of keeping Kurt's secret, Kurt seems to never leave his side.

At school, they tend not to display too much affection, after all it is still Ohio and high school at that, it's not exactly the best combination. Brief glances and fleeting smiles are the most they can get away with, occasionally, when feeling particularly daring, they may brush hands over lunch, the touch sending miniature bolts of electricity running up and down every nerve. Maybe they're being over cautious but it's important that they go as unnoticed as possible. A repeat of what happened in the locker room could leave Kurt in serious trouble, it's best if he's left alone entirely.

Although they're careful to be as discreet as possible, they're budding relationship does not go unnoticed by the glee club. Blaine is cornered at his locker when none of other than Rachel Berry appears, looking as determined as ever.

"Can I help you?" he asks casually. It's clear she's only there because she wants something.

"You and Kurt," she begins, "You're dating." Blaine nods but he knows she didn't stop by just to tell him the obvious.

"Your point? And if you're trying to get me to ask him to join glee then you're wasting your breath." The look on Rachel's face tells Blaine that he's hit the nail on the head.

"All I'm saying is that if you're together then why not? I mean you'd get to spend more time with each other."

It's not as if Blaine hasn't thought about this. It's difficult being at school with Kurt when they can't actually _be_ together. He's sure that concealed within the walls of the choir room, they could actually act like a real couple without worrying about people giving Kurt hassle. But it's not his decision and he can't force Kurt to do anything he isn't comfortable with.

"Look, I get what you're saying but I won't force Kurt to join if he doesn't want to," Blaine says leaning against his locker and facing Rachel, hoping she might actually listen to what he's saying for once. "Why do you want him to join so badly anyway?" he asks, turning back to his locker and fishing out some more of his books. "We're sounding good, it's not like we desperately _need_ a new member."

"Because we miss him." Rachel's voice is soft and quiet and Blaine is certain that he imagined it until he turns to see her looking dejectedly down at her feet.

"You…what?" he asks slowly.

"Well, I wouldn't go so far as to say that we were friends but…he was in our club for a few months, before everyone else joined, when we were barely even a club at all. If it wasn't for Kurt, I doubt we'd have been able to get it off the ground and…well, he did seem happy. And he sang _beautifully_. Then he quit and…he just looked sad all the time and he wouldn't talk to anyone. But since you came along, he's looked so much better, we've all noticed! And I guess it kind of reminded us of how things were before and we really want that Kurt to come back."

Sometimes Blaine forgets that he's the new kid and that these people existed and had dramas and friendships and arguments before he arrived. He forgets that they've all known Kurt far longer than he has and he's surprised to find that he isn't bitter. Because they don't really know him, not like he does, and the fact that they do seem to care warms his heart.

"Just…bring him along to rehearsal some time. We won't make him sing, he doesn't even have to talk if he doesn't want to but…I spoke to Mr. Schue and he thinks it'd be great for Kurt, and everyone else really want him back too."

"I…I'll talk to him," Blaine finally relents, head swimming as he wishes he could have known Kurt back then. "I'm not promising anything but I'll talk to him."

"Thank you," Rachel says earnestly, gripping his arm and sweeping her thumb across it gently. Blaine offers her a smile and she finally leaves, leaving Blaine to consider how he's supposed to bring the subject up with Kurt.

* * *

At school they have to be cautious. It's not that they're ashamed of one another or their relationship, it's just a fact they both understand. Homophobia is difficult to escape in Lima and unwanted attention is the one thing Kurt needs to avoid to ensure that no one accidentally discovers his secret. But in the confines of Blaine's bedroom, safe in the knowledge that no one will be home for several hours, they have as much freedom as they need. It's nice to just be together, Blaine thinks. They usually work on their homework, the mutual silence like a third companion in the room. Sometimes Blaine will put some music on, noticing the way Kurt stares at him fondly when he begins to hum along.

Comfortable. That's what they are. Kurt feels comfortable enough to take off his hat and some of his layers, to lounge around in Blaine's bedroom – so long as the curtains are closed – with his cat features on full display, confident in Blaine's judgement that no one will walk in while Blaine feels at ease enough to let his guard down, to be entirely vulnerable in front of another person, to be honest and to not hide his feelings. They're simply comfortable.

Sometimes they spend whole afternoons just kissing and Blaine is certain that he can never be unhappy as long as Kurt is in his life, doing the things he does with his lips. Hands roam but they don't travel far, there's an understanding between them that they're both not ready for anything of that description just yet. But they explore and test new boundaries and together they learn and memorize each other's sensitive spots and weaknesses. The way Kurt's toes curl when Blaine caresses his lips and the rumble of his purr that seems always prominent when they kiss always makes Blaine lose his breath a little. He can feel the vibrations against his lips when Kurt kisses him, like a constant motor. It sends shivers down the entirety of Blaine's body, the purr echoing and vibrating throughout his whole frame, bouncing from his bones and sending tiny vibrations of pleasure that he can feel to the tips of his fingers and toes.

"This all feels so very… _Teenager_ ," Kurt comments midway through a more heated make out session. Blaine crosses his brow slightly though unable to keep the smile off his kiss-swollen lips.

"We are teenagers," he replies with a laugh.

"That's what makes it so amazing. I never thought I'd get this, just a normal teenage experience. Being gay _and_ half cat sort of puts me at a disadvantage. But here I am, kissing my boyfriend on his bed while my dad thinks we're doing homework. Just like in the movies!"

Blaine laughs before repeating back the word "Boyfriend," and leaning forward to place a gentle kiss against Kurt's lips. They've been officially boyfriends for a total of 1 week, 1 day and 18 hours and the term still makes butterflies spring to life in Blaine's stomach. The breathless look on Kurt's face tells Blaine he feels the same way. He tangles their legs together where they both lay facing each other on the bed, wanting to be just that little bit closer to Kurt. Lips still a mere inch away from Kurt's, Blaine decides to continue scattering feather light pecks across his lips and jaw. Seemingly on its own, Blaine's hand wanders up and down Kurt's arm, delicately tracing his fingertips over the skin until he can feel goose bumps there and Kurt shivers slightly. Blaine smiles while he continues to dot kisses across every inch of Kurt's face. Once he's littered Kurt's jaw with them, he moves upwards, kissing every angle of his nose and cheeks, letting Kurt's eyelids flutter closed before he presses his lips gently against each of them.

After pressing one last fleeting kiss to Kurt's forehead, Kurt angles his head downwards, burrowing his face into Blaine's chest to give him access to his head. Blaine can feel his purring vibrating against his ribs.

Kurt begins presses his fingers into Blaine's side before releasing and then pushing once more, alternating the action with both hands until Blaine realises what he's doing.

"Are you kneading me?" he asks, with amusement.

"Mmm, feels good," Kurt hums back contentedly before nestling further into Blaine's chest. Blaine's hand reach the nape of Kurt's neck and begins stroking gently at the bottom of his hairline. When Kurt's purring grows louder, the kneading more urgent, Blaine allows his hand to tangle in Kurt's hair, the other laying protectively over Kurt's back. It's silky and soft and Blaine has half a mind to ask what conditioner he uses but he feels it might ruin the moment.

Kurt's purrs are interlaced with happy hums when Blaine begins to scratch tentatively at his scalp. They've never done this before, they've never explored this territory and Blaine doesn't want to ask whether Kurt actually enjoys being petted like a cat would. He doesn't know the etiquette for this sort of thing but evidently Kurt seems to be more than appreciative.

"Is this okay?" Blaine asks, just to be sure. Kurt responds with a nod before pushing his head further into Blaine's hand, urging him to continue his fondling.

Blaine massages Kurt's head, fingers tracing and trailing in nonsensical patterns while Kurt continues to indulge himself. Slowly, Blaine fingers gently at Kurt's ears. He'd be lying if he said he hadn't been dying to touch them, to feel them under his fingertips ever since Kurt first revealed them to him. He'd been careful this past week, making sure to avoid them when he let his hands roam but he can't deny his curiosity.

The short, downy hair is unbelievably soft and Blaine isn't sure how he's going to manage the rest of his life without constantly feeling the thick hair – or fur– under his fingertips. As he gently begins to stroke Kurt's ears, they twitch subtly and it takes all of Blaine's will power not to coo at how adorable his boyfriend is. He's a little worried his neighbours may hear them with how loud Kurt begins to purr when Blaine scratches experimentally at the base of Kurt's left ear, the sound resembling a car engine. The rhythm of his purring becomes infrequent and disjointed and Blaine can't believe how such a simple touch can make Kurt fall apart like this.

Blaine is sure he could stay like this for the rest of his life and after what feels like such a length of time, Kurt lifts his head away from Blaine's hands and kisses him fiercely, planting both of his hands on either side of Blaine and nudging him with his knees until Blaine is lying on his back. Blaine's head rushes with the sudden change of tempo.

"So I think we've established that I very much like it when you do that." Kurt says slyly, his lips only a fraction away from Blaine's, teasingly close.

"Well I'll be sure to remember that for future reference," he answers swiftly before Kurt leans down and kisses him once more.

Their lips are connected when Kurt begins to laugh, eyes finding Blaine's, so full of wonder and hope.

"I want to stay like this forever," he says, voice dropping just a little as though realising it can't be so.

"Who says we can't?" Blaine asks, heart thudding painfully, missing Kurt's lips against his. Kurt shrugs in response before settling down on top of Blaine, pressing kisses to his cheek.

"Have you thought about college?" Kurt says out of the blue after several moments of blissful silence littered only by the soft smacks of their kissing. Blaine frowns.

"No, not really. Not yet at least," he answers truthfully, "Why?"

"I graduate at the end of the year. I was thinking of applying to community college or something."

"That's great!" Blaine says encouragingly, rubbing his hands up and down Kurt's arms before realising what Kurt's getting at, "Oh. You…you think I'm going to leave you. When I graduate," he guesses.

"I know it's silly. I mean we've only been together for a week and I'm already worried about the future, I'm not a crazy stalker I promise. It's just I've finally found someone who really knows me and actually cares about me and it sucks that you'll leave eventually," Kurt says sadly but the look on his face suggests that he's accepted this fact, that his only happiness is fleeting.

"Kurt, that's, like way into the future. I don't even know what I'm doing next week, forget college!" he says, attempting humour but Kurt doesn't laugh.

"But you will leave," he presses, continuing when Blaine begins to protest, "and don't you dare say you'll stay just for me. It's not that I'm upset about you leaving I guess I'm just frustrated that I can't go with you."

"Why can't you?" Blaine asks.

"I just can't. I can't leave my dad and there're all sorts of risks and…I just…"

"Can't," Blaine finishes, eyes vacant.

"Exactly."

"Well there's no use fretting about it now," Blaine says, trying to push the bad thoughts away, "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it okay?"

Kurt nods.

"Okay,"

"What do you want to study at college?" Blaine asks, wanting to know every detail of Kurt's plans and dreams. He pictures Kurt graduating in his cap and gown, him attending his first class at college, laden with books and pens, making friends, living life. The fantasy makes him smile.

"I don't know yet, maybe English Lit. I guess I've always been good at that."

"No," Blaine says, sensing that it's not where Kurt's heart is, "What do you _want_ to study?"

"I…" Kurt falters, understanding Blaine's meaning, "It's silly." He shifts his weight slightly, moving to his side and Blaine follows so they're looking at one another.

"Please?" Blaine begs.

"It doesn't matter, it won't happen," Kurt argues back but Blaine is persistent. "I guess I've always wanted to study musical theatre. I just love that sort of thing, you know? But I have to stay hidden. I mean who knows what sort of costumes they'll want to put me in if I went into something like that? There's no way."

The worst thing is Blaine understands. Every time Kurt mentions something he can't do, Blaine just wants to tell him he can, that he can do anything he sets his mind to but Kurt is so oppressed he isn't even able to _try_ and follow his dreams. All Blaine wants is to make everything better and it crushes him that he can't.

"Why do we always end up talking about sad things?" Kurt asks with a sigh. Blaine shrugs, he honestly doesn't know. Maybe because Kurt has been dealt more than his fair share of things to be sad about.

"You can live out my dreams for me," Kurt tells him with determination, "You can go to a fancy college, study music, be in glee –"

"You can be in glee!" Blaine tells him, eyes lighting up as he remembers what Rachel had said before. "You might have to give up a lot of things because of what you are, Kurt, but glee is something you can do!" he says excitedly as a plan forms.

"I've already been down that road," Kurt reminds him grimly, "it's just another dead end for me."

"No," Blaine says, pushing gently at Kurt's shoulders as they both sit up. "I talked to Rachel today," he ignores the way Kurt's face darkens," and the whole club really wants you back, Mr Schuester said you don't have to compete or even sing if you're not comfortable. Apparently they really miss you. And I'll be there to make sure they don't force you into anything." Kurt seems to consider this for a few moments before screwing his eyes closed with a shake of his head.

"I don't know," he says slowly

"It'll mean we get to spend more time together…" Blaine says teasingly, causing Kurt to smile involuntarily.

"Well you are my kryptonite," Kurt admits while Blaine gives him his best puppy eyes. "Okay!" he relents with a whine and then Blaine is hugging him tightly. "But you owe me!"

"I'll pay you back with kisses," Blaine promises to which Kurt agrees readily.

"Starting now?"

"Starting now," Blaine assures with a firm press of his mouth against Kurt's.


	6. Chapter 6

The locker room is bustling when Blaine arrives for gym, tossing his bag on the bench and keeping his eyes focused on the floor. He's always been wary of the boys' locker room. People know that he's gay, it isn't exactly a secret and the only logical assumption that most teenage boys with skulls thicker than bricks seem to be able to make is that Blaine _must_ be into them. He's had his fair share of shoves and threats but after being at McKinley for a little over three months and having made friends with the guys from glee, the jocks seem to have backed off him a little. Blaine would like for it to stay that way so he keeps his head down, tries not to provoke anyone , and makes it as obvious as possible that he's not checking any of them out. Why he should be the one to make such an effort, Blaine has no idea.

After changing, Blaine tosses his clothes into his gym locker and pulls on his beanie, ready for the great outdoors before turning around and jolting at the sight before him. Kurt is stood, holding a small pile of clothes and looking utterly terrified.

"Help me," he begs, voice wavering.

"What are you doing in here?" Blaine asks. Kurt doesn't ever participate in gym, understandably.

"Coach Beiste cornered me. She's been insisting I actually show up for class and my dad usually requests that I be excused but she won't have it any more. She tossed me these," Kurt holds up the red and black McKinley High Phys. Ed. shorts and T shirt "I think they're from the lost and found which is _disgusting_ and she actually expects me to put them on and go out there, Blaine, _what do I do_?!" Kurt is close to hyperventilating at this stage.

"Okay, Okay, calm down, there's got to be some way out of this."

"She's standing guard by the door. If I try to leave she'll catch me."

"Okay, um…" Blaine teases his lip between his teeth as he thinks, considers all of their options, limited as they are. Giving in is not a choice they can make, Kurt's life could actually be at stake. It hits Blaine just how serious a problem this is, as trivial as it may appear to those who don't _know_.

"Okay," Blaine repeats as an idea forms, he turns back to his locker and grabs his hoodie. "Come with me." Blaine leads Kurt to one of the toilet cubicles. Kurt enters and after glancing over his shoulder to ensure that no one is looking, Blaine slips inside too. Who knows what they'd assume if people saw them.

"Get changed, quick." Blaine commands, aware that they don't have much time. Kurt doesn't move a muscle as he flushes red and gives Blaine an exasperated look.

"Oh, uh, sorry." Blaine turns so his back is to Kurt while he speedily changes out of his many layers and into the thin, red cotton T shirt and black shorts.

"Blaine, there's no way in hell that I can go out there like this!" Kurt exclaims. Blaine turns back to face Kurt, seeing him looking utterly distraught. His tail is poking out through the waistband of his shorts, swishing helplessly from side to side.

"Take your hat off."

"How is that supposed to help?!" Kurt exclaims, looking desperate.

"Trust me, okay." Kurt does as he's told, peeling his hat away and releasing his ears which are flattened against his head. He drops the hat on the floor on top of the rest of his clothes.

Blaine produces the thick McKinley hoodie he'd grabbed from his locker and pulls it over Kurt's head. Kurt's eyes widen in relief as he tucks his tail up into the baggy sweater, happy with how it's concealed. Next, Blaine takes the beanie off his own head and places it over Kurt's. There are two lumps where Kurt's ears stick up just a little against the wool but nothing drastically noticeable.

"It should be cold enough out there to justify these ," Blaine says, eyes scanning over Kurt to make sure everything is neatly hidden, before declaring himself satisfied with his work. Kurt leaps forward, throwing his arms around Blaine.

"Thank you," he whispers before pulling away to pick up his clothes.

"I don't know what I would have done with you.

* * *

"I. Hate. Track and Field." Kurt grumbles when they're finally in the warmth of the locker room once more.

"It wasn't so bad," Blaine comments, still panting from having to run more laps than he can count. Kurt drops heavily onto the bench and lets his head falls back against the lockers behind him.

"At least that should satisfy Coach Beiste for now." Kurt says with a little more optimism. "Thank you," he adds, smiling exhaustedly at Blaine.

"You should get changed," Blaine says, handing Kurt a can of deodorant. "Don't want to be late for glee!"

Kurt groans as he hangs his head between his knees.

"Can't I just go home and die instead?" he mumbles to the ground.

After much complaint over the fact that he can't shower and get the stench of sweat and lost and found clothes off him, Blaine finally manages to drag Kurt away from the locker room, something he never thought would be necessary.

"You'll sit next to me the whole time?" Kurt asks as they stand outside the choir room. The last period ended ten minutes ago and it's taken this long for Kurt to build up the courage to get this far.

"Of course," Blaine reassures, offering his hand for Kurt to take. It's more than the amount of affection they usually display at school but Blaine is certain that in the choir room things will be a little easier for them.

Kurt lets out a nervous huff before taking his bottom lip between his teeth.

"Okay," he says with a shaky smile and a brief nod before Blaine leads him into the room.

The rest of the club have already and arrived and are seated when Tina notices the two enter the room.

"Kurt!" she exclaims, immediately rising from her seat to rush over, Rachel, Artie, Finn and Mercedes not far behind while the rest of the club look at the scene with confusion. Blaine sees Rachel shoot him an appreciative smile as he feels Kurt tense beside him.

"It's good to see you again, Kurt!" Mr Schuester remarks from where he leans against the piano.

"Are you coming back? Tina asks.

"Please? We missed you!" Rachel confesses before enveloping Kurt in a hug. Kurt's hand trembles where it's still clasped tightly in Blaine's. He squeezes it just a little for reassurance.

"Hey, come on guys. Give him some space, okay? You promised not to pressure him into anything," Blaine warns, putting himself between Kurt and the others after Rachel releases her hold. "He's just going to sit and watch."

Blaine can see that Rachel is trying her best not to look too crestfallen but nonetheless she is insistent on leading Kurt to the risers, placing him in a seat in the front row. Blaine is quick to follow, taking the seat beside Kurt who seems lost in the whirlwind of people. He looks about the room nervously and his hand instinctively flies towards his hat, ensuring it's firmly in place before he relaxes just a fraction.

"This is the perfect opportunity for me to show you all what Finn and I have been working on and perhaps encourage Kurt to rejoin our group. Mr Schue, if we may?" Mr Schuester gestures to the open space in front of the rest of the club, giving Rachel the floor as Finn takes a seat at the drum kit.

 

> _The power of love is a curious thing_   
>  _Make a one man weep, make another man sing_   
>  _Change a hawk to a little white dove_   
>  _More than a feeling that's the power of love_

Blaine isn't sure what on earth made Rachel think that her and Finn singing The Power of Love as a duet would be something to entice Kurt into joining again. Although it's cringe worthy, it is, however, a good performance and one of the many aspects of glee club that Blaine adores is getting to watch so many talented singers perform. He's not sure he's witnessed a performance he didn't like since joining the New Directions.

Throughout their performance, Blaine continues to sneak glances at Kurt, determining his opinion based on his expression. The grimace he seems to be sporting suggests that maybe he isn't enjoying it so much but Blaine puts it down to him being nervous. The love sick glances Rachel and Finn send each other across the room can't be that painful to watch.

 _Maybe they are just a little_ , Blaine justifies as Rachel dramatically throws her head to side before plunging into the next verse. Kurt actually winces beside him.

As the song comes to a close, Blaine takes his arm back from where it had been placed over Kurt's shoulder to applaud. Seeing everyone else in the room clapping, Kurt joins in, tapping his fingers together gently while looking ever so slightly impressed. Blaine smiles when he sees Kurt's reaction. It wasn't that bad, in fact, Rachel had sounded amazing she just has a tendency to dramatize everything. The song was good and it seems Kurt appreciates that much.

"That was great guys!" Mr Schuester says, clapping his hands together loudly as Finn and Rachel return to their seats, "Not exactly what we're looking to do for sectionals but we definitely need that sort of passion!"

They spend the rest of the afternoon going over ideas for Sectionals and tossing about snippets of choreography to practise. Blaine makes sure to stay by Kurt as much as he can but as the afternoon drags on, he sees that Kurt just looks bored. His chest sinks at the realisation because why wouldn't he be? Dance rehearsals are boring enough for the people participating so it must be torture to have to sit and watch them. If it wasn't for the clock on the wall displaying the fact that it has only been an hour, Blaine would swear that they'd been rehearsing for twice as long by the time they finally wrap up for the day.

"So that looked fun," Kurt says optimistically as they leave the choir room together. Blaine regards him with caution as he expects a sarcastic remark to follow.

"Kurt, you don't have to lie to me," Blaine says gently, "I could tell you were bored out of your mind."

"What?!" Kurt asks and Blaine could swear that he was genuinely shocked. Blaine frowns as Blaine stops in the middle of the hallway.

"It's okay," he says, "I won't drag you along to any more. I just thought you might enjoy yourself."

"I _did_!" Kurt persists. "I did have a good time, I promise. I just…I guess I got a little jealous. I wanted so bad to just join in."

"Well you could have," Blaine says without thinking. It's not until he sees the look Kurt gives him that he realises that it wouldn't have been possible. It would be pointless for Kurt to join in their rehearsals for sectionals when he wouldn't even be able to compete with them. "Well you can still sing. Like Rachel and Finn did today, just get up and sing a song."

"You know, not all of the world's problems can be fixed by just singing about them," Kurt states as they begin walking again. There's hardly anyone still left in school so the boys allow their hands to tangle together and swing between them.

"I know," Blaine replies, "but it sure does make you feel better. It's cathartic." Kurt's lips twitch in a brief grin.

"Maybe you're right. Perhaps I'll try it out some time."

"You won't regret it," Blaine says as they make it to the parking lot and head towards Blaine's car. They usually end up at Blaine's house after school so they'd taken to giving each other rides to and from school most days.

"Let's go to my house today," Kurt suggests. Blaine stops at his car, looking to Kurt with confusion. He hasn't set foot in Kurt's home since the first time, when he had first met Kurt's father and had to sit through possibly the world's most awkward dinner. It's a known fact to both boys that Kurt's dad does not like Blaine in the slightest, it's almost something that Blaine has learned to just accept and the thought of going there now, when he could potentially have another chance encounter with him gets his stomach turning in anxiety. At Blaine's look of unease, Kurt continues. "I haven't forgotten what you did for me today in gym," he says, "and, Blaine, My dad is everything to me. I just…I really, _really_ would like for him to get to know you. I think if he knew what you did for me today, how you've already helped me so much then maybe he might see that you're actually an amazing person."

"How do you know he'll even give me the time of day?" Blaine asks warily. Of course he would love to make things right between Kurt's dad and himself but he's not sure exactly how easy that's going to be.

"I'll make him listen," Kurt promises, thoroughly checking that no one else is nearby before giving Blaine a quick kiss on the lips.

* * *

"You should have seen him today, dad!" Kurt exclaims later that afternoon. When Mr Hummel had arrived home, he looked more than displeased to see Blaine accompanying Kurt on the sofa as they watched mindless television. The look Blaine had received was one he knew well, sheer disapproval that had him sinking into the seat, wanting nothing more than for it to eat him up. Thankfully Kurt was aware of the situation immediately and quickly came to Blaine's rescue, singing his praises and telling his father all about the good deeds Blaine has done for him.

"I mean it, he really saved me!" Kurt continues, "I was trapped, Coach Beiste was forcing me to change into second hand gym clothes, I had no way out!" Mr Hummel sits on the recliner, arms folded over his chest as he regards Kurt with a mixture of concern and anger. At this point, he doesn't even bother to give Blaine a second glance.

"You should have called me," he demands forcefully, "She can't forceyou to do anything. You should have called me straight away and I could have been there in a half hour to give her a piece of my mind."

"She _can_ force me, dad. She's a teacher and I have no excuse for skipping gym all the time. And I didn't have half an hour to wait for you! If it wasn't for Blaine's quick thinking, I might have been found out today." Hands clasped between his knees and back slouched, Blaine keeps his head down as the two argue.

Mr Hummel sighs heavily, running a thick hand down his face while his eyes clench in concern before opening again. They look weary.

"You know I worry about you constantly, Kurt," he says, looking blankly at the carpeted floor.

"Dad – "

"I hate you going to that school. Every day I wake up and think _What if today's the day? What if today is the day people find out?_ I hate that I can't be there to protect you like when you were little and your mom was still alive. I feel like I have no control any more. And I know you're all grown up now and you can take care of yourself, God knows how many times you've reminded me of that but I just can't stop worrying about you. And then you bring home this – this _Blaine_ kid," he nods his head in Blaine's direction; it's the most he's acknowledged him since he came home. Blaine twitches slightly at the mention of his name, like a needle piercing into his skin but he stays still, wanting to remain unnoticed. "You bring him home and I find out that somebody else knows? It terrifies me."

"I'm sorry, dad. But I just – "

"You know, I get it. I know how hard it is to lie to everyone, of course I do, I've been doing it since I met your mom. But you deserve friends, Kurt." Blaine lifts his head an inch, wanting to believe this could be the beginnings of approval but not quite daring to hope. "I've been thinking about it a lot and, you know having another pair of eyes I can trust to look out for you when I can't would lift a huge weight off my chest. The question is _can I_ trust him?" Leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees, Mr Hummel looks directly at Blaine whose jaw begins to quiver while his brain tries to conjure up a response.

"Of course you can trust him!" Kurt says excitedly. Mr Hummel holds a hand in front of Kurt before nodding towards Blaine again, keeping his eyes fixated on him until Blaine feels as though he could actually bore a hole through his skin.

"I wanna hear it from him."

Turning towards Blaine, Kurt gives him pointed look, one full of hope and anticipation. This is his chance, Blaine realises.

"I promised you before that I wouldn't tell anyone." Mr Hummel nods in remembrance, "I still fully intend to keep that promise. I fully understand that it's extremely important that Kurt's secret remains – well – secret. I'll do everything in my power, whatever I can to ensure he's safe at school, Mr Hummel, I give you my word. I really care about him and as his father, I respect you and I admire everything you've had to go through." For a moment Mr Hummel says nothing. Continuing to stare blankly at Blaine, Blaine becomes nervous that he'd said something wrong. Knowing it may not be the best choice to mention that he knows about Kurt's mother, he had remained vague on that part. Had Mr Hummel guessed that Blaine knew? Had Blaine overstepped?

"I think I owe you an apology, kid." Kurt's father eventually replies, causing Blaine's already erratic heartbeat to double in speed while he lets out a silent breath of relief, shoulder sagging slightly. "I was hard on you before, but you've got to understand that Kurt is my whole world."

"Of course."

"And if anything were to happen to him…"

"I understand. Completely. I'll be careful, we both will." Kurt nods in agreement and Mr Hummel does something Blaine has not yet seen. He smiles. And suddenly he is a completely different person. No longer is he the stern man who prevented Blaine from feeling at all comfortable whenever he would so much as pull up outside Kurt's house. Instead, he is a father, Kurt's father, a loving parents and an accepting one. Rising to his feet, he takes a step in Blaine's direction, clapping him on the shoulder as he passes.

"You seem like a good kid. Whatever you do, don't prove me wrong."


	7. Chapter 7

"Do you think I'm boring?" Kurt asks one night when they're at Blaine's. He's splayed out on Blaine's bed, legs crossed above him and tail snaked lazily beside him. Blaine raises an eyebrow at Kurt's question but doesn't falter in his improvised dance moves as his stereo blasts his favourite Roxy playlist.

"Are you actually insane?" he asks with a laugh, "Have you seen you? You are without a doubt the most interesting person I've ever had the pleasure of meeting."

"No, I mean…like. I don't know. I can't really do stuff. I'm just…boring," he says with a sigh, shoulders slumping.

"Hey, what's this about?" Blaine asks, kneeling on his bed and crawling over to where Kurt lays.

"I want to be…spontaneous and daring and reckless. I just want to break the rules, you know? But I can't. I mean I'd have to deal with a lot more than just getting grounded if I did." He sits up, so he and Blaine are level.

"What exactly did you have in mind?" Blaine asks, patting a comforting hand against Kurt's back and stroking gently.

"I don't…I don't know exactly. I mean I'm not about to climb a mountain or go bungee jumping or something like that. But I live so cautiously, so carefully and it's exhausting. I just want to _do_ something, something I've never done before without having to worry about, you know."

Blaine nods but says nothing. He can't give Kurt what he wants and it kills him.

"You're no good for me at all, Blaine Anderson," Kurt says with a resigned sigh but the smile lurking beneath is obvious. "Before I met you, I never felt like this, I was happy in my little cage, safe. But now, now I have a little bit more of an idea of what it's like and I just want to sneak out and go to parties and live my life!" Blaine bites his lip as he tries to come up with a response.

"I don't know anyone that's throwing a party," is what his brain comes up with. Kurt smiles fondly, pressing a kiss to Blaine's cheek.

"You don't have to try and fix everything, you know? I was just venting, I'm sorry."

"I wish I could," Blaine says before kissing Kurt eagerly on the lips. "I really do," he breathes onto Kurt's skin, arms sliding around Kurt, holding him close and stroking softly at the base of Kurt's tail, earning him a satisfied purr.

"Have you ever heard of a place called Scandals?" Kurt asks, voice barely above a whisper.

"The gay bar?" Kurt nods. "What about it?" Kurt smiles in response, raising an eyebrow suggestively. "You…want to go," Blaine guesses.

"I thought you'd never ask!" Kurt says flirtatiously.

"But we're underage," Blaine argues, feeling uneasy.

"I've been using fake IDs my whole life, I can get us some."

"But –" Blaine has run out of excuses and Kurt is looking at him so pleadingly that it breaks his heart just a little.

"Come on! We're both young, don't you think we should be trying these things? Being adventurous?" Kurt pushes, taking Blaine's hands in his own and squeezing excitedly.

"I just don't want you doing anything that could put you in danger," Blaine defends sadly. He's ready for Kurt to pull away, so when he feels the soft pressure of Kurt's lips against his own, he is certainly surprised.

"It's sweet that you want to protect me," Kurt says against Blaine's lips, "But I'll be fine. I really want us to do this. Together." Blaine purses his lips before finally pressing them against Kurt's one last time.

"Okay," he relents, "As long as you're sure."

That's how they find themselves at the entrance to Scandals a week later, Blaine nervously scanning his fake ID – which looks nothing like him – while Kurt bounces excitedly beside him, newsboy cap secure on his head.

"You're a lot more confident than the guy I first met in the locker room, you know," Blaine comments with amusement. Kurt pauses, eyes furrowing as he looks to Blaine.

"Is that bad?" he asks, suddenly insecure and Blaine curses himself for phrasing it the way he did.

"No, no!" he's quick to assure, "I love it, actually. You're definitely right, you need to be able to live your life and not be afraid to do the things you want to do. And now you're just so carefree and happy, it's nice to see you like this."

"As opposed to brooding, inward and miserable?"

"You weren't brooding!" Blaine argues with a smile which Kurt answers with a kiss.

"I owe a lot to you, by the way. I feel like I'm actually allowed to be happy for a change now that I have you." Blaine shakes his head in denial as Kurt slips his hand into his and pulls him into the entrance to the club. "Come on, I want to dance!"

Scandals is…well, it's nothing like Blaine expected. He can't say that he expected much, really. But he did at least expect more people their age. It's probably for the best that it's scarcely populated. It's too easy to get separated in a larger crowd, too easy for a hand to slip, for Kurt's hat to be knocked. One look at Kurt tells Blaine that he feels the same way.

Eighties music blasts from the jukebox, probably for the benefit of all the middle aged men in the place but Kurt and Blaine dance regardless. Kurt wraps his arms around Blaine's neck as they sway to the ballad. They're not the only ones on the dance floor, but no one else seems to have eyes for either of them.

"You know for a place called Scandals, it's not particularly…scandalous," Kurt points out and Blaine throws his head back with laughter.

After a few more songs, they head back to the bar, each taking a seat on one of the bar stools. They don't plan on getting drunk but one drink will be enough for Kurt to tick off his bucket list for tonight at least. They clink their bottles together, saying a quick cheers before taking their first sip.

"Bleugh," Kurt says with disgust, sticking his tongue at little, "I don't know how my dad can drink this stuff." Regardless of the look of distaste he gives the drink, he lifts the bottle for another mouthful, grimacing only a little this time as he lets the taste sit with him.

"I'm sure the bartender will be happy to make you some warm milk if you'd prefer," an unfamiliar voice says mockingly as he approaches the two. Kurt frowns at the stranger as he realises he was just insulted but the other's attention seems to be focused on Blaine.

"Sebastian Smythe," he says, extending a hand in greeting which Blaine shakes without even thinking. The guy is clearly well on his way to being quite drunk.

"Um, I'm Blaine and that's Kurt," Blaine introduces with a nod to his boyfriend.

"Uh huh," Sebastian says, without even a second glance in Kurt's direction. He's standing in between them so Kurt has only a view of the back of Sebastian's head.

"It's been a while since we've had some newbies, I'd love to give you a nice _warm welcome_ if you're up for it."

"He's taken," Kurt interrupts venomously. Sebastian finally turns to acknowledge him with a contempt smirk. It's clear he doesn't see Kurt as much of a challenge.

"Look, kid – "

"No you look. You can't just go up to someone and flirt with them while their boyfriend is sitting two feet away. What is _wrong_ with you?" Sebastian's smirk only agitates Kurt further as he scoffs in his direction.

"Ooh, Kitty's got claws," he remarks before turning his attention back to Blaine, leaving Kurt's face to lose all colour at the comment that hits too close to home. "Let me know when you ditch the gayface," he says with a wink before leaving them both.

"Well he was…interesting," Blaine comments lightly before he sees that Kurt isn't ready to just laugh him off. "Are you okay?"

"Just…I just," Kurt starts before looking up to Blaine, a dark look in his eyes. He slams the bottle of beer on the bar before grabbing Blaine's hand and leading him forcefully towards the bathroom.

Blaine never took Kurt for the jealous type but if the way he insists on plunging his tongue into Blaine's mouth in the club's dirty bathroom of all places tell him anything, it's that he was certainly wrong. Not that he's complaining.

"What are we doing?" Blaine mumbles, voice obscured by Kurt's lips against his.

"I'm marking my territory," Kurt says with determination as he licks the inside of Blaine mouth, leaving him weak at the knees. Blaine has to wonder if this is a cat thing or if Kurt is just incredibly possessive. Kurt pulls his mouth away from Blaine's so he can rub his face against the side of Blaine's neck. _Definitely a cat thing_ Blaine can't help but confirm as Kurt's purrs grow louder.

"I mean…" he pants, taking advantage of his lips being free from Kurt's for a moment "We're in a gay bar, we don't have to hide out in the bathroom if we want to kiss," Blaine says. Kurt pulls back and smirks in response. It's not like Sebastian's; it's not cocky or condescending but playful and flirty as Kurt dives in once more.

Feeling a tug on his wrist, Blaine allows Kurt to guide his hand up to rest on the back of his neck. Kurt's hair is impossible soft as the ends tickle his knuckles while he scratches insatiably at Kurt's neck. Kurt moans in a way Blaine has never heard him before and he can feel the noise go straight to his groin. They've only been dating for a few weeks and every part of Blaine' brain is wailing _too soon_ , but his body is telling a different sonnet of want and need and _Kurt_. His other hand rests on the small of Kurt's back and Blaine instinctively pulls him closer, thighs crashing and _oh_ Kurt is definitely sporting quite an erection as well.

Rubbing tenderly at Kurt's neck, Kurt moves his hand to cover Blaine's possessively before sliding it upwards, underneath his hat. Alarm bells ring throughout Blaine's head and he only just has enough will power to stop.

"We're in public," he reminds Kurt.

"Don't care, no one's here," Kurt mumbles back, eyes closed and lips stretched into a wide grin.

"But they could –"

"Blaine," Kurt drags pointedly, "the risk is half the fun. I just want to be adventurous for once!" Before Blaine can protest any more, Kurt is sliding Blaine's hand further beneath is hat until his fingers brush tentatively against his ears. The moment they come into contact, Kurt purrs so loudly that Blaine can feel it vibrate through his whole body. Impatiently, Kurt rips the hat away entirely, allowing Blaine to fist a handful of Kurt's hair, fingers scratching at his ears while Kurt whines and begs, kissing him with everything he's got. Blaine's too far gone now, any thought of their current whereabouts long gone from his mind. He'd always known that Kurt's ears were an incredibly sensitive spot for him but he hadn't made the connection that stroking them would do _this_ to him.

The door slams open before either of them hear anyone coming and Kurt can do nothing but freeze in Blaine's arms, too stunned to move a muscle. The guy from earlier – Sebastian – stands at the door, he's clearly drunk, who knows what he's poured down his throat since they spoke earlier. Spotting Kurt, his eyes grow wide, blinking several times as he wobbles in the doorway. Kurt is shaking and Blaine holds him protectively.

"Me-ow," Sebastian slurs with a smirk, eyes settling on Blaine and grinning appreciatively at his obvious hard on. "If I'd have known that's what you were into, well –"

"Get out Sebastian," Blaine demands shakily, leaving a quivering Kurt so he can push Sebastian back out of the door. "Now!"

In his much drunker state, Sebastian is thankfully a lot easier to get rid of this time around.

Kurt retrieves his hat from the floor, uncaring about the questionable stains on the bathroom tiles as he fixes it back on his head, still visibly shaken.

"I can't believe I was so stupid," he whispers, eyes wide, staring at the door where Sebastian had just left. "I can't- I can't believe I just did that. I don't know what came over me I just…" A tear rolls down his cheek and then, like a chain reaction, he's suddenly bawling, sinking down to the floor and burying his face between his knees. "I've ruined everything!" he sobs, shoulders shaking.

"It's okay, it's okay," Blaine assures, sinking to his knees to comfort Kurt. His whole body stills feels like it's on fire but he'll have to deal with that later, when he gets home. "He's so drunk he won't remember a thing by tomorrow okay," Blaine says. "I'm pretty sure he just thinks this is all some kinky roleplaying thing," he adds with a blush.

"What if he – "

"He won't," Blaine repeats forcefully. He doesn't know how but Blaine is sure this can't be it. It's crazy, the whole concept of _Kurt_ is crazy. "Who would he tell? The press? You think they'd believe him? He has no proof, they'd just think he was some crazy kid looking for attention and send him on his way. And that's if he actually does believe what he saw to be real in the morning. Kurt, I promise nothing will come of this."

"Okay," Kurt says after several deep breaths. "You're right. He's drunk. Okay." He still doesn't look entirely convinced but he's just a little calmer now. Blaine helps him to his feet, neither of them are particularly keen to stay.

* * *

The ride home is tense. Kurt says nothing and Blaine is still very much aware of the growing tightness in his lower regions from what he and Kurt had been forced to leave unfinished. There's isn't much to say anyway. It's obvious that Kurt is beating himself up internally for what happened and Blaine can't help but feel guilty too. He promised to protect Kurt and he failed that tonight by letting his body take control over his mind. Why did he have to be such a teenager with his stupid needs and hormones and a lack of self-control?

"Can you pull over?" Kurt asks quietly, eyes remaining ahead, focused on nothing. Blaine does a quick double take to Kurt before flashing his indicator and pulling over by the side of the road.

"Are you okay?" he asks, a sense of dread building rapidly, ready to break the dam walls inside him.

"I want to apologise. I put everything at risk tonight just for…well, for what exactly? I just wanted to be exciting and spontaneous and fun and I put my own life at risk because of it. Plus I went a little crazy with the whole _Marking My Territory_ thing. I promise I'm not usually that obsessive but that guy there tonight just hit all the wrong buttons." Kurt isn't crying any more, he seems a little surer of himself now and Blaine listens attentively. "My dad and I have left town before because of smaller incidents than this, uprooted everything and just left. But I don't want to leave again so there's no way I can tell him. I believe you. I don't think that Sebastian guy will do anything. But I'm just so…" he trails away before his emotions get the better of him, giving himself a few moments to compose himself once more. "I wanted tonight to be special. I guess I wanted to be your gay bar superstar."

"What?" Blaine says fondly, lips stretching into a smile. Kurt laughs despite himself.

"I know, it's stupid. Sometimes I just feel like I can't be enough for you. Like, I can't do regular boyfriend things with you because I have to be careful all the time," Kurt admits, growing serious again.

"Is that why you asked me if I thought you were boring the other day?" Kurt nods feebly. "Kurt, I think you're perfect just the way you are. I don't care about the stuff we can't do, my only concern is making sure you're safe from harm, it's a small price to pay, honestly. Besides, hooking up in a bathroom is kind of unhygienic, don't you think?" Kurt's laughing and Blaine feels his chest warm at seeing his smile again, the one that tells him that he's okay, content, happy despite recent events.

Leaning forward, Kurt kisses him soft and slow, lips tangling together blissfully in the darkness of Blaine's car.

"I don't want tonight to be a complete disaster," Kurt murmurs playfully. Blaine can feel his heartbeat in his throat as Kurt's hands trail down his torso. "We might as well finish what we started now that we know we won't be interrupted." Blaine's breath hitches as soon as he comes to the realisation of what Kurt's getting at.

"O-oh…you," he stammers, his body re alighting once again.

"Do you want to?" Kurt asks, just a hint of insecurity in his voice. Blaine nods feverishly.

"Only if you're sure," Blaine attempts but his words are lost in Kurt's mouth as he smacks their lips together again. He was wrong before, it's not at all too soon because he wants this and Kurt wants this and they both trust each other so how could be anything but right? Kurt's fingers dexterously unbutton Blaine's jeans, his body remembering exactly how it had felt not too long ago and the same feelings of want and need re-establish themselves. All too soon, Kurt's fingers are touching him and it's the most wonderful sensation Blaine is sure he's ever felt. He's touched himself plenty of times, but having someone else do it, trusting them to take care of you is a different feeling entirely. For one, Kurt's fingers feel a lot different to his own. Kurt's are soft and careful whereas Blaine tends to be impatient in his own administrations.

Humming slightly at the feelings of pleasure that swells through him, Blaine relaxes back, all tensions suddenly leaving him as Kurt's fingers delicately wrap themselves around his cock.

"Is this okay?" Kurt asks, his mouth is pressed against Blaine's cheek and he can feel Kurt's hot breath tickle his skin. Words failing him, Blaine nods as Kurt becomes just a little more confident in himself, his grip tightening just a fraction as he slowly moves his hand up and down. Blaine head falls back, hitting the head rest with a thud as jolts of electricity shoot through his body intensifying every time he remembers it's Kurt's hand doing this to him rather than his own.

"Mmmf," he mumbles, biting his lip to stop himself from crying out. Kurt's laughter is as clear as a bell in his ear, his head resting leisurely against Blaine's shoulder as his continues to rub and twist his fingers in a way that makes Blaine fall apart at the seams. It's just a little too dry and the friction ever so slightly too much, tears swell in Blaine's eyes at the intensity because only moments ago, he was driving them both home and he isn't sure if he can remember how they got to _this_ point. There's a softness against his neck and it takes a little longer than it should for Blaine to realise that Kurt is kissing him, sucking slightly but thankfully not hard enough to leave any marks. Hand pumping, Blaine resists the urge to thrust with each one and he finds his hips trembling while he sinks lower and lower into his seat. He knows he won't last long.

Kurt is whispering, Blaine can't make out most of what he's saying but he's able to decipher odd phrases, each one sending him closer and closer to the edge.

_"So hot," "You look so good," "Just let go."_

He had no idea Kurt could even talk like that but each syllable is like a lightning bolt, setting every nerve on fire.

He knows he probably looks wrecked, his chest is panting and his ribs ache from his stuttering breaths but the pain is secondary to the building pleasure of sheer indulgence. Kurt's face is buried in his neck and his own breaths are coming out shakily too. Leaning to the side, Blaine lets his head rest against Kurt's, discovering his hat has come askew, he nudges it off so he can nuzzle against Kurt's ears, basking in their softness as he kisses them tenderly. Everything is too much, Kurt's finger slides gracefully over the tip of his cock and Blaine can't prevent the moan from erupting from his chest. It's low and deep and he's sure he's never lost control this bad before. Kurt's hand pumps faster and faster until Blaine is sure he can't take anymore, he just needs release. It's building, he can feel it, like an elastic band just about to snap. Kurt purrs beside him and that's all it takes before Blaine is coming, crying out with pleasure as his panting turn into shaky groans.

It takes longer than he would have thought to recover, every time he feels like he's caught his breath enough to say something, his mind comes back blank.

"That…I…Kurt," he mumbles, unable to get a coherent thought across. "Wow," he manages, opening his eyes again to see Kurt smiling shyly while he wipes his hands with some tissues. The sight reminds Blaine of the uncomfortable stickiness in his pants. "Oh, ugh," he groans, looking down at himself. Kurt laughs.

"Here, let me," he offers, leaning over to Blaine once more to clean him up.

"You're the best," Blaine says. He's still a little out of breath but at least he's able to think straight now. Kurt grins in response. "Oh," Blaine says, suddenly realising, "You haven't…do you want me to… you?" Blaine says and it's a miracle Kurt is even able to understand him.

"No, no, it's okay. I think that's enough sexual escapades for now. I just…wanted to do that for you." Kurt says and Blaine leaves it. He's not going to push Kurt, especially not when it comes to sex.

"I love you," Blaine says in reply. It slips out and he doesn't realise he's said it until he has done. But once the words are out there, he realises that he truly does mean them. Daring a look towards Kurt, he finds his boyfriend smiling blissfully before his lips are upon his, kissing hungrily.

"I love you too," Kurt replies after pulling back a little and Blaine can _hear_ the smile in his voice.


	8. Chapter 8

Blaine starts spending more and more time at the Hummel household in the weeks that follow. Being around Mr Hummel – who's now happy for Blaine to refer to him as Burt – isn't half as intimidating as it had been before. In fact, Blaine almost feels as though Burt is happy for him to be there, like he wants him there. This is certainly something Blaine isn't used to feeling.

He feels at home at the Hummel's.

At home, Kurt doesn't have to hide. He lounges around the house in nothing but a t-shirt and sweatpants some weekends and Blaine discovers that he loves the look on his boyfriend as his tail swishes casually behind him.

He's begun spending his weekends at Kurt's more often than not now, Blaine realises as Kurt enters the living room, dressed in his sweats and a loose hoody while cradling a large bowl of popcorn. They slot back together as Kurt joins Blaine on the sofa and presses play on the movie, nestling into Blaine and pulling his legs under him. Kurt's purrs are soft and barely there as they stare at the screen yet Blaine can feel the gentle rumble as he lays his hand on Kurt's back affectionately. It's not until he unconsciously begins to rub small circles into Kurt's lower back that the purrs grow louder. Blaine realises when they're almost drowning out the sound of the television.

He looks to Kurt only to find his eyes closed and mouth open slightly. Blaine's heart pounds at just how adorable he looks and, smiling to himself, he continues to stroke with one hand while watching the movie. Kurt's purrs are interlaced with tiny snores as he falls into a deeper sleep. Blaine doesn't blame him; it has been a hard week. It's scary how many close calls Kurt has, how often he's an inch away from being discovered. On top of worrying about the scandal at Scandals, Blaine really needs to have a word with the glee club about giving Kurt his space. He certainly needs to tell Tina not to playfully try and steal people's head wear at least. Kurt had been more cautious than ever that week, barely talking to anyone and refusing to be less than a foot away from anyone at all times. It's like he had reverted back to his old self again and after the accident with Tina, Kurt was drained from being on full alert constantly.

The thing is, Blaine sounds like an overbearing father whenever he tries to seriously ask the glee club to be careful around Kurt. They don't understand, of course they don't. How are they supposed to know how much is at stake without telling them outright?

If Kurt was discovered during glee rehearsals then there'd be no one for Blaine to blame but himself. Kurt had been more than happy to bypass the club entirely until Blaine brought it up.

And Kurt had seemed so happy to be back in the club just a week ago. He had actually started to bond with the others again before he started pulling away once more, Blaine would almost go so far as to say he had begun to make friends. He was still guarded and more than a little wary but they had gotten to the stage where Kurt was able to smile and have real conversations with them. Occasionally, Blaine had seen Kurt interacting with Mercedes or Tina or even Rachel, he'd overheard snippets of their conversation and felt the swell of jubilation over the fact that Kurt was finally opening up and having normal interactions with other people.

Now he's back to square one.

Lost in his thoughts, Blaine doesn't realise that his hand has travelled lower, to the base of Kurt's tale. His lower back juts out slightly at the touch and Blaine drags his fingers delicately along the length of Kurt's tail. Kurt's purrs grow deafening which Blaine takes to mean that Kurt likes the touch. He smiles, suppressing his laugh so as not to wake his sleeping boyfriend. Sometimes he can't believe how lucky he is, that he's earned the trust of someone as special as Kurt.

Kurt begins kneading him in his sleep, something that he is prone to now. The familiar sensation quickly became as therapeutic for Blaine as it is for Kurt. His gentle fingers massage all of the tension out of Blaine's muscles until he feels like he could purr himself. As his fingers work, Kurt presses himself closer to Blaine who brings his hands to tickle Kurt's ears. He scratches tenderly and smiles when Kurt mewls slightly against his neck, the movie on the television long forgotten by the both of them. It's rare that Kurt actually meows, in fact Blaine has only heard Kurt do it while asleep as he is currently. He hasn't mentioned this fact to Kurt, he's unsure if he's even aware he does it at all. But every time he hears him make the noise, Blaine's toes curl up in delight.

The truth is, Blaine loves every one of Kurt's feline tendencies. He loves watching Kurt transform when he comes home from school. During the day, he is guarded, cautious, never letting anything through the thick barrier he surrounds himself with. But at home, when he's with Blaine, Kurt has no inhibitions. He is himself in every sense of the word and Blaine loves it.

Kurt sucks in a breath as he continues to purr before mumbling something unintelligible into Blaine's neck. He can feel his breath hot and moist and it's oddly comforting, like a reminder that he's here, he's home.

Tangling his fingers in Kurt's hair, Blaine leans his head down to rest against his as his eyes drift back the movie though it's just to keep his eyes occupied, he still doesn't pay much attention. Being there with Kurt is enough to satisfy him.

A clearing of a throat quickly brings Blaine out of his state of relax and he instantly snaps his head away from Kurt's turning to find Burt stood behind the sofa, arms crossed and an unimpressed look on his face. Blaine turns bright red upon seeing Kurt's father, snatching his hand away from the sleeping boy. Kurt blinks his eyes open in confusion before slumping back against Blaine obliviously.

Blaine is just about to start babbling apologies before Burt's stoic face breaks out into a fond smile with a slight shake of his head.

"Just keep it PG, okay, kid?" Blaine hastily nods before swallowing heavily. As Burt stalks back to the kitchen, he relaxes back into Kurt, who holds him protectively in his sleep. He can't help but feel as though Burt just…accepted him. Wholly. They haven't exactly come out as boyfriends yet, at least not in so many words but actions speak louder than words, right? If there was any doubt before, Blaine is certain by now that he _must_ know and his heart skips when he realises that what just happened really was acceptance from Kurt's dad of all people.

Blaine is revelling in this fact when he feels Kurt picking at his cardigan. He looks down to see Kurt's finger gently prying the material. Another quirk Kurt tends to have while sleeping is to sharpen his non-existent claws, his cat instincts are usually heightened while he's resting. Though his nails aren't particularly sharp, he can pick apart the threading easily enough and Blaine is wearing his favourite cardigan. Covering Kurt's hand with his own, Blaine gently pries Kurt's hands away, only for Kurt to latch on to next thing adequate enough to sink his claws into.

"Ow, ow, _ow!_ " Blaine hisses as Kurt's nails dig into his scalp, pulling his hair free from the gel he'd put in that morning. He pushes at Kurt's shoulders, gently at first then harder when Kurt's hold tightens. Finally, Kurt releases, falling back onto the sofa with Blaine following, falling on top of him. He wakes, lids heavy and eyes eerily dilated before slowly returning to normal.

"Was I…?" Kurt asks. Blaine nods in confirmation. " _Again_? I'm so sorry, Blaine," he mumbles miserably though Blaine smiles fondly, helping Kurt sit up.

"I should make you wear mittens," he jokes as Kurt settles back into Blaine's side.

* * *

"Alright," Mr Schue says, urging the group to form a huddle around him in the choir room once they've all finished readying themselves for their performance, "I don't think the other teams pose much of a threat to us tonight but, like good hosts, we'll show good showmanship and support them all the same." The group murmurs in agreement. They're competing against a group called The Unitards (which earned a snicker from Puck) and an all-boys group called The Warblers (which earned several gay jokes courtesy of Santana). "Great! I know we can do this guys!" The team cheered in agreement.

"Come on, we'd better take our seats before the first performance starts," Rachel announces as they slowly make their way to the door.

"Well don't you look handsome!" Kurt says, appearing seemingly from nowhere as Blaine is on his way out, causing his heart to do somersaults the moment he sees him.

"You made it!" Blaine exclaims, enveloping Kurt in a tight hug.

"If course I did! I'm an honorary member of this team aren't I?" Blaine smiles.

"If you were performing with us tonight, we would destroy the competition!" Blaine says happily as they finally pull away. Kurt fiddles with the lapel of Blaine's jacket and straightens his bow tie affectionately.

"Then I guess it's only fair that I sit this one out. Gotta give those other guys a chance, huh?" He says and if it wasn't for the slight waver in his voice, Blaine might have believed that he really was okay.

"I wish you could perform with us," he admits despite knowing it can't do much to help.

"Me too," Kurt replies, "but don't feel bad, Blaine, please. I got over this a long time ago. Now come on! Let's go see what you're up against," he says with determination as he leads Blaine out of the choir room to follow the others.

The lights are just dimming as they take their seats and the judges are introduced. Kurt fidgets animatedly in the seat beside Blaine.

"This is so exciting!" he whispers loudly, "I've never been to one of these before!"

"I wish I felt the same," Blaine says a little uncertainly. Now that he's here, all the confidence he had built up has suddenly abandoned him.

"Nervous?" Kurt questions and Blaine replies with quick nod.

"It's my first competition, and the whole club is kind of counting on me so…" he trails off, trusting Kurt fill in the blanks.

"They wouldn't have given you a solo part if they didn't think you could handle it," Kurt reassures him. Blaine sighs heavily, recomposing himself. It's not like him to be so nervous when it comes to performing, in fact that's when he's at his best.

Before they can say anything else, the first group is introduced and they begin their performance. Powerful voices fill the auditorium, inducing chills on every single member of the audience.

They're good. Better than anyone expected them to be but Blaine knows that if their own performance goes without a hitch then they'll have no problem beating them. Their vocals are incredible but the performance as a whole is just lacking that character the judges are looking for.

As they finish and take their bows, the New Directions are sure to give them a hearty applause, now just that little more confident about their own abilities.

_"And now, from Westerville, Ohio: The Dalton Academy Warblers!"_

The auditorium is filled with applause as a group of boys all wearing identical school uniforms take the stage.

Blaine's – and the rest of the New Direction's – first impression is that they seem relatively harmless.

That is until Blaine sees the apparent frontman of the group.

Kurt's hand finds his, slapping a little harder than necessary to gain his attention while his eyes remain glued reluctantly to the stage.

"Is that…?" he asks with disbelief.

"I think it is."

"What do we do?" Kurt asks, panic evident in his voice.

"What can we do? Besides pray he doesn't recognise us ,that is."

They're silenced by Mr Schue, shushing them as The Warblers start to sing an acapella version of Glad You Came. Blaine barely pays attention , casting brief looks at Kurt the whole time and realizing he isn't moving a muscle.

"Hey," Blaine whispers, taking a hold of his hand, "It'll be fine." Kurt nods frantically without tearing his gaze away from the stage and Blaine knows he isn't convinced.

They applaud half-heartedly at the end of the performance before hurrying away to prepare for their own. Kurt sticks by Blaine, clinging to his arm worriedly as The Warblers exit the stage and most of them pass by without a word as Rachel begins her vocal warm up. All except for one. It was foolish really to expect Sebastian not to recognise them

"Well, well, well, if it isn't Catman and Robin," Sebastian remarks, stopping before Kurt and Blaine with a smug expression painted upon his face. With his school uniform on, Blaine can't help but think he looks so much younger than he did at Scandals. "You two here to make another wonderful display for everyone? You know there's a stage right there, I'm sure you could get right on up there and start taking off each other's clothes. I know how you guys love your exhibitionism."

Kurt tugs Blaine's arm tighter to him and it's then he realises that Kurt is clinging to him out of possessiveness, not worry.

"You're vile," Kurt shoots back venomously.

"Well if you're not up for it then I certainly wouldn't say no," he turns to Blaine, "how about it?" Sebastian offers with a wink. Face turning bright red, Blaine stiffens as he says nothing in return. He's never had someone hit on him so obviously and crudely before, he isn't exactly experienced in handling this sort of situation.

"Blaine! Hurry up, we're on soon!" Rachel hisses as the others take their places.

"May the best club win," Sebastian says before leaving, Kurt's eyes follow him persistently until he's sure he's gone.

"Good luck!" Kurt finally says, throwing his arms around Blaine while clearly relieved that Sebastian is gone for now. "And make sure you beat _them_."

"Good luck kiss?" Blaine asks with his most charming smile. Kurt acquiesces with a soft peck on the lips before Blaine really does need to leave.

"You'll be great!"

* * *

Standing on stage to perform is, surprisingly, far less nerve racking than standing on stage to hear the results. The performance went without a hitch, and the feeling that rushed through Blaine as he danced relentlessly, forgetting there was even a crowd at all as the music flowed through his body, was unlike anything he'd ever experienced before. He'd always loved performing but this was by far the biggest crowd he had ever sung in front of before and he is certain that it is something he'll never get tired of.

Which is why it's so important that they win.

Scanning the crowd before him, Blaine's eyes easily seek out Kurt, who in turn blows him a kiss once he sees Blaine looking in his direction.

The judges are speaking and Blaine tries to pay attention. Names are called out by the order baffles him as he struggles to hear over the pounding of his own anxious heart.

Then there is cheering, Rachel is screaming by his side suddenly and Blaine registers the fact that they've actually won before joining in the celebrations.

It's possibly one of the proudest moments of Blaine's life so far.

Kurt is the first to greet him when they step off the stage after having been presented their trophy. Blaine doesn't even see him coming before his arms are wrapped around him tightly with a stream of "I knew you'd win!" and "I'm so proud!" being recited in his ear.

They're making their way back to the choir room when Sebastian appears yet again, hands in his pockets while looking- for some reason - arrogantly pleased with himself

"Congratulations," he says casually, with only a minimal hint in his tone that he's affected by their loss. Kurt goes rigid again, hand slipping into Blaine's to try and pull him away but there's something about his demeanour that bother Blaine. He can tell Sebastian isn't here solely to offer his congratulations.

"Thank you," Blaine replies coolly, refusing to take his gaze away from Sebastian.

"I hate to bother you," he says with uncharacteristic politeness, "I know you probably want to spend your time celebrating but I was just wondering…" he trails off surreptitiously, wanting to keep the suspense for as long as possible as he takes two steps forward closing the gap between them. Blaine fights the urge to step back, holding his ground confidently while the sense of foreboding grows in his stomach. Sebastian is smirking again, the expression almost a permanent feature on his angular face, as he leans forward before whispering. "When are you going to start making offers to buy my silence?"

Leaning back once more, he leaves the two both frozen to the spot, not before offering Blaine a wink and handing him a slip of paper. "Call me when you want to start talking, and when you do, you'd best hope I haven't already started."


	9. Chapter 9

"Kurt, please, calm down," Blaine urges as Kurt frantically paces Blaine's room, hand tangled in his hair as tears stream silently down his face.

"How do you expect me to stay calm, Blaine? Someone _knows_!" he snarls. Blaine tries not to take it personally but, coming from Kurt, the look still makes him uncomfortable.

"We don't know for certain that he does."

"What else could he be referring to? What else could he possible blackmail us with?" Kurt begs, voice rising considerably. Blaine stands from where he was perched on his bed to wrap his arms around Kurt, securing him in place to keep him from pacing any more. He needs to anchor him but more importantly, Blaine needs to anchor himself.

"It's going to be okay," he whispers.

"How can you say that when you don't know?" Kurt demands, pulling away from Blaine, leaving him feeling as hollow as a balloon and as though he's about to float away. In all honesty, he's just as terrified as Kurt is and he isn't sure how he's supposed to fix this if Kurt pulls away from him now. "You promised me that everything would be alright after that night in Scandals but guess what? It isn't alright and I'm sick of your empty promises!" Blaine takes a step back, suddenly stunned by Kurt's outburst. Hands clamped over his mouth, as though forcing the words back in like they had never been said, Kurt's eyes tear up once more. Neither say a word and it's the longest silence they've had since arriving back from sectionals. The competition might as well have been weeks ago. Blaine sits back down on the bed, hands clasped and pressed between his knees as he avoids looking at Kurt. He can't explain why but he suddenly feels freezing, as though all the warmth left the room at once and was replaced only by doubt.

"Blaine…I didn't mean that, I'm so sorry." Sucking in a breath, Blaine nods shakily, biting his lip a little.

"It's okay," he whispers, despite feeling as though everything before him has shattered and he's trying to make sense of things through distorted pieces of broken glass. How did everything fall apart so quickly?

"No it's not." Kurt is on his knees at Blaine's feet, his eyes begging Blaine to look at him. "I love you, you have no idea how much you mean to me."

"I love you, too." Blaine lips flicker into a brief smile as his hand cups Kurt's cheek, thumb stroking away his teardrops.

"I'm just, I'm so _scared_. I don't want to be taken away and I don't want to be forced to leave here because of this. I don't want to lose you." Blaine wants to assure him that he won't, the words are on the tip of his tongue but it's just another promise he isn't certain he can keep. Despite trying to stay optimistic, there's no denying the lingering fear at the back of his mind that Sebastian could ruin everything. The more he thinks about it, the more Blaine is certain he'll go insane so, once again, he pushes the possibility to the deepest recesses of his mind. He needs to stay positive for both himself and Kurt.

"He…Sebastian said about buying his silence. So we just have to agree to whatever it is he wants and he'll keep this to himself.

Kurt groans as he lifts himself off the floor, hands flying once again to his head in dismay. "What?" Blaine asks, following Kurt. He doesn't touch this time.

"Are you really that blind?" Kurt asks, his tone isn't quite as malicious as before yet his words still pack a punch. "Sebastian wants _you_. He's going to ask for you in exchange for keeping silent, I know it, and you're going to say yes because all you're ever worried about is making sure I'm safe and then I'm going to be left all alone, I'll be alone all over again." It's a miracle Kurt is able to get his words out through his wretched sobs. His face is red and blotchy and the tears stream carelessly down his cheeks until his whole face is damp. Blaine pulls him into a hug, needing to feel the warmth of his body against his own. Nuzzling his nose into Kurt's shoulder, he lets his hand wander to Kurt's ears, stroking them comfortingly in the hope that it might calm him down.

"It might not come to that," Blaine says hopefully, unable to think of anything else to say.

"But you will, won't you? You'll agree to it?" Kurt's tone is indecipherable.

"I…Kurt…" Blaine stutters, the words just not coming to him. Kurt sobs into Blaine's shoulder at his absence of an answer. "Kurt your life comes before our relationship. You told me what would happen if you were found and the thought of that happening to you makes me want to throw up. I'll give Sebastian anything as long as your safety is ensured. But the thing is we don't know what he wants yet so there's no point getting upset." Kurt's grip tightens around Blaine's waist.

"I'm not mad at you. I know you'd only do this because you care about me. I'd do the same if it was the other way around but it still hurts. I wish it didn't have to come to this." Kurt murmurs as his hands begin to knead into Blaine's sides affectionately.

"We're just going to have to wait and see what happens." Blaine replies, as he lets Kurt's fingers comfort him. "I guess I should call Sebastian," he says after several minutes, suddenly feeling nauseous at the thought. He pulls away from Kurt, looking for his coat to retrieve the slip of paper with Sebastian's phone number scrawled on it. "He could do anything if we leave it too long."

Kurt finally sits as Blaine makes the phone call, hands pressed nervously to his mouth and eyes never straying from Blaine.

They arrange to meet at the Lima Bean the following day though Blaine hates to tarnish the very place he and Kurt had their first date with bad memories.

"Tomorrow," Kurt says absently as though calculating exactly how much time they have until their meeting with Sebastian; how much time they could have left together.

"Tomorrow we'll know what the future looks like for us," Blaine replies, hoping to sound a little more optimistic than he feels.

"At least we have tonight," Kurt says with a minute smile playing at his lips, the first Blaine has seen since Sebastian dropped that bombshell on them.

"Don't you need to get home?" Blaine asks, glancing to the clock and realising that's already 2:00am. Kurt shakes his head in reply.

"I told my dad before I left that I wouldn't be coming home tonight. I sort of had other plans for this evening." Blaine raises an eyebrow at Kurt's confession. "Although, we could still…if you want to. I mean it could be our last chance."

"Don't say it like that," Blaine says, joining Kurt on the bed. "Tonight isn't a goodbye, okay? We don't know what's going to happen." Kurt nods before mouthing back an "okay". Blaine kisses him, long and slow, feeling Kurt's purr slowly rise from his throat and being lulled into a sense of safety at the sound. As long as Kurt is still here, breathing and purring, then everything is okay.

It doesn't take long for them to abandon their clothes, left in only their underwear as Blaine kisses Kurt with a desperation he's never felt before. Their experiences with sex are limited and Blaine still feels a little awkward about the whole thing. He doesn't miss the way Kurt's eyes linger on his chest after he tosses his shirt away and he's surprised to find he isn't even the slightest bit self-conscious. Kurt mewls slightly at the sight before blushing as he hears the sound he just made but Blaine only smiles and kisses away his embarrassment.

"I love all of those little noises you make," he growls deeply, watching as Kurt's eyes widen, pupils dilating.

"Can you…" Kurt whimpers, biting down slightly on Blaine's lip.

"What?" Blaine breathes as he pushes into the kiss.

"Touch me?" Kurt whispers, probably through embarrassment but _God_ , Blaine thinks, Kurt honestly doesn't know how seductive he is. Blaine's response is little more than a desperate groan, muffled as he buries his face in the pillow next to Kurt's head, aware that his parents are asleep down the hall. "Blaine…please?" Kurt begs, bringing Blaine's attention to the fact that he has become painfully hard in his underwear but with a roll of his hips, he comes to the realisation that Kurt is in the same situation as he is. Hands shaking, Blaine cups Kurt through his underwear and feels his breath stop at the way Kurt's mouth hangs open and a strangled mewl escapes as his breath stutters.

Unable to control the urge, Blaine kisses him once more, needing to be as close as possible if not closer; needing to taste and touch and just _feel_. "Blaine…"

Remembering Kurt's original request, Blaine slips his fingers under the waistband of Kurt's underwear, tentatively touching and stroking until he brings himself to wrap his hands around Kurt's cock, rutting eagerly against Kurt's thigh to quench the ache inside him. It feels all too much and not enough at the same time. Kurt is tensing under his touch, eyes shut and lips parted while Blaine continues to kiss him breathless. Every mewl and moan is lost in Blaine's own mouth.

It doesn't take long for Kurt to come, whimpering softly as he does while burying his nose into Blaine's neck. Blaine continues to press himself against Kurt's thigh, insatiable for more friction. He's painfully hard and vaguely aware that maybe they should start buying lube for when they do this sort of thing but at the forefront of his mind is nothing but sheer need as his hips jerk frantically due to his oncoming orgasm.

Biting so hard onto his lip it bleeds, Blaine finally lets go, hips still jerking sporadically as his vision is blurred by stars.

Blaine cleans them both up, and they fall asleep together, naked and vulnerable under the sheets.

* * *

The first few seconds after Blaine wakes are pure bliss. Kurt is snuggled up against his side, purring gently, and Blaine can feel the soft fur of Kurt's tail against his leg. His body aches but in that satisfying way that makes the exhaustion worth it. It only takes a few short moments for reality to hit.

Everything is up in the air at the moment. They're neither safe nor in immediate danger for the time being and the uncertainty of everything is enough to drive Blaine insane. He doesn't want to believe that Sebastian could be so evil as to ask for _him_ but every judgement he's made about him so far has turned out to be false.

The second thing he realises is that they just…fell asleep. Blaine looks to the side to see Kurt's head poking out from underneath the covers, ears twitching gently in his sleep. His bedroom door doesn't have a lock, his parents could have walked in on them easily.

 _God we really are getting careless_ , Blaine thinks with dread.

Rising from bed, Blaine decides that there's no use delaying the inevitable. As he swings his legs out from under the covers, a strong yet elegant hand clasps around his arm, gripping with a sense of urgency and need.

Kurt is awake.

"Don't leave," he begs in a voice that can barely be described as a whisper. His words gently nudge Blaine back down, sinking into the bed and wondering why he ever even considered leaving. "I'm just…I'm not ready to start today. Not yet." Blaine nods against the pillow, scooting closer to Kurt as they reacquaint their bodies, limbs tangling and warm breath mixing. Blaine is only half aware of the fact that they are both still very naked but he can't bring himself to care as long as he's in Kurt's comforting embrace.

"It'll be okay," Blaine says softly, out of habit more than anything else.

Kurt's gazing at him, face unreadable before he smiles tentatively.

"Okay," he finally says, "I believe you."

* * *

The Lima Bean is crowded as usual and the sheer number of customers alone is enough to make Kurt uneasy. Blaine can tell as much by the way his fingers are clamped tightly by Kurt's.

After ordering their drinks, Blaine leads them to a table at the far end of the shop, surprised they even managed to find a table at all. Not a word is said between them. Over the past 12 hours they have been negative, positive, hopeful and in denial. There's nothing else that needs to be said regarding the situation and Blaine fears that anything else he says at this point might end up sounding like goodbye. He's certain that he's not ready for that.

"Good afternoon boys," Sebastian greets with the same false optimism he'd displayed the night before. "What?" he questions when Kurt and Blaine remain silent. "Not even a 'hello'? Come on, I thought we were friends!" Blaine's blood boils at Sebastian's cocky attitude and if he hadn't vowed to stay calm during this encounter, he's sure he would have shot back a retort by now. Kurt seems to have made no such promise to himself.

"I'll die before I ever consider you a friend," he sneers.

"Whoa, this one's feisty," he states with a chuckle. Blaine is surprised he doesn't have to hold Kurt back from an attack though the glare he's giving Sebastian could probably melt steel.

"Just tell us what you want, Sebastian," Blaine requests calmly.

"And spoil this beautiful suspense? I have you two in the palm of my hand right now." He takes his time looking over Blaine with a satisfied smirk painted on his face, eyes lingering in places they're not to permitted to. "So here's the deal. I know about your hybrid freak of a boyfriend," he says to Blaine, much to his annoyance as this involves Kurt as much as it involves him yet Sebastian only seems to have eyes for Blaine. "I know what he is, I know where he comes from and I know what happens to others like him. It looks to me like you don't actually own him because one, he's not wearing a cuff; two, it's clear he's able to go out in public; and three, you attend…probably one of the worst public schools in town. There's absolutely no way _you_ can afford one. So I have to wonder, where exactly did you come from," he says, finally addressing Kurt who replies with nothing but a disgusted look. "It's obvious that The Traders don't want you regular commoners finding out about hybrids and how they're treated, I'm sure they'd be thrilled to be informed that one seems to have slipped through their fingers." Blaine raises his brows, not letting any of Sebastian's insults affect him.

"So you are blackmailing us." Sebastian shrugs as he brings his cup to his lips.

"Call it what you want," he says after a measured sip of his own steaming latte.

"If you want Blaine, then you can't have him," Kurt interrupts, eyes burning with fiery intent. Blaine heart drops to his stomach as his eyes shoot towards Kurt. "I've been thinking about it," Kurt says in answer to his questioning look, "I can't let you do this."

"Kurt – " Blaine begins to argue but Sebastian is talking again and they fall silent. Blaine hates how he holds such control over them.

"Well there's no need to flatter yourself," he says with a grin. "Come on, I have this huge secret and you think I'm gonna waste it on a piece of ass I can't get anywhere? Although let's face it Blaine, you can do so much better than this little _sex toy_ and I wouldn't say no to a regular booty call."

"Don't you dare speak about him like that," Blaine snarls, fists clenched as Sebastian only grows more amused and Blaine's calm demeanour goes up in smoke. "Just tell as you what you want," he all but shouts and some of those on nearby tables pause to look at the scene.

"Blaine, calm down, please!" Kurt begs after realising that people are staring, arm circling Blaine's as his fingers slip into his tensed fists and stroke comfortingly.

"I honestly don't think you're in the position to be demanding anything from me," Sebastian comments, unaffected entirely by Blaine's outburst. "Either way I think I'll put you out of your misery. Long story short, I need to get into a decent college, and the only way to ensure that is with a national championship. The Warblers _will_ win."

"What, you want us to throw the competition? You're too late, we already beat you," Blaine reminds him, smiling smugly.

"Not exactly." The way Sebastian is so sure of himself put's Blaine on edge. He knows it's not going to be as simple as it seems "The New Directions will pull out of the competition so that the Warblers continue to Regionals, or I might accidentally let it slip that there's a Hybrid living free in Lima, Ohio."

"Deal," Blaine says, without even considering. If he's honest, it's a much preferable option to the worst case scenario Kurt had planted in his mind the night before. This he can deal with, this he can make happen and best of all, this way he and Kurt won't have to be separated.

"Blaine…" Kurt says sadly, it's clear he opposes but there's so much more at stake than a show choir competition and they both know it.

"Good to hear," Sebastian says heartily and Blaine suspects his smile might be genuine this time. Extending his hand, Sebastian makes to seal the deal and, after eyeing it wearily, Blaine reluctantly peels his hand away from Kurt's to shake. Though he feels considerably lighter now that they've assured Kurt's safety, there's still a stubborn churning in the pit of his stomach that refuses to budge.

"How are we going to get the glee club to withdraw from the competition?" Kurt asks hopelessly after they've left. They didn't exactly feel like staying for coffee with Sebastian and left promptly after the deal was made. "They're going to demand to know what's going on."

"We'll think of something," Blaine says, ignoring the expanding guilt he feels. "We have to, there's no other option. But, Kurt, we're going to have to be more careful in the future, this can't happen again. I can't risk losing you again," Blaine says earnestly. Kurt nods.

"I know, I'm so sorry this all my fault. I feel so terrible."

"No, hey, I wasn't blaming you, okay? We both need to work on this. We were just unlucky and got caught that one time."

"It's not going to happen again, trust me, I've learned my lesson. But…" They stop outside Blaine's car, just as Blaine is about to pull open the door for Kurt. "Would it be really selfish if I said that I'm glad it turned out this way? I mean now the glee club has to pay for our mistake but I'm not going to be ratted outand I get to keep you."

"I know, it sucks but…the alternative would be so much worse. This is by far the better option and if…if the others knew what was really going on, then I'm sure they'd think the same," Blaine assures him with an easy smile. Despite the guilt he does feel a little lighter now that things don't seem so hopeless.

"You think so?"

"I know so."


	10. Chapter 10

_The brand new parents gaze brokenly at their new-born son. Elizabeth lays exhausted on the sofa in her own living room, body weak and voice hoarse from screaming. She went through it with no drugs, no midwife and not a single doctor's appointment throughout the entire pregnancy. There was no way for her to see a doctor anyway, not without her being discovered._

_She had prayed every night for her baby to be healthy but, above everything, she prayed he or she would be human, but as her eyes settle on her baby for the first time, her heart breaks at the sight of two furry ears and a tiny tail._

_"It's a boy," her husband whispers, easing the pain only slightly. A boy! Just what they had hoped for. But a hybrid boy, a boy who will have to hide his entire life, a boy who can never truly live normally because of what he is. She begins to cry, her body convulsing as she holds the wailing child to her chest, promising to protect him. The pain she feels in her body is non-existent compared to the agony in her heart. She had hoped for a break in the clouds with the birth of her son, for maybe a brief intermission after everything she has been through but instead, her wretched Hybrid gene is alive in her son. She wants nothing more than to rip it out of him, to carve off his ears and sever his tail, make him normal, make him human. Violent thoughts cloud her mind and she doesn't realise how much she's shaking until she almost drops the boy. Burt takes him carefully as Elizabeth fully succumbs to her grief. Screaming and sobbing as loud as the baby._

* * *

_A little boy in a navy blue baseball cap trails besides his mother, her hand wrapped tightly around his own as he stares longingly at the park in the distance. His tiny feet struggle to keep up as his mother's pace seems to quicken as they pass the park. The little boy attempts to tug a little at the hand dragging him along but his mother's pace won't lessen._

_"Mommy…" he whines, wishing just for once he could play with the other children._

_"What's wrong, Kurt?" his mother asks, though she is not oblivious to his wishes. She finally stops walking and crouches down beside the little boy, making sure his back is to the park so he isn't distracted by the children playing. "Aren't you excited to help mommy with the groceries today?" she tucks a stray piece of hair back up inside his cap, checking that it's still safely secured. "We can even get ice cream if you want."_

_"Please, Mommy," he begs. She knows what he wants, how many times have they done this? Elizabeth feels awful every time she has to deny her son the simple pleasure of playing outdoors but children can be boisterous and every moment Kurt is out of her sight is a moment spent in agonising worry. If her baby boy was ever taken by those monsters, she's sure she wouldn't survive the grief._

_Kurt nods a little at the mention of ice cream before his mother takes his hand again and they walk away. Still watching the children in the distance as he walks by his mother's side, Kurt wonders if he'll ever be able to make friends._

_Kurt loves to watch television. Cartoons are his favourite. He sees characters of all shapes and sizes – even breeds – play and have adventures together. Kangaroos are friends with bears, humans are friends with dogs. Ludacris to adults but to a child it's all very plausible. Kurt knows he's different. His parents constantly assure him that he's special but he doesn't feel special at all. He feels like his mommy's best china, the plates she keeps on the top shelf above the cooker. Kurt doesn't think the plates are all that special, in fact, they're exactly the same as all the other plates! The only difference he can see is that the special plates have a prettier pattern on them but what he can't understand is why they can't use them if his mother loves them so much. If they used them then his mommy could smile every day in the same way she does when she takes them down from the shelf at Christmas._

_Kurt feels more like an outcast than anything else and, at the age of just six, all he wants is to be like the children on his TV and the kids he sees playing in the park when he passes. Like the children in his cartoons, he wants to go to school and talk about all the things he learns with his classmates. He wants to come home from school and impress his mother with how smart he's getting but he can't do that because she's the one who teaches him everything anyway. Most of all, he just wants to be normal._

* * *

_Kurt has only ever known two people and only two people have ever known him; his mother and his father. When that number drops to one on the most devastating day of his life, Kurt is certain he will never feel the same again. He'll never be happy again because how could he? His mother, the only person who looks like him, is gone. Before, he'd felt so alone and isolated because of what he is but after his mother's death he feels like a cast away living on a desert island, far, far away from anyone and everyone._

_That is until he is to start school. After spending his whole life wishing to go to school, Kurt finds himself dreading his first day. He just wants to make friends but the only people he's ever known are his parents, until today only two people in the world knew his name and now he's expected to have an entire school full of children know him, maybe speak to him, perhaps play with him. What if they don't like him? Or worse what if they find out about him and he and his daddy have to move again? They've already had to leave town once simply because the tip of Kurt's tail had been poking out of his clothes one day while they were out, they don't even know if anyone noticed but the risk was enough for Kurt's parents to pack their bags that night. Kurt doesn't want to leave Lima, he can't leave the last place his mommy lived in, he can't move to a new house without her._

_As Kurt walks through the hallways, he struggles to keep his breathing even. Never did he imagine there would be this many kids there. His father had given him strict instructions to not take his hat off for one second and not to get too near the other children. Kurt understands the orders, at nine years old, he has been told enough to know that very bad things would happen to him if people found out about his abnormalities. He knows that those bad things had happened to his mother before she escaped and he knows that he needs to keep himself secret._

_In class, Kurt is introduced to a room full of blank faces. Not one is introduced back to him and not one of them even speaks to him. The class is entirely disinterested in him and Kurt can't tell if this for the best or not. If no one speaks to him then it will be far easier to keep his secret but…all this time he had secretly hoped that maybe, for the first time in his life he might make a friend._

* * *

_Kurt has survived school for the last eight years. Not one person has even come close to finding out about him, even with all the bullying he'd endured, thankfully he'd made it this far alive._

_He'd briefly entertained the idea of being in glee club at the start of his sophomore year and for a while he thought that he had found a place he might be able to call home but, like every other attempt he'd made to fit in, the whole thing fell to pieces when the glee club director expected him to compete without a hat on to fit in with everyone else's costumes. Kurt quit before he could come to any sort of compromise with Mr Schuester._

_It was a foolish idea really._

_In the last eight years that he has been at school, he hasn't been able to fit in anywhere. He's different, he's a freak and piled on top of everything else that's wrong with him, he's gay too. Why would anyone want to know him?_

_This is exactly what he asks himself in the locker room one afternoon, hands clasped desperately around his ears as he begs the new kid – Blaine Anderson Kurt thinks his name is – to leave._

_But this boy is looking at him so earnestly and unlike anyone has ever looked at him before. He has an endearing curiosity and the fact that he thinks Kurt is merely concealing a bad haircut would make him laugh if he wasn't in such a dire situation. Instead he sneers to cover up his fear and as an attempt to make Blaine leave._

_Blaine is begging for Kurt to let him help and the way he says Kurt's name, like it's an honour to even be talking to him, leaves Kurt feeling breathless._

_"I want to_ be _your friend," Blaine admits after Kurt tries to assure him he's fine just the way he is. Not once has anyone ever uttered such words to him, Kurt is sure he's about to burst into tears if he doesn't leave soon. Maybe he could be Blaine's friend if he isn't what he is but even if that's true hypothetically, it does nothing to change his current situation. He's gay and very much aware of the fact that he's attracted to this boy but he knows he can't, that he can never, because that would mean telling someone his biggest secret. The secret that he's been keeping his entire life, exhausting himself with the burden of it until he feels like he's about to burst unless he shouts it from the rooftop and tells the whole world that he's not like them._

_Kurt doesn't want to think about what his mother would say if she knew what he had shown Blaine that day in the locker room._

* * *

"I'm sorry, _what_?" Rachel exclaims, rising from her seat after Mr Schuester delivers the bad news while Kurt and Blaine simultaneously shrink back into their own chairs. In the teacher's hand is a letter, The New Directions official resignation upon it. "Who would do this?" The rest of the club looks equally as shocked and defeated. Finn mostly looks confused, Puck angry and Tina is crying quietly besides a shocked Mike. Blaine knew he was going to feel indescribably guilty but never did he suspect it would be this bad. It feels as though his stomach is trying to claw its way out of him while he wishes more than anything that he could be swallowed up by a black hole. He and Kurt had decided it would be next to impossible to get the New Directions to willingly withdraw without explaining the whole story – something that was undeniably not an option – and instead wrote to the show choir officials themselves, forging Mr Schuester's signature and thus pulling The New Directions out of the competition. The whole thing felt horrifically traitorous and Blaine could barely look his friends in the eyes since.

"I think I have an idea who," Mr Schuester says in reply to Rachel's question, causing Blaine's heart to sink despite the fact that there's no reason for Mr Schuester to suspect him.

"Can't you contact the board and tell them that this is a mistake?" Finn begs sounding unsure and a little worried by Rachel's extreme outrage while eyeing her nervously.

Mr Schuester shrugs with a sad shake of his head.

"I tried, but there was nothing I could do. Once a club has resigned, that's it." Rachel slumps back into her seat, looking vacant and like someone has finally found her off-switch. The rest of the club sits in a stunned silence, entirely unprepared for the day's disaster while Blaine feels like he's about to be sick.

"Well, well, well, William," Coach Sylvester gloats as she strides into the room followed by two of her Cheerios. "Looks like I've finally destroyed the glee club once and for all! Principle Figgins just gave me the wonderful news and my Cheerios budget has been rightfully restored. I'll admit, I'm not entirely sure which of my evil plans managed to do the trick but a victory is a victory and your optimistic stench and woefully misguided students need to leave my new _Sue du Soleil_ practise room within the next ten seconds before I yank you away by your fingernails."

"So this is it then?" Tina asks quietly, "No more glee club?" The rest of the club look around helplessly as they are forced to their feet by Sue's Cheerios, stacking up the chairs from under them and piling everything of theirs haphazardly into boxed.

"You can't do this!" Puck yells furiously though no one takes notice.

"I'll figure something out," Mr Schuester promises before they are ushered out of the room aside from Santana and Brittany who reluctantly stay at Coach Sylvester's will. For a while everyone just stands there in shock. Finn comforts a distraught Rachel and nobody quite knows how exactly this happened nor what they are supposed to do now.

Blaine looks over to Kurt to see him looking a shade of white he's never seen on a human being before. As he reaches out to take his hand, Kurt pulls away, striding down the hall with his arms wrapped tightly around himself. Just as Blaine is about to follow, a buzzing in his pocket redirects his attention to his phone.

_Pleasure doing business with you._

So it's done. The New Directions are no longer competing and, by default, The Warblers will advance to regionals.

* * *

Blaine can't find Kurt since he left the group. After looking everywhere and trying his cell, Blaine decides he probably walked home, eventually driving himself home alone.

Blaine picks up him up for school the next day as usual, hoping he might be feeling a little better but Kurt barely says anything and the few chances Blaine gets to talk to him while at school he is met with a nothing but a guilty expression and one word answers.

He doesn't get much further with the glee club, a lot of them have already joined other extra-curricular activities and the rapidness of everything makes his head spin. While Finn, Mike and Puck still have football and Britt and Santana are on the Cheerios, a lot of them have very little outside of the club, so it makes sense that they rush to belong somewhere. Blaine supposes he'd be the same if he didn't have Kurt, though he shudders at the thought of what he would look like in a Cheerio's outfit like Tina and Mercedes.

He does feel a little lost without the club and the fact that his friends are paying Sebastian's price continues to bother him until he feels like he can't take it anymore.

At lunch, nobody says a word about glee club. In fact, nobody says a word at all. Everyone sits at their usual table, in their assortment of different uniforms while they wordlessly eat.

"What's up with Hummel?" Puck wonders, nodding towards the table at the far end of the cafeteria where Kurt sits alone. The sight sends Blaine back to the start of the year, when he'd watch Kurt from afar, before he'd plucked up the courage to talk to him, before Blaine knew a thing about why the other boy was always so solitary. So much has changed since then, he's seen Kurt laugh and smile and joke and not just with him. He'd come out of himself enough to be comfortable around the entire glee club, it was barely a stretch to say that they were friends.

"He's been really quiet since yesterday, I never knew glee club meant that much to him." Rachel supplies.

"I don't get it," Santana comments unkindly, "why would he care? He never competed with us anyway."

"Glee club isn't all about competing, Santana," Rachel bites back.

"Says the girl who gets every solo ever," Santana snarls. Blaine ignores the two bickering as he rises to his feet. He can't let Kurt eat alone.

"Hey," Blaine says as he approaches the table. Another wave of de-ja-vu hits him as he remembers the last time he did this. "Can I sit here?" Kurt looks up, smiling gently as he notices the resemblance too. He breathes a brief laugh before nodding, the sullen expression soon taking its place once more. "You okay?"

Kurt shakes his head, eyes trained on his barely touched food. "What's up?"

"I feel so guilty," he admits, his voice so quiet Blaine can barely hear him. "And I just can't be around them knowing that it's because of me that there's no more glee club."

"Well, glee club isn't over yet, Mr Schue is looking for a new place for us to rehearse," Blaine attempts but Kurt's mood refuses to shift. His shoulder drop as he gives Blaine a look that says _you know what I mean_ and Blaine lets it go.

"Kurt, we had no other choice,"

"I know, I know, I just can't stand feeling this way," Kurt admits, poking absently at his food, pushing it across the plate with no intentions of eating any of it.

"I know how you feel – "

"Blaine, no offense but I don't think you do. It was my secret that we were protecting and none of this would have even happened at all if I wasn't so stupid at Scandals and don't forget that the whole Scandals idea was mine, too. This is all my fault. I've never had so many people trust me like that before and I pay them back by betraying them." Blaine's eyes scan Kurt's face rapidly as he begins to break down, eyes welling up with tears and his breathing becoming erratic.

"Kurt – "

"I have to go," Kurt says abruptly, rising to his feet and abandoning his lunch and Blaine.

"Kurt!" Blaine calls, sighing when he doesn't look back.

After school, Blaine spots Kurt heading for the door. Slamming his locker shut, Blaine breaks out into a run after him.

"Where are you going?" he asks, having a feeling Kurt is going to walk home again which he's not about to let happen. It's at least an hour and a half walk.

Kurt says nothing as he steps outside, ignoring Blaine who is becoming more and more worried, Kurt has never been this unresponsive, even before they started talking, he'd at least acknowledge those around him.

"Kurt, _please_ let me drive you home!" When Kurt says nothing, Blaine resorts to grabbing his arm in an attempt to get him to stop. "What's wrong with you?" Blaine asks, immediately regretting it the moment the words leave his mouth because _shit_ , he didn't mean for it to sound like that. Kurt's eyes are hollow as he finally turns to face Blaine.

"There are a lot of things _wrong_ with me, Blaine, in case you hadn't noticed," he hisses.

"I'm sorry, just…why are you so upset? Is it because of glee club? This was for the best, remember…" Blaine attempts, trailing off when he notices Kurt is crying and the abrupt change in his mood catches Blaine off guard,

"I'm just…they were…and then I…but I can't…" Kurt babbles through his tears, breaking apart right before Blaine's eyes.

"Come on," Blaine urges softly, taking Kurt's hand and pulling him towards his car.

Kurt says nothing as Blaine drives and his heart pounds. He thought they were over this whole Sebastian situation but Kurt is still somehow deeply bothered by something. Blaine knows that he feels guilty for what happened to the glee club but Kurt has only really known them for a few weeks, how could he be _this_ affected?

Once back at Kurt's, Blaine rushes to Kurt as he gets out of the car. He's still crying softly and Blaine leads him to the front door. He can't leave him, not like this so, shutting the front door behind him, Blaine leads him downstairs to his bedroom. He's shaking in his arms and Blaine feels his chest tighten with anxiety.

"Do you want to tell me what's going on?" Blaine asks patiently once Kurt is seated on the bed, cringing inwardly when he realises how much like a parent he sounds. He doesn't mean to patronise Kurt, he just wishes he would tell him what's going on in his head. Kurt shrugs, remaining silent. Blaine takes a seat next to Kurt on the bed, arm wrapping protectively around Kurt's waist and ignoring the way he stiffens slightly at the touch.

He moves to take Kurt's hat off with his other hand, knowing how eager Kurt is to take it off at the end of the day but Kurt swats him away. Blaine sighs.

"I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what's going on, Kurt. I'm really worried about you. This isn't healthy."

"I was perfectly fine before…all of this," Kurt whispers, hanging his head and staring intently at the carpet as though it had offended him somehow.

"You mean…before Sebastian blackmailed us?" Blaine says, hoping he's right but knowing he isn't.

"No," Kurt says coldly, confirming Blaine's fears, "before everything, before…before you. I don't need friends, I don't need anyone because it just gets either me or them hurt. So what's the point?" Kurt's tone has lost all of its venom, now he just sounds defeated. "The glee club were the first people other than my parents to ever be nice to me. When I joined the first time, they actually wanted me around and for a short while I thought that maybe I could actually have friends! I could never play with the other kids when I was growing up and I didn't meet anyone my age until I started school when I was nine. But even then nobody wanted to know me, and my dad told me to be careful. I _hate_ that I'm like this, I hate what I am. If I was just _normal_ then maybe I could be friends with everyone in glee and be with you without any complications." In all honesty, Blaine had forgotten about Kurt being in glee club before. He assumed that Kurt only stayed for a few rehearsals before quitting, he never realised that he actually may have grown attached to them.

"But you already have all of that," Blaine tries, "the glee club are still your friends and…I'm yours for as long as you want me."

"No," Kurt sobs, "No, I betrayed the glee club. I'm not their friend."

"Kurt, it's just a stupid competition."

"But it's important to _them!_ " Kurt cries. "It's the one thing that brings them all together and I ruined it and I feel so awful I can't even be around them anymore."

Blaine bites his lip to stop himself from crying as Kurt spills his heart. His arm is still placed around Kurt's waist but he doesn't dare move it in case Kurt pushes him away again.

"I just want to be normal," Kurt says through shaky breaths, "I just wish I could walk outside without fearing for my life." Blaine is at a loss for words. He can't tell Kurt that it'll be okay because he doesn't know that. It's not like Kurt's condition will go away some day and as much as he wishes otherwise, he can't keep Kurt from harm all the time. Some things are just out of his control. The only thing he can do is be there for him. To love him and show him that someone cares even if it feels like nobody does or ever will.

"I love you, you know that?" Blaine whispers, wishing Kurt would look at him. He doesn't like the direction this conversation is heading in. "Just the way you are, I love you, Kurt. I love that you're different but…I also love that you're kind and a little stubborn sometimes but so, so compassionate. You move me, honestly you do, with how brave you are and how you face the world even though it might be dangerous. I just…I…" Blaine trails off, unable accurately translate his feelings into words without having time to pre-think them

"Blaine," Kurt says, finally looking at him with eyes a little softer than before, "I'm not breaking up with you," he assures and Blaine lets his muscles relax, not realising they had been so tense before.

"Thank God," he whimpers.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is that things were so much easier before. I didn't have to worry about anyone else but my dad and I, and I didn't have quite so much to lose. I'm sorry I've been avoiding you. I'm not used to feeling like this and I don't really know how to deal with it." Blaine smiles shakily as Kurt wraps his arms around him, enveloping him in his warm, familiar scent. Blaine clings to Kurt as though his life depends on it.

"I have to tell them," Kurt murmurs against Blaine. "I can't be friends with them knowing I did this."

"Kurt, don't, it'll just stir up trouble, they're happy to believe it was Sue" Blaine tries to argue but Kurt is resolute.

"I have to. Don't worry, I won't bring you into it but I can't face another day of school feeling like this." Kurt is looking at him with such determination that Blaine knows nothing he can say will change his mind. Closing his eyes, he sighs.

"Okay," Blaine relents, nodding slightly but still certain that this is a bad idea.


	11. Chapter 11

It's weird walking past the choir room now, Blaine thinks as he makes his way to the cafeteria where they're forced to relocate to. Mr Schuester had organised for the glee club to start rehearsing there and though they only get half the rehearsal time as they did before and the acoustics of the room can be atrocious, the lunch ladies thankfully don't mind them being noisy while they try and keep glee club alive. Without a budget, no longer can they stage their performances or have any sort of costumes but glee club is about the singing and that's what they hope to continue to do. The loss of sectionals is one they all feel, especially as unjustified as it is. The trophy was and still is rightfully theirs but, after their resignation, they are no longer in the running for regionals.

The band has thankfully agreed to stick around too and twice a week the mismatched group of teenagers still meet up to bond and share their love of music and performing.

When Blaine enters the cafeteria for their third rehearsal in their new location, he's surprised to hear only his own footsteps echo around the spacious hall instead of the usual chatter of his club mates.

Everyone sits in rigid silence, some upon the hard lunch room chairs, several perched on tables. Mr Schuester sits to the side and every single one of them is looking at Kurt standing before them.

Blaine's heart sinks, he'd managed to delay Kurt confessing so far, asking him to wait until they'd at least found a new place to practise so maybe they wouldn't be quite so angry, then convincing him to let them settle in first. Kurt has apparently decided that he has waited long enough and Blaine isn't sure if he can watch.

But then Kurt catches his eye and he smiles briefly, it's clear he's nervous but Kurt has assured Blaine time and time again that this is something that he simply has to do. Blaine gets it. His conscience has been about as clear as mud lately and he feels terrible about lying to his friends but he knows he isn't brave enough to stand in front of a room full of people who trust him and explain that he's the reason they can't compete at Regionals. His whole life, Blaine has tried and tried just to get people to like him, he's the one always eager to please others, ensuring their happiness before his own and to think that he has disappointed so many people makes him feel nauseous. There's no way Blaine can tell them what he did, not without explaining _everything_ in the hopes that maybe they'd understand and it goes without saying that he can't do that.

Blaine takes a seat between Artie and Rachel, dread welling up inside him.

"Okay, everyone's here now," Mr Schue says as Blaine sits, "What was it you wanted to announce, Kurt? Are you going to sing?"

"No," Kurt says, abruptly crushing any of the teacher's hope that he might finally sing for them once again. "I…uh…I have a confession to make." Blaine can hear how much he's shaking just through the tremor in his voice and he wants nothing more than to go to him offering comfort but he knows he can't. Not now. Biting his lip, Blaine leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees for support, his heart pounds as he watches his boyfriend willingly enter the lion enclosure.

Kurt is twisting his hands together in front of him, a habit Blaine has noticed him do when he's nervous or uncomfortable.

"The reason you guys aren't competing at Regionals any more isn't because of Coach Sylvester…It's because of m-me." There's a moment of silence as Kurt allows everyone to process the information. Blaine can see him scan the room anxiously, awaiting the outburst.

"What are you talking about?" Rachel speaks up quietly, asking the question on everybody's mind.

"I filled out the resignation form, forged Mr Schuester's signature and withdrew all of you from the competition," Kurt states and it can't get any more straight-forward than that.

"What the hell, dude?!" Puck shouts from one of the tables, fury creasing his face. "I thought you were one of us?" This sparks a riot of noise as everyone goes crazy, yelling accusations and slander while Kurt stands before them all and takes it.

"Guys!" Blaine hollers, managing to silence them for a moment, "let him speak."

Rachel's head whips to the side to give Blaine a suspicious look.

"Did you know about this?" she accuses, eyes alight with fury.

Blaine mouth quivers, he doesn't want to lie directly to her face and Kurt is standing up there all alone, facing the brunt of everyone's hatred. His hesitation, however, is long enough for Kurt to interrupt.

"Blaine had nothing to do with it. He had no idea," Kurt defends him.

"I just - I can't - I don't understand. Why would you do this to us, Kurt?" Rachel demands, turning her attention away from Blaine before he can say anything to deny what Kurt had said.

"I just want all of you to know that I am incredibly sorry, and I had no idea the consequences would be this bad," he admits, gesturing to the cafeteria where they are now forced to rehearse.

"But you knew what you were doing would get us pulled out of the competition," Quinn reminds everyone, scowling at Kurt's direction.

"Yes," he clarifies.

"But why, dude?" Finn asks, he's probably the calmest out of everyone but Blaine doesn't miss the look of betrayal on his face.

"I guess I was…" Blaine looks up as Kurt trails off, wondering how he'll explain this away. "I was jealous," Kurt says as a matter of fact. "I was jealous that you could all perform on stage together and that I couldn't." And there goes the final nail in the coffin.

"The only person stopping you from performing with us was you. We wanted you up there with us, we begged you to join again after you quit the first time. Clearly that was our mistake," Rachel huffs in disgust and Kurt hangs his head slightly in shame.

"We thought you were our friend," Tina says sadly.

"You're no better than Coach Sue, no you're worse." Artie snarls.

"Kurt, I…I don't know what to say," Mr Schue interjects silencing the teens, strangely calm as he stops everyone from talking over each other again. "I can't even begin to describe how angry I am, how we all are. I think you should leave, and I think I speak for everyone in this room when I say you can't be in this club anymore."

 _Not everyone_ Blaine thinks but doesn't say.

Kurt nods in understanding as he picks up his bag. Blaine makes to stand, but as Kurt passes he gives him a pointed look and after being with Kurt for just a couple of months, Blaine already knows what he means with a single look. _Stay, don't make it worse._

Reluctantly, Blaine slumps back into his seat, the rest of the club are none the wiser of their mute conversation while the cafeteria door closes loudly behind Kurt.

* * *

"Hey," Blaine greets the next day, placing his lunch tray on the table and taking a seat opposite Kurt who, predictably, had been sitting alone. He's wrapped up in a large hoody, as well as his usual hat and Blaine isn't surprised that he's being particularly guarded today in both his outfit and his demeanour.

"Hey," Kurt says quietly

"You feeling any better about…well, you know?" Blaine asks.

"In a weird way, I am," Kurt replies, nodding slightly with a flicker of a smile. "I mean, I had to tell them and I knew that they'd hate me. And now that they do it kind of feels like justice. I deserve this."

"Kurt you don't – " Blaine starts, ready to defend Kurt until his last breath even though his biggest enemy seems to be himself.

"And I think I'm done talking about it," he interrupts. "I just want to move on from this."

"Okay," Blaine says with a nod, letting it go.

It's hard watching Kurt stumble through school without a single friend again. Blaine is sure he's even more reserved than he was before he met him, after all the scares of being found out lately, Blaine doesn't blame him. Being near anyone at all is a risk, one that he has to make daily simply by coming to school. Now, without the guys in glee club to look out for him, the bullying is bound to make a reoccurrence. Some of the more ruthless jocks had backed off a little when Kurt had associated with the glee club, or, more specifically, with Puck, Mike and Finn. Gossip spreads fast though and it barely takes a day for the whole school to find out what Kurt did to the glee club and it's easy to make the connection that they are no longer what you would call friends.

Blaine sticks by his side as much as possible, refusing to let Kurt be alone where anyone could approach him and pick a fight if he can help it.

So Blaine isn't the least bit bemused when Rachel appears at his locker two days later with a stern look in her eye.

"You're still dating Kurt," she says. It's not a question.

I…" Blaine starts, mouth floundering open as he tries to remember how to speak. Before he can get another word out, however, Rachel slaps him on the arm forcefully, her brow creasing in disapproval.

"Blaine!" she exclaims as Blaine closes his locker door and turns to face her, knowing that calming her down will be a monumental task. "What is wrong with you?" she demands, slapping him again on the arm as he flinches away.

"You mean aside from the crazy girl who keeps hitting me?" he retorts, taking a step backwards as he rubs his sore arm.

"You know what I'm talking about," she scowls with an accusing finger pointing towards Blaine who takes several more nervous steps backwards while he's stalked by Rachel.

"Look, I don't know what you want me to say," Blaine says, making a turn and hurriedly walking towards his next class and, more importantly, away from Rachel. It's obvious that he and Kurt are still together and denying that fact to the glee club would be beyond pointless. Blaine only wishes he knew how to explain it away.

"I don't understand how you can even be near him after what he did to us."

"He made a mistake but I still care about him," Blaine says, trying to defend Kurt but as long as Rachel and the rest of glee club don't know the whole truth then showing his support for Kurt will be extremely difficult.

"A mistake? Blaine, he knew exactly what he was doing. He knew it would hurt us, okay. This is more than just a mistake and I want to know why you insist on defending him, you've only known him for, what? Three months? Clearly you can't trust him."

Blaine says nothing as he quickens his pace slightly though Rachel is persistent as she follows him.

"Blaine, just tell me what's going on!" she shouts, causing everyone's heads to turn to their direction. Blaine pauses, suddenly feeling very small under the gaze of people who are still mostly strangers to him. Ducking his head, he hurries off, silently begging Rachel not to follow him though his wishes remain unheard.

"Rachel, I can't tell you," Blaine says pleadingly, slowing down finally as he realises this hallway thankfully has much fewer students present, "please just leave it alone."

"How can you ask me to do that when my future has been jeopardized? I'm applying for NYADA if you remember," Rachel says with a scowl before confusion suddenly clouds her face. "Wait…you do know something, don't you?" A hand grabs at the sleeve of Blaine's cardigan, causing him to stop mid-step. "Blaine?" Rachel's voice is stern but the miniscule flutter in her tone makes Blaine feel like the worst person in existence.

"I…Rachel…"

"You _knew_ he was going to…?" Blaine sighs, Rachel's eyes finding his and silently begging for just one word of truth from him.

"Please don't hate me," Blaine begs instead of confirming her suspicions. It hadn't occurred to him until then just how much he really doesn't want the glee club to hate him. He's never had friends like them before, never have a group of people been so open and accepting and utterly indifferent to the fact that he's gay before. Being in glee club is like a breath of fresh air after years of being an outsider, always feeling inadequate while desperately trying to please people who simply didn't care.

Rachel says nothing, tearing her hand away like Blaine's sleeve had burned her, a damaged expression creasing her features. Blaine has seen an endless number of emotions cross her face while she performs, ranging from hopelessly in love to devastated and broken but this is far, far worse than anything he has seen on her before. This is real and he caused it.

"Rach-"

"Don't even talk to me," she interrupts but her voice is so lacklustre, there's none of the bravado or passion that she uses in her everyday speech. This is Rachel stripped bare.

"Please, just listen," Blaine urges, now the one chasing after her. "Rachel, yes, I did have something to do with this, a lot in fact. But there's so much going on right now, so much more than you know and I can't tell you what it is because it's not my story to tell. I feel absolutely awful about what happened and I wish it didn't have to come to that but believe me, please, we had no other choice." Rachel stops long enough to listen to what Blaine says.

The moment he finishes, she sighs heavily, dragging a hand tiredly over her face.

"You don't belong in glee club," she says after what feels like several days' worth of silence rather than several seconds', "either of you. We're about being united, about being there for each other no matter what. And if you feel like you can't share your problems with us, that's fine, it's your life. But don't drag us into your mess and then _lie_ about it. I mean Kurt admitted to it at least but _you_ …you're not the person I thought you were, Blaine." With that, it's clear Rachel has nothing left to say, nor is she willing to let Blaine explain himself further and she storms away.

Blaine bites his lips, never has he felt so disappointed in himself in his life.

* * *

"Are you okay?" Kurt asks that night. They're lying on Blaine's bed, a movie playing but neither of them particularly concerned with actually watching it. The only reason Blaine switched his television on was to eradicate the silence that he knew would otherwise occupy the air around them. Kurt is still sullen and quiet and Blaine is mulling over the fact that his first real friends now probably all hate him.

Kurt is nestled into his side, purring quietly despite his mood, reminding Blaine that he does still have one good thing left. He'd assured Kurt's safety at the cost of his friends and he would do it again if he had to.

"I'm fine," he says in answer to Kurt's question, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible and keeping his eyes glued to the screen.

"Then why didn't you go to glee rehearsal today?" Kurt counters, clearly aware that something is up.

"I…" Blaine starts despite having no idea what to say next. "I guess I'm not too popular with the glee club anymore either," he says with a shrug, as if that fact isn't burning a hole in his chest.

Kurt sits up abruptly.

"They know that you…?"

"Rachel was interrogating me, she was suspicious because we're still dating and I couldn't just lie to her face," Blaine explains, watching with dread as Kurt's face drops. The last thing he wants is to give Kurt more reasons to feel guilty.

"I'm so sor-"

"Don't," Blaine interrupts. "What's done is done. You said yourself that you're done talking about this whole mess so let's just put it behind us, okay?" he says softly. Kurt lets out a heavy sigh.

"They were your friends," he whispers.

"They were yours too. Before they were mine in fact," Blaine reminds him.

"I know but they always liked you better," Kurt says with a pout before snuggling against Blaine's chest, purring even louder than before. Blaine smiles, happy that Kurt seems to be at least a little bit more at ease now things are starting to look like they might be okay.

"Well now they hate us both equally," he says teasingly and, despite himself, Kurt giggles into Blaine's cardigan. Laughing about it may be the only way Blaine can overcome the guilt and grief at losing all of his friends.

School the next day is tense. Blaine tries his utmost to avoid eye contact with anyone but Kurt and the few times he passes anyone from glee club in the hallway, both his pace and heart rate increase exponentially. No one has said a word to him, but why would they? He betrayed them. Blaine's just glad they're not yelling at him.

Despite making such an effort to avoid eye contact, he does catch one or two glances throughout the day. In Calculus, Mike continues to look over his shoulder at Blaine, shooting indecipherable looks his way. Blaine has to bury himself in his work to avoid them and the sinking feeling in his stomach that follows. Losing everyone in glee club as a whole is something Blaine can deal with but when he gets down to remembering every individual member and his own relationship with each of them, that's when he really starts to ache. Without Mike, there's no one to throw paper balls at during class, no one to distract him from the dull void of boredom that is Mrs Hardy.

When the bell rings, Mike leaves without a word or even a second glance and Blaine tries not to think about how they would normally be walking out of class together, mimicking their teacher's astoundingly boring voice the moment they're out of earshot. Instead Blaine leaves the classroom alone.

He passes Kurt on his way to his next class, and they smile briefly to one another, as long as Kurt is there, Blaine can make it through the day.

The next few days are no different but Blaine has Kurt to keep him company when he feels like it's him against the world. Kurt's been there, he knows the isolating loneliness that comes with detaching oneself from everybody. This is nothing new for him.

It's like Kurt has accepted loneliness into his life like an old friend and something inside Blaine tells him Kurt long ago accepted the fact that this would be something he'd simply have to get used to.

It's a terrible shame that the glee club can no longer be a welcoming home for the two of them, especially for Kurt who so desperately needs some place where he can feel like he belongs but Blaine knows when the show is over, when there are no more curtain calls. The glee club is finished with them after their betrayal and that's a fact that won't change. It might not be characteristic of Blaine to give up but he certainly knows when he's not wanted and when to take a step back. More importantly, he knows where he's needed more urgently and that's with Kurt.


	12. Chapter 12

Kurt enters the cafeteria fifteen minutes later than usual, looking more than a little shaken up. The momentary relief Blaine feels at seeing him is overshadowed by dread at Kurt's tremulous demeanour as he takes a seat opposite Blaine.

"Kurt, oh my god, what happened?" he asks, fearing the answer as his mind conjures up the worst possible scenario.

"I'm fine," Kurt assures, sensing Blaine's immediate worry. "Just had a counselling session with Miss Pillsbury…"

Blaine raises an eyebrow.

"Okay?" he prompts, he had no idea Kurt was having counselling sessions.

"Mr Schue must have told her what happened. She wanted to talk to me about my 'insecurities'" he expands, highlighting the word with air quotes, "and why I always wear hats."

"Wow," Blaine says, "what did you say?" Kurt shrugs as he takes his lunch out from his bag, placing it in front of him on the table.

"I…I told her to top sticking her nose where it's not wanted," Kurt admits, cringing. "I panicked! I didn't know what to tell her! She seemed really worried about me, too, which is a lot more than I can say about Mr Schuester." Kurt sighs picking apart his sandwich but neglecting to actually take a bite. "I feel awful, I always liked her. I guess that's just one more bridge I've burned."

Blaine places a hand over Kurt's, stopping him from absently destroying his own lunch.

"It's just a few more months until you graduate," Blaine reminds him, squeezing Kurt's hand comfortingly as his fingers wrap around his, "then you can get out of this place and forget about all of these people." Kurt might not be planning on escaping Lima – he's made it clear enough that he needs to stay with his dad – but he can get out of McKinley at least and he can get away from the toxic atmosphere that is high school.

"Except you, of course," Kurt says with an easy smile which Blaine returns.

"Of course."

So they deal. Things aren't great but they carry on. Blaine spends his classes actually focusing on his work instead of laughing with his friends. He and Kurt eat lunch alone every day, and instead of glee rehearsals, they now have an extra hour to work on homework or simply be together. It still feels awkward when they pass anyone from glee in the hallways at school or, even worse, when there is accidental eye contact, but Blaine just brushes it off and tries his best to carry on with his life. He has Kurt. He has his purpose and that is to ensure that Kurt's secret remains safe.

"It's not healthy you know," his mother mentions one night at dinner several weeks later. "You spend all of your time with Kurt nowadays. When was the last time you even saw your friends?" Blaine shrugs as he shovels his dinner into his mouth, eager to get away from the impending conversation even if his father will scold him for his poor table manners. He hasn't told his parents what happened. He doesn't want them to know and thankfully Mr Schuester only gave them detention for what they did instead of getting their parents involved. "Mike hasn't been over for months and I know you haven't been going to glee club," she says in that motherly tone that screams 'what made you even think I wouldn't find out?' His dad thankfully says nothing on the matter.

"I'm not in glee club anymore," Blaine mumbles, avoiding his parents' gaze.

"What?" his mother exclaims, "but glee club was all you could talk about when you started at McKinley!" Blaine shrugs again, keeping his eyes trained on his food. "Blaine, we're just worried that you're spending too much time with Kurt."

"You just don't like the fact that I have a boyfriend," Blaine says sulkily. He knows that that's certainly not the case but he's deflecting because he _really_ doesn't want to have to lie to his parents.

"Blaine, don't be ridiculous, of that's not true," his mother says dismissively and Blaine feels bad for the comment. His parents do care and they're supportive in their own way. "Look, this happens all the time with kids your age. You find yourself in your first relationship and suddenly you end up abandoning all of your friends for them."

"That's not what this is, mom," Blaine argues, voice tired. It's not like losing all of his friends was his choice and the accusation stings a little.

"Then what?" she presses, "How come you're never with your friends? You're not getting bullied again, are you?" she asks, worry flashing across her face briefly.

"No, no. It's nothing like that," he assures before placing his knife and fork neatly on the plate, "everything's fine, mom. I promise." She regards him disbelievingly and Blaine manages to hold her gaze long enough to convince her to drop the subject. "Can I be excused?" he asks when she finally returns to her own dinner, "I have homework."

She hums in response, not looking his way as he takes his plate to the sink before rushing upstairs.

Kurt had to shake Miss Pillsbury's interrogations off with rudeness, isolating himself from yet another person whose only crime was being concerned about him. Blaine really doesn't want to have to resort to the same thing with his parents. Closing his door behind him, Blaine feels a little bitter about the whole thing. His mother hadn't shown much interest in his dating life before, and now when all Blaine wants is for her to leave him be, she suddenly becomes the concerned doting parent?

When Blaine used to picture his first boyfriend, he'd always imagined himself bringing him home to have dinner with his parents. Maybe his dad would take 10 minutes to actually get to know him and perhaps they'd talk about cars or something. Maybe his mom would give him second servings at the dinner table while his hypothetical boyfriend claimed to be full.

Instead, Kurt's first time meeting his parents had consisted of Blaine's mom telling him that it was impolite to wear hats indoors and all of the colour draining rapidly from Kurt's face as Blaine dragged him away.

But at the end of the day, Blaine knows they at least approve of Kurt and for that, he is thankful.

* * *

December soon rolls around. Blaine mother has thankfully dropped the issue about Blaine rarely (never) seeing his friends anymore. And the awkward tension that always seemed to be present whenever Blaine is in the same room with anyone from glee has also seemingly melted away though he isn't sure if this is for the best or not. Sure it's great that Blaine no longer enters a room with a black hole manifesting in the pit of his stomach but now they seem to have reached the point of no return. There's nothing anymore. They've forgotten about him and Kurt and moved on. They no longer send disgusted looks his way or go out of their way to avoid him. There's simply nothing there now at all. Blaine feels as though they might as well be strangers.

"So Christmas is coming up," Blaine mentions casually as he and Kurt sit in the Lima Bean together. It's rare that they go out any more. In fact, Kurt has been growing more and more distant over the past few months and Blaine can feel him slipping away from him. He hasn't had it easy, Blaine understands that Kurt feels guilty and he gets that he has his fears and insecurities but he just wishes that he wouldn't shut him out. If Blaine loses Kurt as well as everyone else, he's not sure how he would cope. He'll have truly lost everyone.

Though Kurt has been increasingly declining Blaine's suggestions that they go anywhere, the day is beautiful, the sky is a brilliant, bright blue and there's a light dusting of snow on the ground that somehow makes the dull town of Lima seem like a wonderland straight from a fairy-tale novel. That is, at least, until it melts away into slush, so Kurt had agreed to make the most of the beautiful day.

"How observant of you," Kurt replies though his voice is hollow. Blaine brushes his fingers against each other on the table, aching for some sort of response from his boyfriend.

"Our first." This at least causes Kurt's lips to flicker with a slight grin.

"Hopefully the first of many," he says. He's smiling but it looks just a little too distant for Blaine's liking. The way Kurt doesn't seem convinced that they will in fact have many more Christmases together makes him uneasy.

"So what's Christmas usually like for the Hummels?" Blaine asks, distracting himself from the dread he feels. Kurt shrugs and for a short moment Blaine's heart sinks, he's not sure if he'd struck a chord, or if Kurt has bad memories associated with Christmas. In fact, he feels like he doesn't know how to talk to Kurt at all anymore since most of his responses lately have been vague and distant. Blaine just feels helpless, like he's sinking, struggling for air while his (ex) friends – and now Kurt – sit back and watch.

"I don't know. Normal I guess," he says with a smile that Blaine is more than relieved to see when Kurt seems to have come across an old memory. "My dad and I each exchange one present on Christmas eve and watch crappy TV reruns. We usually don't have a huge dinner on Christmas day since it's just the two of us so my dad makes turkey sandwiches and I'll make some cranberry sauce then we watch Basketball together." Blaine raises an eyebrow.

"Basketball?"

"Okay, so he watches, I usually just read Vogue and torture myself by looking at all the outfits I'll never get to wear," Kurt admits with a drawn out sigh. Kurt's wardrobe consists of oversized shirts and hoodies big enough for him to conceal his tail without a noticeable bump. Even so, Kurt's natural affinity for colour and style coordination has him far better dressed than most of the male population at McKinley.

"Well, with your options as limited as they are, you certainly manage to look amazing every single day," Blaine says flirtatiously, eying Kurt with one of his killer grins that causes Kurt to actually smile in return, rather than just his lips going through motions of pretending to smile. He loves Kurt, that is undeniable, and he _knows_ Kurt loves him back. The problem lies not with Blaine or with their relationship. Whatever has Kurt acting so distant is something else entirely and Blaine feels like he's going to lose his mind unless he gets to the bottom of it. He loves Kurt but he's not sure how much longer he can do this, floundering in his feelings while Kurt becomes more and more removed from everything, barely even noticing just how much Blaine needs him.

Blaine lets his fingers gently stroke Kurt's, memorizing the feel of them against his own. Kurt had given him a short window of the person he really is, he supposes the mere thought of Christmas has that ability, but that window will be closed again by tomorrow. Everything seems perfect in that short moment, in that brief intermission from reality, but when Kurt begins to purr delicately for the first time in a few weeks, the rumble of it vibrating through Blaine's hand, Kurt pulls back like he had been burned. Covering his mouth as his eyes go wide and he looks frantically around them to see if anyone is close enough to have noticed.

"Can we go?" Kurt asks suddenly, sounding apologetic. Blaine nods, standing immediately as Kurt follows behind him, tossing their drinks in the trash.

* * *

"Open it!" Kurt says excitedly, bouncing on his bed a little as Blaine picks at the tape painstakingly carefully. "Blaine, we can afford more wrapping paper, you don't have to save it for next year," he says jokingly but Blaine can't help it, he's always preferred to open gifts carefully rather than tear into them, the anticipation is much better this way.

It's the day before Christmas Eve and also the last time Kurt and Blaine can see each other until after Christmas so they're using the opportunity to exchange gifts. Blaine is more than relieved to see that Kurt is at least a little happier once school lets out and Christmas is almost upon them.

"Come on!" Kurt begs as Blaine goes even slower on purpose and Kurt is about two seconds away from snatching the gift from his hands and tearing it open himself when Blaine finally pulls back the carefully cut wrapping paper.

"Ooh! Gossip Girl box-set!" Blaine says excitedly, turning the box over in his hands before leaning forward to kiss Kurt. "Thank you!"

He picks up the second present and begins picking at the tape with exaggerated cautiousness only for Kurt to groan in frustration. Blaine laughs, glad that they have that playfulness back even if just for a short while. He decides to put Kurt out of his misery, tearing open the paper to reveal Bryan Ferry's greatest hits. He smiles, happy that Kurt remembered how much he loved Roxy Music before thanking him and leaning forward for a second kiss.

"Okay my turn!" Kurt decides as Blaine hands Kurt his gift. It had taken him forever to figure out what to get him and he's still having second thoughts about it. Tearing through the paper, Kurt gets to his gift in no time, pulling the navy blue jacket from the shredded remains with care. His eyes are blown wide as he studies it and Blaine watches cautiously, waiting for any sort of sign that Kurt likes it. Blaine knows how Kurt stares longingly at some of the designs that he'll never get to wear, and Blaine had searched through countless fashion magazines and websites to find something Kurt would love.

"Blaine, this is…" he starts, voice hardly above a whisper. "It's lovely, but you know I can't wear something like this. It's far too form fitting, I'd never be able to hide my…" he trails off, voice sad and a little hurt though Blaine tries not to feel too bad before he can explain himself and his choice in gift.

"I know," he says hurriedly, "This is for you to wear when you're in a safe place. When you're at home and you don't have to hide from anyone. I know how much you agonize over not being able to wear what you want and I thought this would look amazing on you so…" he trails off after getting no reaction from Kurt and every reason as to why this was a terribly insensitive idea overwhelms his mind. "You hate it," he states, biting his lip.

"No – "

"I'm sorry, it was a stupid idea, I should never have even –mmph " Blaine rambles before Kurt silences him with a kiss.

"You're right," Kurt says when Blaine only stares at him dumbfounded. "Look at me! I'm sitting with one of the very few people I actually trust, in my bedroom, in my own house, with the curtains closed, and all the doors locked and I'm _still_ hiding," he gestures meekly to the hat he still has yet to take off. "When that Sebastian guy found out, everything suddenly got a whole lot more _real_ and the possibility that I could actually be taken away someday is something that has been on my mind non-stop since then. I don't even like to look at myself in the mirror anymore unless I'm covered up."

"You shouldn't have to hide away, not all the time. I'm not saying you should go outside on full display – that would be insane – but I hate to see you hiding away all the time. Especially when you're as beautiful as you are and…" Blaine gulps before diving into what he really wants to say, "You've sort of been pulling away from me. I don't know if it's intentional but I feel like I barely know you right now. We're in this together, I'm going to support you for as long as you want me to but… _I_ need support from you too, Kurt."

Kurt is looking at him like he's seeing him for the first time. Feeling as though his entire body is shaking, he watches in awe as Kurt slowly peels the hat away from his head, smoothing down is hair a little as his ears twitch happily with their freedom. Right before Blaine's very eyes, he tugs off the hoody he had been wearing and begins to unbutton the shirt underneath and Blaine is a little ashamed at how quickly his heart begins beating at the sight, it has been far too long since they've done anything intimate, after all. From his dresser, Kurt pulls out a much better fitted shirt and buttons it up letting his tail hang free as it swishes from side to side, mesmerizing Blaine with its elegance. Blaine is entranced at the mere fact that his boyfriend is real at all.

Kurt reaches for the jacket and shrugs it over his shoulders, turning his back to Blaine and staring at himself in the floor length mirror as he fastens the buttons. Blaine peers over his shoulder as best he can from his spot on the bed, letting Kurt examine himself first before he says anything. For what seems like several hours, Kurt inspects himself from all angles, eyes constantly straying to his bare ears and unconcealed tail rather than the jacket that he's actually tying on.

Blaine watches cautiously as Kurt finally turns, eyes him expectantly before announcing "Well?"

Blaine's lips part in a wide grin as he nods feverishly.

"Incredibly hot," he blurts because yeah, his boyfriend is possibly the hottest creature that has ever walked this planet and seeing him in such fitted clothing is a considerably memorable first.

His chest fills out the front so wonderfully while his waist curves inwards at just the perfect angle that has Blaine practically salivating.

But more important than that, Kurt looks confident and proud and _happy_.

Blaine can't help himself as he opens his arms, silently begging Kurt to join him on the bed, the need to just touch so intense he can't push it away.

"Seriously you look amazing," he says, lying back onto Kurt's pillows as Kurt settles himself on Blaine's chest. He can feel Kurt's purr vibrating against his ribs, the sensation so familiar to him now when it had been so foreign before.

"I'm so sorry," Kurt whispers arms wrapping around Blaine and squeezing protectively. "I just…I'm sorry, Blaine. Really. And…And thank you, for the jacket, it's beautiful."

Blaine feels close to crying, still not entirely sure what has Kurt acting so strangely, he's just relieved to have his boyfriend back in his arms.

Blaine lets his hands run down Kurt's sides, loving the way his purr increases in volume as he does so, until Kurt reaches behind him and places Blaine's hand on his ears instead. Blaine touches carefully, reacquainting his hands with the soft fur and pointed tips of Kurt's ears. He's barely had the chance to even see them lately and Kurt had shied away every time Blaine even came close to touching them. After mentally sighing a breath of relief, Blaine allows himself to relax a little, Kurt had loved his gift and he seems to be back to his old self at least a little.

"My mom always used to stroke my ears," Kurt murmurs against Blaine's neck before shifting a little to a better position, as his face falls into a frown. "But she never wanted a son like me. I always felt so close to her because, to me, she was the only person in the world who looked the same as I did. But she hated that we were the same, even if she never showed it, I could tell. And now this is all I have left of her, what I am is my only connection to her now and it feels like such a cruel fate because I know that's not how she would have wanted me to remember her."

"That's not true," Blaine remarks, leaning over slightly to pick up the picture frame that's lying on Kurt's bedside table, the one Kurt had intended on showing Blaine the first time he came over before they were interrupted by Kurt's dad. "You have the same eyes and the same hair and…obviously I never knew her so this is just based on what you've told me but you're both incredibly brave and strong and loyal," Blaine says, fingers playfully tangling in Kurt's hair as he places the photo frame back on the table. "What you are doesn't define you, Kurt, but even so you shouldn't be ashamed of it. I know you have to hide because this world we live in is sick and cruel but that isn't your fault, so please don't hide yourself away from me. You don't have to be insecure when you're with me because I honestly mean it when I say you're the most stunning person I've ever met. You have nothing to be ashamed of and I think your mom would be really happy to see you confident and proud of who you are," Blaine says, eyes never leaving Kurt's until Kurt breaks away sadly, trailing his gaze up and down Blaine's chest.

"That's sweet, Blaine," he says slowly, "but you never knew my mom. When I say she hated herself I really mean it. What happened to her it – it really damaged her, she could never truly be happy. And do you know how rare it is for Hybrid children to be born from mixed parents? It practically never happens. I mean it's unusual enough for children to even be conceived by mixed parents and they're almost always accidents anyway," Kurt blinks away tears as his face hardens and Blaine doesn't want to imagine what happens when a Hybrid becomes pregnant by her assailant. "If my mom had known there was even a significant chance I'd turn out like this then she would never have tried for a child. I know she loved me and she did everything she could to make sure I was safe and happy but when she used to stroke my ears, it wasn't lovingly, not like how a mother might ruffle her kid's hair, it was with resentment." Blaine says nothing as Kurt explains. He'd never really given a lot of thought to what Kurt's mother might have actually been like. He'd seen the picture of her, one of the only ones Kurt and his dad had allowed themselves to keep. She smiles in it, her face a perfect picture of what happiness might look like. But it's the same smile he sees on Kurt when he knows he isn't really one hundred percent there, when he's just pretending to be okay for Blaine's sake. To the untrained eye, Elizabeth Hummel might look happy but knowing Kurt as well as he does, Blaine can see now that that's not the case.

"But…" Kurt continues, eyebrows furrowed as though just realising something for the first time, "she never even let herself be happy, even when things were going well. She was ashamed of who she was her entire life and…and I don't think I want to be like that. I love my mom but I don't want to end up like her, living with this self-hatred my whole life simply because other people can't see that I'm just as human as they are." So that was the wedge that had been stuck between the two of them. Kurt had been spiralling into this self-hatred, mirroring his mother's own descent into depression right before Blaine's very eyes. Blaine only wished it had all made sense sooner.

"If I want to be normal then I have to believe that I am."

Before he says anything else, Kurt is kissing Blaine, their lips clashing together as Kurt's hands squeeze Blaine's arms excitedly.

"Thank you," he murmurs against Blaine's lips, pressing small kisses against them as he talks. "Thank you for the gift and just thank you, I love you so much."

"Merry Christmas," he says, the corners of his mouth tugging upwards as he feels Kurt relax into him fully. His trust and comfort clear as he purrs loudly and his tail trails up and down Blaine's leg affectionately while Blaine's hand wanders once again to Kurt's ears, fingers gently playing with the soft fur.

* * *

It doesn't happen instantaneously but things slowly but surely return to normal. Well, as normal as things can be. Though the glee club still refuse to acknowledge their existence and Miss Pillsbury has buried her attempts at getting Kurt to open up, Kurt eventually begins to act more and more like himself at school again, like he had started to before the scandals incident. He allows himself to smile more freely, he talks to his classmates about the work and, on good days, about things unrelated to school. When Blaine sees him in the hallway, he can't help but smile. He can't quite put his finger on it but there's just an air of confidence about him that hadn't been there before. Kurt walks through these halls proudly.

Of course he isn't foolish about it, Kurt is still incredibly careful about what he wears and the things he says so as not to draw any unwanted attention to himself. He wears the jacket Blaine bought him for Christmas when they're at home and had even treated himself to some items that had been on his wish-list ever since he picked up his very first copy of Vogue.

There are still bullies to watch out for at school, a simple shove into a locker is one thing but if they decide to specifically target him then things could take a turn for the worst. It's no secret that Kurt has a particular _insecurity_. Ever since Blaine transferred, Kurt has been known as _That Weird Kid with the Hats_ so if anyone wanted to actually hurt him, it wouldn't be difficult to do so.

Even so, Blaine loves the change of pace. He no longer feels like he's constantly stepping on eggshells when he's with Kurt, afraid he might say or do something wrong. He no longer has to be careful whenever initiating any form of contact for fear of Kurt pulling away and for the first time in several long months, they are intimate again. Kurt is actually the one to bring it to light, mentioning how much he misses it one night as they lounge on Blaine's sofa, enjoying the free house. It's completely out of the blue and Blaine coughs a little on his soda only to find Kurt gazing at him, an expectant smile playing on his lips while his eyes shine bright with anticipation.

Barely five minutes later, they're stumbling upstairs towards Blaine's bedroom, ready to cross off another first from their lists.

Things are good, no, they're great. Blaine has Kurt and Kurt is the happiest Blaine has ever seen him. Graduation is barely a few months away and soon, Kurt will have the freedom he has been craving ever since he was forced to start public school. Away from cruel kids who target those who are different and teachers who can't possibly understand what Kurt is going through. And though Blaine still has another year to get through, Kurt will wait for him.

He misses his friends and though he'll always feel that twinge of guilt whenever he thinks of them, Blaine can't deny that things really are looking up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the jacket Blaine got Kurt: http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m3rshxKGDj1qeds6ko1_r2_500.jpg


	13. Chapter 13

Blaine should have known that at the top of every rollercoaster is when things inevitably crash back down to the ground.

Blaine sits in the Hummels' living room, watching fondly as Kurt hurries about the house, making sure everything is prepared, his red graduation gown billowing behind him as he races downstairs to his bedroom to pick up something he'd forgotten.

Kurt had been accepted into the community college several weeks earlier and is more than eager to rid himself from the halls of McKinley for good. Though Blaine will be sad to see him go, he can't deny that a change of scenery will be good for Kurt, and they'll still get to see each other, Blaine is confident in that at least.

All that's left is for Kurt to actually graduate and Blaine would be lying if he said he isn't at least a little nervous. Kurt's anxiety when it comes to crowds has begun to rub off on Blaine a little, not for his own sake but for Kurt's. He feels as though he's constantly on the lookout for threats and in crowded places he becomes overwhelmed with the need to ensure that Kurt is kept out of danger of being found out.

Kurt, on the other hand, feels confident enough to face one last day at McKinley, despite the promised number of people there will be, and that is enough to put Blaine at ease a little.

Once Kurt is sure he's ready, Blaine stands, picking up Kurt's cap and securing it firmly over Kurt's ears. The days' events thankfully call for a cap to be worn by all so for once, Kurt won't stand out. Everyone will be wearing the same and Kurt can blend easily.

"You ready, kid?" Burt asks as Kurt double checks that his hat is secure and tail safely hidden under his gown. Kurt nods eagerly, more than ready to close this chapter of his life and put the torment and bullying behind him once and for all.

"You sure you'll be okay?" Blaine asks, unable to keep himself from fretting.

"Of course," Kurt says happily, pecking Blaine on the lips before following his dad out to the car. Blaine pushes down the twinge of nerves he feels, unable to place why he can't let himself feel content as he closes the front door behind him and Kurt.

The school is filled by a sea of red caps and gowns as everyone clusters outside, ready for the ceremony. Blaine squeezes Kurt's hand as they make their way over to everyone else.

"I'll see you on stage, buddy," Burt says before leaving them to go find his seat in the auditorium. Blaine can't help but notice that he looks nervous too, but to deny Kurt this one day to feel normal is something he can't do.

"You ready to graduate high school?" Blaine says playfully as Kurt wraps his arms around Blaine's neck.

"Definitely," he responds.

"Will you be okay…?" Blaine asks, knowing he needs to find Burt and leave Kurt with the rest of the seniors. He notices the seniors from the glee club standing nearby and finds himself even more reluctant to leave Kurt's side. There's still a rift between them and judging from the sour looks Kurt and Blaine have been receiving ever since what happened, it's only logical to assume that they're still bitter about the whole thing. Blaine kind of wishes that they could have made amends by now, what with Kurt and half of the club gradating but he has resigned himself to the fact that it will most likely never happen.

"Go," Kurt urges as Blaine's attentions snaps back to the present. "I'll see you after, okay?" Blaine nods as Kurt presses a brief kiss to his lips, uncaring that they might be seen. Kurt will no longer have to hide away from the bullies at McKinley so their rules on PDA aren't quite so strict for his final day.

With one final shove, Blaine eventually leaves Kurt to go find Burt.

* * *

Watching Kurt up on stage is something Blaine is sure he'll never forget. He almost wants to cry as his boyfriend conquers his fears and stands in front of hundreds of people to collects his high school diploma. After everything Kurt has overcome in his life, this is by far his biggest achievement. After the death his mother, and being forced to attend public school, something that could have potentially ruined his entire life, Kurt stands proudly, having defeated them all. Blaine catches his eye over the commotion of everything and offers him a subtle thumbs-up to which Kurt replies with a teary smile, clutching his diploma proudly.

Everyone is gathered on stage, the last of the students having received their diplomas. Blaine knows what's supposed to happen now, they've gone over it countless times just to be safe. Kurt makes his way to the side of the stage so he can slip away without notice as everyone groups together to toss their caps in the air. Blaine holds his breath as he watches Kurt manoeuvre through the crowd only to be stopped by Rachel of all people.

It's difficult to see what's happening from where Blaine stands in the crowd but he can see Rachel talking – smiling even – and Kurt smiles back tentatively.

"What's he doing?" Burt asks from besides Blaine.

Rachel is dragging Kurt to the front of the stage while Kurt desperately tries to pull away without making a scene and all too quickly everything becomes clear. Blaine's heart sinks as he stands frozen and hopeless, wanting desperately to just pause the show and make everything stop.

He can see Kurt mouthing the words _no_ and _please_ over and over until suddenly the entire stage is littered with red caps.

Blaine is moving the moment he sees Puck sneak up behind Kurt, yanking his cap off and throwing it in the air with the rest of the caps. And just like that, Blaine can feel everything crash down right in front of his very eyes. Because there on stage is Kurt, eyes wide and ears bare as his entire body quivers in fear. It's like something right out of Blaine's nightmares except the intense dread and stifling anxiety he feels is far to sickening to be anything other than real.

Kurt has disappeared through the stage doors before there is time for anything else to happen and Blaine hurries his way up the aisle, Burt following close behind. There are murmurings and confusion and Blaine tries to filter them out of his mind. They can deal with that once they've found Kurt. Everything else on Blaine's mind takes a backseat as getting to Kurt becomes his priority.

The halls are eerily quiet, not a book, teacher or student in sight and Blaine is thankful that nobody is around. He takes up running the moment the auditorium doors close behind him, Burt heads the other way, both determined to find Kurt as quickly as possible.

"Kurt!" Blaine calls desperately, heart beating faster than he can ever remember it doing so before. He feels like he's lost in the woods, every moment that he doesn't find Kurt filling him with more and more angst until he finally spots a flash of red. _Kurt!_

Blaine finds him leaning against a row of lockers, shaking so bad that he can hear the metal behind him rattling as his hands claw uselessly at his ears.

"Kurt?" Blaine asks as he reaches him, he needs to know that he isn't going to shut down, not again. The quivering boy says nothing as Blaine strips off his cardigan and places it over Kurt's head after gently prying his hands away. "Come on," Blaine says as calmly as he can manage but he realises his voice is shaking too, in fact his whole body is. This moment of calm and quiet is simply not enough to soothe his frayed nerves because he knows that everything hangs in the balance right now and something tells him that his whole world is about to tip in the wrong direction. Taking Kurt's hand, Blaine leads them towards the parking lot. "We'll find your dad and then we'll head home and figure a way to sort this mess out, okay?" he says, trying to calm himself down as much as Kurt. There's no way that Kurt can't feel his hand shaking against his and Blaine can only hope that his own panicking doesn't set Kurt off.

"Blaine," Kurt whispers, tugging slightly at Blaine's hand. "Blaine, stop."

"What's wrong?" Blaine says, refusing to believe the voice in his mind telling him that everything is hopeless now.

"I love you so much," Kurt says tearfully and it sounds too much like closure for Blaine's liking.

"I love you, too," he replies shakily, "come on, we'll get home and sort out this whole mess and – "

" _Blaine_ ," Kurt repeats, eyes searching Blaine's and begging him to understand but Blaine refuses to believe it, refuses to even consider it to be true. Everything is going to be fine.

"Kurt!" Burt's voice distracts them both as Kurt tears his eyes away from Blaine's, giving him a moment to breathe as Kurt is enveloped by his father's strong arms. "You know what this means, right?" he asks his son sternly and Kurt nods solemnly. Burt's eyes stray to Blaine's and Blaine can feel his stomach churn as he takes in the look. He's never seen Mr Hummel look so regretful.

"Just let me say goodbye first, please." Burt looks between the two with unease before reluctantly sighing, giving in. "Five minutes, Kurt. Five minutes and I want you in that car, you hear?" Kurt nods hastily as Burt leaves, giving them some privacy.

"Say goodbye?" Blaine questions, voice strained. "What do you mean say goodbye?" He knows exactly what Kurt means but he's somehow convinced that if he denies it for long enough it will stop being true.

"Blaine, I have to go – "

"No! No, we'll figure something out, just like we did with Sebastian, i-it'll be okay, you'll see!" Blaine begs pleadingly, wishing that Kurt wouldn't be so calm when he feels like everything is ending. Probably because everything is ending.

"Sebastian was one person, Blaine," Kurt says, voice urgent with the little time he knows he has, "But all those people out there, all those video cameras and phones...there's no way I can stay here now."

Thinking it and hearing Kurt say it are two different things. Every word Kurt says is like a knife wound to his chest, driving in the reality that he desperately wishes weren't true.

Without warning, Blaine feels the tears drip down his cheeks. Kurt is really leaving him here, all alone. "Blaine…" Kurt whimpers pulling him into a hug and Blaine clings to him like a lifeline. It's his last chance to for god knows how long.

"Where will you go?" he asks after several moments of silence, the seconds he has left with Kurt rapidly ticking down.

"I'm not sure," Kurt says after a sigh, "I guess we'll just keep going until we know we're safe."

Blaine nods, biting his lips to stop another wave of tears from erupting.

"Text me when you get there, okay? Let me know you're safe." The moment the words leave his mouth, Blaine sees the change in Kurt's face, sudden understanding and foreboding filling what feels like the empty cavity in his chest. "Kurt…" he urges, silently begging to be proved wrong. "You'll text me, right?"

"Blaine, they're not idiots. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that we're close. If they come here looking for me, they're going to use you and if we have any contact, they'll be able to find a way to track me."

Blaine is speechless as he takes in Kurt's words and their meaning. This morning they were preparing for Kurt's graduation and now he's facing never seeing him again?

"Where…where are you going, Kurt please, give me something, I'll look for you, I promise I'll find you!"

Kurt shakes his head as his own tears continue to fall. He looks so heartbreakingly beautiful and Blaine can't fathom the fact that he's never going to see this perfect face again.

"I can't Blaine. I don't _know_ and if I did it's…it's too risky."

"This can't be it," Blaine whispers, moving forward and taking Kurt's hands in his own, squeezing so tightly that it must be hurting but he just can't force himself to let go. "Please, Kurt. You can't leave me here, I'll be all alone without you," Blaine begs, he can hear how pathetic he sounds as his voice comes out as a choked sob. But it's true. Kurt is all he has. The glee club hate him, the only reason he made it through the year was because Kurt was by his side. He had something to dedicate himself to and someone he loved whom he could be with in a moment's notice whenever he felt lonely. Despite having only known him for less than a year, a life without Kurt is something Blaine can no longer comprehend. "Let me come with you!" he cries, the idea suddenly forming but Kurt shakes his head sadly leaving Blaine frustrated that he won't even give the idea a second thought.

"Don't be ridiculous," Kurt tells him, "your whole life is here, your family, you still have to finish high school…I'm not going to let you ruin your entire life by following me around the country!" Kurt almost sounds angry at his suggestion, but the tension soon fades as he looks at his watch. "I have to go," he whispers regretfully, "I'll always love you, Blaine."

"No!" Blaine pleads, voice growing louder, "No! Kurt, _please_!"

The door to the auditorium crashes open in the distance and a sudden chorus of chatter fills the previously empty hallways. Blaine sees as Kurt tenses at the sound, his shaking starting anew. Blaine knows he can't keep Kurt any longer. It's been longer than the five minutes Kurt's dad had allowed him and Kurt is growing increasingly uneasy as the voices grow louder.

It takes every ounce of Blaine's willpower to let go of Kurt's hand while every cell in his body is screaming at him to never let go.

"You have no idea how much I wish I didn't have to say goodbye to you. Just…" Kurt's voice quivers as he tries to form the words, the last words he'll ever say to him. "thank you so much. You're honestly the best thing that's ever happened to me and I promise I'll never forget you."

Blaine nods feebly. He wants to say something but nothing comes to mind. He knows he's going to regret leaving things the way they are, leaving everything he feels unsaid, but he just doesn't know how to say goodbye to someone like Kurt. The opportunity is staring him in the face, the chance to tell Kurt exactly what he means to him one last time but the words refuse to make themselves known and time is running out.

Without another word, Kurt reluctantly turns, leaving Blaine alone in hallway. Blaine watches, though his eyes are brimming uncontrollably with tears, as the glass doors slam shut behind him and Kurt disappears from his life. Just like that, he's gone.

"Blaine!" Rachel's voice pierces through the crowd and Blaine groans. She's the last person he wants to talk to right now.

"Please, just go" he growls miserably, unable to keep his emotions at bay.

"Not until you tell me what's going on," she demands and Blaine would laugh if he wasn't so furious.

"You're seriously asking _me_ what's going on? After what you did to Kurt?" Rachel at least has the decency to look guilty but she is no less determined. "Come on," she says, dragging him away from the now crowded hallway, her gown flowing behind her and diploma still in hand. He knows her dads are probably here somewhere, she should be celebrating her graduation but instead she's here, insisting on talking to Blaine so he supposes he should at least here was she has to say.

"Where is he?" Rachel demands once they've made it to an empty classroom and Blaine is honestly offended at her almost bitter tone.

"Gone."

"Where?"

"I don't know," Blaine grits out because that's the problem. Kurt is gone and he has no way of ever finding his way back to him. Rachel is at a loss for words as she tries to understand Blaine's anger.

"In the auditorium…he…why did he have…?" she stumbles, getting to the real reason as to why she wanted to talk to Blaine. Most people are probably confused about what they saw. "We had no idea what he was hiding. All we knew was that it had to be something his was ashamed of, something we could use to humiliate him after what he did to us. What you _both_ did." Blaine glares at her for the accusation but she doesn't look nearly as angry about it as she probably should be. "Blaine…please tell me what's going on." Rachel's voice is soft, almost forgiving but Blaine can't see past his own fury. He needs someone to blame or else he'll just succumb entirely to his own grief and Rachel is conveniently easy to place the blame on.

"Like I said last year, it's not my story to tell," he says with a scowl, crossing his arms as he sits on a nearby table.

"Where is Kurt?" she asks again, more persistently.

"I told you, I don't _know_. That's the problem. He's gone, Rachel. Forever. I'm never going to see him again because of you and your petty revenge," Blaine says, voice dangerously loud.

"Petty?" Rachel retaliates, voice rising to match Blaine's. "We didn't even have a shot at _Regionals _.__ And I didn't get into NYADA by the way. Apparently there were other, more accomplished, applicants and they'd rather take those on. Forgive me if I'm still a little bitter."

Blaine sighs.

"Look, Rachel, I'm sorry. I never intended for that to happen and I feel awful that you didn't get into NYADA but what you did today…you don't understand."

"So make me understand."

Before Blaine even has a chance to reply, Rachel is standing and walking towards the door. She locks it before dropping the key somewhere under her gown. "Talk."

Blaine says nothing.

"We're not leaving until you tell me what's going on. I can't imagine it will be too long before the janitor locks up for the night. We could be here all weekend." Still Blaine stays silent and Rachel huffs in annoyance.

"Blaine. I don't want to be mad at you, I want to understand. It's been plaguing me ever since, I just want to know why you did what you did. I know you two, and I know you're not like that and I know you wouldn't have done it without good reason and I just want to know what it is."

Rachel keeps his gaze, silently begging him to be honest with her and Blaine finds his resolve crumbling.

"We were being blackmailed," he admits eventually, voice quiet and cracking, "by the leader of The Warblers, Sebastian."

"And you couldn't tell us that?" she says but all the anger as left her voice.

"No! Because you'd ask questions that we couldn't answer. No one could find out about Kurt."

I…I still don't understand, Kurt is…what exactly?"

Blaine groans, covering his face with his hand. He can't tell Rachel now, it would feel like he was betraying Kurt after everything they've been through. Rachel senses his apprehension, moving closer and placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. "You can tell me. I mean I already saw… I just want some clarification."

Blaine lets his eyes fall on Rachel. After months of barely even making eye contact, it's strange to be having an actual conversation with her again.

So he tells her. He spares her some of the details but she gets the gist of it and Blaine feels as though there is a brick in his stomach as he watches her face become progressively more distraught.

The weight lifted from his shoulders once he finishes, however, is indescribable. The burden of keeping this secret for so long finally lifted. He remembers how much longer Kurt had been keeping the very same secret, how much longer he's going to have to keep it. Kurt will have to spend the rest of his life carrying it around with him while Blaine is now free from it.

He should feel relief but all he seems capable of feeling is the hollow Kurt shaped hole in his chest.

Rachel takes his hand. It has begun to grow dark outside by the time Blaine finishes Kurt's story and he can't bring himself to care that he's crying again.

Rachel's hand is nothing like Kurt's. Where Kurt's is strong, Rachel's is delicate and slender. Though Blaine has always known that he would rather hold a boy's hand than a girl's, he can't deny the comfort it brings him as he lets himself cry over Kurt's abrupt departure from his life.

"I forgive you," Rachel says after a prolonged silence, stirring the air with her clear voice. "for pulling us out of Regionals. And I'm sure everyone else will once they know."

"I can't let everyone know!" Blaine argues, still hanging on to his duty of keeping Kurt's secret but he knows it's no use now. Everyone has seen, they're inevitably going to ask questions that Blaine has no other answer for.

"You have to," Rachel encourages gently. "You're going to need friends to get through this, okay. You really loved him didn't you?"

The way she uses past tense stings in a way Blaine never imagined possible.

"Of course I do," Blaine replies, keeping himself in the present tense.

"Come on," Rachel says, standing and pulling Blaine up, fingers never leaving his. "I'll drive you home and we can begin to sort out this mess tomorrow."

It hadn't occurred to Blaine until just then that Burt was supposed to be his ride home and he nods gratefully. He allows Rachel to direct him to her car and he doesn't even notice that they've arrived back at his house or even that she has gotten out of the car until she opens his side of the door.

Once Rachel is gone and Blaine is finally, truly alone, he lets it all out. Screaming and crying until his mother bursts into his room in a panic and has to comfort him. He feels like a child crying in his mother's arms while refusing to tell her what's wrong. She's why Kurt wouldn't let him come with him, his mother and the rest of his family and his stupid life that's grounded in Lima. He's stuck here while Kurt is wherever, running, hiding and lost from him forever.


	14. Chapter 14

Blaine wakes fitfully the next morning, confused as to why his chest feels hollow and empty until he remembers that the day before hadn't in fact been a cruel nightmare.

By the time his brain catches up, Blaine wishes he'd never woken at all.

Kurt is gone.

Gone gone gone. The word reverberates inside his skull until it seemingly loses all meaning and instead merely evokes a feeling in him that's not unlike being punched in the stomach.

But the fact that he's gone is secondary to the fact that Blaine will never know if he got away, if he's okay. How is Blaine supposed to live out the rest of his life knowing that somewhere Kurt could be hurting.

He knows the reason Kurt left was to protect himself but what if they caught him? What if they had enough information to track him down? Blaine hates that his mind won't let him forget the terrible things that Kurt told him about his mom and the things she endured. The mere thought of Kurt being subjected to that has Blaine rushing for the bathroom and heaving while clutching the sides of the toilet bowl.

Over and over again he tells himself that it's all in his head, that Kurt is fine and he has absolutely no reason whatsoever to think that he's in any danger at all. Kurt was careful when he lived in Lima, he wouldn't leave anything behind that could potentially harm him later on. However, Blaine can't just can't shake the images that seem to burned into his brain, he hates himself for even letting his mind conjure them but they're there and the more Blaine thinks of them, the more panicked he becomes until he knows he has to do something.

But what? Kurt's gone, out of reach entirely, he left without a trace and that fact should be enough to comfort Blaine, there's nothing for anyone to find.

Slumped against the toilet bowl, Blaine hears a knock at the door, tentative and unsure before it's followed by a voice equally as unsettled.

"Blaine? I heard you throwing up." It's his mother's voice. Blaine makes no attempt to respond, instead resting his cheek against his hand, miserably trying not to let the tears fall. But his mother persistent. "Are you okay in there?"

"No," Blaine's croaks, his voice scratchy. There's no point trying to pretend he's fine anymore. Slowly, his mother turns the handle, giving Blaine time to protest if he'd rather she not come in but he barely has the energy to say anything. She stands in the doorway, still in her pyjamas, with concern painted across her face.

"Is this at all related to last night?" she asks softly and Blaine manages to feel guilty for keeping her up and crying on her all night. He nods solemnly before his mother kneels down beside him, resting a comforting hand against his back but keeping her distance in case he pukes again. "Are you ready to tell me what this is about?" she asks patiently. Blaine's breathe hitches as he sucks in a mouthful of air. He can't tell her, but the hand on his back feels so warm and loving that he can't stop the tears from flowing any longer.

"Blaine…" before his mother has a chance to say anything further, Blaine has buried himself in her arms, crying into her shoulder once more as she hugs him back, whispering soothing words despite having no clue as to what the matter is. He can't tell her what's wrong but it's nice just to be held together when he feels like he's about to fall apart.

Blaine drives to Kurt's without even really thinking about it. It's out of habit perhaps, whenever he needed to get away from his house before, Kurt's place was his first – and only – choice. He had become restless at home, and had grown more and more tired of the pitying looks his mother was giving him. In the end, he just told her that he and Kurt had broken up and Kurt had moved away and, though she didn't say it, he could tell she thought he was overreacting. He couldn't tell her the truth though.

It's not until Blaine is making the turn onto Kurt's street that he realises where he's headed towards. He's not sure what he's expecting exactly, he knows Kurt and his dad are gone and the thought of seeing their house devoid of people makes his stomach drop. Nonetheless, he navigates his car towards what was formerly the Hummel residence. However, before he can come to a stop, he sees them.

The door to Kurt's house is open and by it are two seemingly ordinary looking men but they're enough to make Blaine's heart stop in his chest.

Mind in overdrive, Blaine passes the house without stopping, trying not to make himself too obvious for fear that they'll notice him.

Further up the road, surrounded by picture perfect detached houses most likely filled with happy, wealthy families, Blaine collects his thoughts. Without a doubt in his mind, he knows who those people outside Kurt's house are. In his mind he'd pictured them older, angrier, and meaner; the type of obvious villain in children's movies. The idea that they could just be ordinary people, was one he was never able to stomach.

Blaine's not surprised they're here, his only surprise is that they got here so fast. Kurt wasn't kidding when he said the news would travel fast, someone in that audience at graduation noticed him and tipped off the Hybrid Traders and they were already here in their search for the one that slipped through their fingers all those years ago.

Though the one they're really after is dead, Kurt is her legacy and has just as big a bounty on his head now they know of his existence.

It shouldn't be legal, it probably isn't, but there's not a thing Blaine can do to stop them. All he can hope for is that there really is nothing for them to find as they rummage through Kurt's former home, all the memories created there disregarded while they tear apart everything in their search. There are no pictures of Kurt at their house, something Blaine had noticed early on in their relationship. The only photographic evidence of any of them is the one photo frame Kurt keeps by his bed of his mother. Blaine has no idea whether he had managed to take that with him, if they'd even stopped home at all before leaving.

Pictures are evidence, Kurt had always told him, even if his ears are covered in them, they can still be used as references to identify him with.

Taking out his phone, Blaine swipes the screen and allows himself one last look at his home screen. It's him and Kurt; the only picture Kurt had ever allowed Blaine to take of him after he promised that it would stay on his phone, there would be no hard copies and most certainly no uploading it to the internet. The only other copy of this photo is on Kurt's phone but since Kurt has left all traces of this life behind him, Blaine highly doubts that it still exists there.

They're in the choir room, sitting close together with their heads resting on each other and smiling like there isn't a single thing that could ever bring them down. It's painful to look at.

Kurt's words ring through his ears. _If they come here looking for me, they're going to use you._

Blaine's finger hesitates over the button, trembling as he tries to memorise every curve of Kurt's face, every blemish and every perfection and the exact way his smile sits on his lips. If they do somehow end up with this picture, all it will do will give them a better idea of Kurt and that's the last thing Blaine wants to do.

He deletes it.

* * *

His phone rings.

He ignores it.

Blaine's lying on his bed, unsure what to do with himself. The curtains are closed, blocking the world from Blaine's darkened bedroom but a strip of sunlight still manages to peak through and Blaine decides to fix his eyes on it. It's been a whole week since Kurt left and he feels as though his life has hit a sudden dead end. The glee club have all been calling him non-stop, Blaine assumes Rachel told them about Kurt and he wants nothing more than to hate her for it, for spreading Kurt's rumour like some juicy gossip she heard in the girl's bathroom but he just can't bring himself to. He can't really bring himself to feel much at all.

Eventually, the incessant ringing starts to rub on his nerves and he turns to his side to grab his phone and turn it to silent. There are plenty of missed calls and texts, but none from the one person he needs to hear from. There's still a glimmer of hope that Kurt will text or call or write or email or _something._ He just can't take the fact that Kurt is no longer a part of his life and that he just needs to get used to it. He can't. There's still a part of him expecting Kurt to text him any second, inviting him over, there's still that denial that Kurt isn't really gone and Blaine wishes he could just shut off his brain for a few months so he didn't have to go through this.

Scrolling through the list of missed calls, Blaine jumps when his phone begins vibrating again.

It's not Kurt, neither is it anyone from the glee club.

It's Sebastian.

Blaine frowns, they haven't spoken since Blaine and Kurt withdrew the New Directions from regionals. He'd done his damage and disappeared from Blaine's life with nothing more than a sarcastic remark.

He has no idea what inclines him to do so, but he picks up.

* * *

"You're probably wondering why I asked you here," Sebastian says, grinning facetiously as they sit in an empty corner of the Lima Bean. There are only a handful of other customers, it's not crowded but it's just busy enough to give them the privacy that Sebastian wants. Eying him warily, Blaine says nothing. He can't deny that he's curious as to why Sebastian had been so eager to meet up but all of his prior experiences with Sebastian have not been positive. "You look so lost without your pet making moon eyes at you," Sebastian mocks. Fists clenched, Blaine forces himself to say something, if only so he can get this encounter over with.

"Are you here to blackmail me again?" he spits with a scowl and Sebastian's eyes widen with amusement.

"You really think I'd do that to you, buddy?" he asks, clearly enjoying himself and Blaine begins to suspect that he knows something. It can't be coincidence that he decided to get in contact so soon after Kurt left.

"We're not buddies."

Sebastian laughs.

"Yeah, okay. I guess I can understand your hostility."

Blaine sighs, this clearly isn't going anywhere.

"Just tell me what you want, Sebastian." He's growing impatient and every second he spends with the other boy is a reminder of what he did to Kurt and himself. If Sebastian hadn't forced them to betray the New Directions then perhaps they wouldn't have targeted him at graduation. Kurt would still be here.

It takes more will power than Blaine was aware he even had to prevent himself from punching him right in his smirking face.

"I know about what happened to Kurt," Sebastian says after a pregnant pause. His voice is softer and lowered and eyes suddenly serious. If Blaine hadn't been glaring at him while he said it, he'd swear it was spoken by someone else. He almost sounds regretful. "And I'm sorry. I know it must suck for you-"

"Why do you care?" Blaine demands sharply, "A few seconds ago you were mocking me about him."

Sebastian shrugs.

"That's just how I am."

"Look, I don't have the patience for any of your games. If you're not gonna tell me what you want then I'm leaving. You can't blackmail me anymore, I'm not scared of you," Blaine reminds him as he rises.

"I'm not blackmailing you," Sebastian admits before Blaine has a chance to leave. He sounds calm and measured. If Blaine didn't know any better he might assume that he was a decent guy.

"So, what is it then?" Blaine says, "You wanna date me now that Kurt's out of the way?" The words feel vile on his tongue, even the mere thought of dating someone like Sebastian makes his stomach churn. Sebastian is laughing again, the sound so irksome to Blaine that for the second time that day he questions why he hasn't hit him yet.

"God, you really do need to get over yourself," Sebastian says, his cocky attitude rearing its ugly head again, "I never once said I wanted to date you, Blaine. I just think you're hot and I wouldn't exactly say no to a little…" Sebastian raises his eyebrows as he lets his eyes trail down Blaine's front before returning his gaze back to Blaine's unimpressed face. "But that's not what this is about."

Blaine drops back to his seat, growing more and more frustrated with Sebastian's secrecy but his curiosity wins out.

"I know what happens to Hybrids when they're sold at auctions and it's sick," Sebastian starts.

"If that's how you feel then why did you threaten to give Kurt away?" Blaine counters, anger rising while Sebastian stays irritatingly cool.

"Because I know how to get what I want," Sebastian admits with a matter-of-fact tone. "I was bluffing. I'm not exactly a saint, I'll admit that, but I never would have done something like that to anyone. I just knew that you'd never take that risk and used it to my advantage."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better? Is that supposed to make me trust you?" Blaine scoffs, "You might not have directly put Kurt in danger but you set off the chain of events that lead to him being exposed at graduation. You're the core reason why he's gone now."

Sebastian remains unaffected by Blaine's accusations with the exception of a minor tremor underneath his left eye.

"I'm sorry," Sebastian says with a sincerity Blaine was unaware he even had.

"Well that's not going to change anything."

" _Blaine._ " There's an edge to his tone now and Blaine takes comfort in the fact that his constant dismissal seems to have invoked some sort of reaction other than contempt from Sebastian. He sighs before shifting uncomfortably and looking around the Lima Bean to double check that no one is within ear shot. "Look, this isn't easy for me. I'm a jerk, an asshole, I pride myself in that, okay? I'm not touchy, feely, or disgustingly married like you and Kurt were, I'm not into all that. But I do, honestly, feel terrible because I know that I'm the reason that your boyfriend is god knows where, running for his life. I never wanted that to happen, I would never have intentionally made that happen, even if I can't stand him-"

"You don't even know him," Blaine interrupts with a scowl.

"That's not the point. I don't want anything from you, I'm not blackmailing you again I just…I'm trying to clear my conscience."

Remaining silent, Blaine's eyes roam over Sebastian, searching for any hint of insincerity. After finding none, he lets his eyes drop to his untouched coffee, the full weight of everything that has happened returning to him in full.

"So you've apologized," he murmurs, voice barely above a whisper as he tears at some empty sugar packets on the table. "Fine."

"My dad's dirt poor, you know," Sebastian says out of nowhere. Blaine's brow furrows as he wonders what he's getting at. "My mom has a little inheritance from when my grandfather died but her brother, my uncle, is the one who looks out for us. He's the one who insisted I go to Dalton, when he found out my parents were planning on sending me to a public school, he went crazy. He's also the reason I know so much about Hybrids. He never got married so my parents and I are his closest relatives. I don't share his name but he treats me like I'm his son sometimes." Sebastian sucks in a breath before continuing, "I met _her_ several times but he'd usually keep her hidden away. He had her for eight years before trading her in for a _younger model._

"When I came out as gay, my uncle didn't take it well, he offered to buy me one – a Hybrid – a girl obviously, but my Dad refused to let him. They fought about it for months until my Dad finally convinced him that I was too young." Sebastian pauses as Blaine takes in what he's saying, every thought vacating his mind as he becomes wrapped up in the story. Sebastian has a perspective on Hybrids that Blaine never got from what Kurt had told him. It takes a few moments for Blaine to come back to himself, with a short shake of his head he asks, "what exactly does this have to do with anything? Are you trying to get me to pity you?"

"You have no idea where Kurt is, right?"

Blaine shakes his head, the reminder like a cannonball to the stomach.

"All I have to do is say the word and my uncle can get me into the next auction. I can give you peace of mind that he's _not_ there."

Blaine takes a moment to consider just how valuable this sort of information would be. The past week he's been worrying himself sick – sometimes literally – when his brain decides to conjure up a thousand worst case scenarios. He just doesn't know how to function, not knowing where Kurt is or if he's safe. If he took Sebastian up on his offer then maybe he could find a way to carry on living again.

Then the thought hits him with such force that Blaine begins to feel sick again. Sebastian's plan could easily go both ways.

"What if…what if he is there, what happens then?" Because knowing for certain that Kurt is being sold to some sick fetishist is another kind of pain entirely. The thought brings tears to his eyes and he bitterly wipes them away with shaking hands, hating himself for crying in front of Sebastian.

"He won't be," Sebastian states firmly and Blaine is surprised at how he actually feels somewhat comforted by his certainty. "As stupid as you guys were when I found you at Scandals, Kurt's at least made it this far without being found so he's doing something right. As long as he's careful and doesn't leave any obvious footprints then he should be okay, he'll probably find somewhere to settle down eventually and live there quietly. I mean how long did he live here without anything happening?"

"He didn't need to hide before because they weren't looking for him, they didn't even know he existed. It was his mom they were searching for."

"And how long did she manage to evade them for?" Sebastian says with a smile that for once isn't snide. In all honesty, Blaine thinks it looks alien on his face. "I'll go to the auction and prove it to you."

"What do you want out of this?" Blaine asks, still not trusting that Sebastian has a heart big enough to allow him to help simply because he wants to. There's barely a pause before he replies.

"You really think that little of me?"

" _Sebastian,_ " Blaine says warningly.

"If I haven't asked for anything then I don't want anything. Don't be an idiot, Blaine. Just accept the offer I'm making."

"You're sure he won't be there?" Blaine asks, his voice deflated as all of his anger at Sebastian feebly returns to his own crushing depression.

"I'm sure."

To know that Kurt is okay is the most Blaine dares to hope for. The constant back and forth his brain has been doing is not going to help him move on and as much as he just wishes things could go back to how they were, he knows that it's impossible.

"Okay," he agrees.


	15. Chapter 15

Blaine has half a mind to just switch his phone off and never turn it back on ever again. The only thing stopping him from doing so is the microscopic flare of hope that Kurt might try to get in contact with him.

The amount of times it has been buzzing lately is driving him crazy. On top of the New Directions still constantly trying to get through to him to ease their guilty consciences or whatever, Sebastian has been at it as well.

**From Sebastian:**

**_if you miss Kurt that badly, I could put on a pair of cat ears and purr for you if you like_ **

**From Sebastian:**

**_Meoww ;)_ **

**From Sebastian:**

**_Or maybe if you're over the whole feline theme, we can just do it doggy style._ **

Sebastian is lucky he can do this through text because if he were anywhere in Blaine's vicinity, he'd have punched him in the face several times by now. Blaine hates that he needs him to go to the Hybrid auction in order to ease his mind.

Despite Blaine's lack of replies, Sebastian remains relentless, sending him inappropriate text after inappropriate text and, like a fool, Blaine opens every single one hoping that maybe it has something to do with the auction.

**From Sebastian:**

**_I saw the most adorable collar at the pet store and I thought of you!_ **

Blaine groans and tosses his phone onto his bed before deciding to take a shower, hoping it will be able to calm his frustration.

He returns to his bedroom only to find another 4 grotesque texts from the one and only Sebastian Smythe.

Blaine closes his eyes, thinks of Kurt, and counts to ten before grabbing his phone and angrily hitting the call button.

"Stop it," Blaine growls the moment Sebastian picks up, before he even has a chance to say anything. "I swear to god if you don't stop texting me I will personally see to it that every one of your elitist prep school ties gets shredded,"

"Ooh, threatening my ties, that really cuts me deep, Blaine," Sebastian laughs, only infuriating Blaine further.

"Just..just stop, okay. In case you haven't noticed I'm kind of going through a rough time right now so stop texting me. Unless it's something to do with Kurt then I don't care and I don't want you speaking to me."

"Hey, some of those texts mentioned Kurt," Sebastian tries to defend though Blaine can tell he's not being serious.

"Just leave me alone!" Blaine begs.

"Have you been out of the house today?"

"Wha-"

"I'm going to guess no, right?" Sebastian sounds weirdly serious all of a sudden and Blaine says nothing. "I thought so. And yesterday?"

"No," Blaine whispers in reply.

"I'm gonna hazard a guess and say you haven't been out since we met for coffee last week. Look, I know you feel shitty right now, I'm just trying to cheer you up."

"By insulting my boyfriend?" Blaine accuses while his chest constricts at the term.

"Okay, so clearly we don't share a sense of humour but, come on, you've gotta at least get out of the house!"

"You sound like my mom," Blaine remarks, on the verge of huffing out a laugh but he stops himself before it leaves his throat.

"Well your mom's right."

Blaine's not sure how he does it, but, for the second time, Sebastian manages to coax him out of the house. Is he really that starved for human contact that he's resorting to taking Sebastian up on his offer?

He feels guilty, wandering around the mall besides Sebastian who makes lewd comments every chance he gets though Blaine has mastered the skill of blocking out every offensive thing he says. What would Kurt think if he knew? He'd be devastated, but being around Sebastian is weirdly comforting. He knows he could easily call anyone from glee if he just feels like hanging out but Blaine still feels that unnerving tension whenever he thinks about them. Blaine has still neglected to reply to any texts or missed calls, and no matter how many more he gets, he just can't bring himself to open that can of worms again. He'd made his peace with his departure from the New Directions shortly after it had happened and he just can't see the point of going back to them now, not after what they did to Kurt.

But then again, Sebastian is more to blame than any of them. It feels contradictory to write the glee club out of his life while he and Sebastian become, well, friends is the wrong word, what they have is more like a convoluted tolerance of one another's presence, at least that's how it feels to Blaine.

But he knows he can't spend the entire summer alone, and he has been growing tired of the view of his bedroom wall. The only way Blaine can alleviate his guilt is if he constantly reminds himself that Sebastian is at least doing something to help. The auction isn't for another two weeks and Sebastian is travelling out to New Jersey for it. He's making an effort to do this for Blaine and to prevent himself from overthinking everything as usual, Blaine has decided to just stop questioning why he's helping him entirely. Things are far from okay and Blaine is nowhere near able to heal yet but he feels like he can cope with the weight of everything for the time being. It's easy to let himself spiral into worry over Kurt when he's alone in his bedroom, at least with Sebastian, Blaine can focus his attention on scowling at the other boy.

* * *

"Blaine!" Blaine looks up from where he'd been staring aggressively into his half empty coffee cup while pointedly ignoring Sebastian's comments that day. Tina is standing there, a tentative smile on her lips as she slowly steps forward. "Hi!"

"H-hey," Blaine greets, his voice deflated, wondering why his heart rate has suddenly sky rocketed.

"How are you?" Tina inquires. Blaine shrugs, lying and saying that he's fine would be pointless. He doesn't return the inquiry. "I...I don't believe we've met," Tina continues, looking at Sebastian and extending her hand. "I'm Tina, I go to school with Blaine." Blaine looks hurriedly between the two before a terrible thought settles over him and he desperately hopes that Tina doesn't think he and Sebastian are dating.

"You're in the New Direction's right? I recognise you from sectionals," Sebastian comments as he takes Tina's offered hand, "Sebastian Smythe, I'm captain of the Warblers," he introduces with a smug grin, knowing exactly that any member of the New Directions would at least recognise the name if not his face.

Tina snatches her hand back almost instantly, looking to Blaine for some indication that it's not true. Blaine rests his head on his hand and refuses to look at her, instead drawing nonsensical patterns on the table with his finger. He honestly feels terrible but there's nothing he can say to fix it, or anything in his life, so just like everything else, he lets her go. Tina storms out of the shop leaving Blaine with nothing but a dirty look. He shouldn't care about what she thinks but it still hurts to know he's disappointed her and the rest of glee yet again.

"I'll be expecting an interrogation any minute now," Blaine comments, mostly to himself, while Sebastian laughs at the disgusted look on Tina's face as she left.

Sure enough, by the time he gets home, his phone has two missed calls from Rachel. He supposes he owes her some sort of explanation, so for once, he decides to pick up the call.

"He's helping me," Blaine announces instead of any sort of pleasantries; he's really not in the mood for that sort of thing.

"What?" Rachel replies, probably shocked that Blaine answered at all.

"Sebastian. I know Tina's probably told you by now, that's why you're calling, right?" Blaine clarifies, tossing his bag in the corner of his room and lying unceremoniously on his bed.

"yes, I..."

"His uncle is taking him to a Hybrid auction, he's going to tell me if he sees Kurt there," Blaine explains.

"Do you really think that's wise? I mean what are you going to do if he _is_ there? You'll just be torturing yourself..."

"I can't just do nothing!" Blaine argues, voice rising in irritation. "I-I just hate being in the dark, I have to know for certain -"

"Okay!" Rachel intercepts calmly, stopping Blaine from winding himself even tighter, "if that's what you feel like you need then okay. And...And if Sebastian is helping you, then okay. I didn't call to yell at you or accuse you of anything, I'm not saying I trust Sebastian and I'm not entirely sure how you're able to but...If he's helping you deal with this then I'm happy. If you feel like you can't turn to us then I'm glad you have _someone_ , even if it’s someone as vile as him. As long as you're sure, okay? I don't want you to get hurt again."

"Thank you Rachel," Blaine says, his voice measured and he ensures to keep any emotion out of his voice before hanging up.

* * *

Blaine hasn't been able to sit still all the day. Sebastian left for New Jersey the day before and he's been beside himself with a constant buzz of worry.

After waking with a jolt, remembering what day it is, he decides to try and calm himself with some breakfast and a strong cup of black coffee. After only a few mouthfuls of food, however, Blaine finds himself wanting to hurl it back up again and decides to stick primarily to his coffee. After today, he may finally be able to put his mind at rest and accept the fact that Kurt is gone and begin to find a way to move on. If everything goes to plan, that is, if Kurt is at that auction...Blaine stops himself from thinking any further, opting to chug down the rest of his coffee instead, refusing to let the dark thoughts manifest.

The TV is unable to occupy Blaine's interest much longer than five minutes and reading is proved useless as his mind simply can't concentrate on the words before him long enough to piece together a simple sentence. His thoughts are focused entirely on the auction as he painstakingly awaits word from Sebastian.

As time goes by, Blaine can't help but feel his hopes slip away. If everything was fine then surely Sebastian would have called or even texted just to put Blaine's mind at ease. He can’t sway the nagging feeling that something isn’t right.

By 10pm, Blaine is a mess. He sits on his bed, staring relentlessly at his phone, quivering while silent tears stream down his cheeks. The auction would be long finished by now and Sebastian isn't answering his phone. It's bad and Blaine knows it. He just doesn't know how to deal with this. Over and over again he pictures Kurt, helpless and afraid, in the arms of some disgusting monster. He hates himself for thinking it but the images are burned into his mind, adamant to stay despite how much he tries to will them away.

He doesn't sleep that night. Every time he drifts off, he's plagued by nightmares of Kurt, cold and naked and afraid. Fuelled by caffeine, Blaine curls into himself on his bed, refusing to sleep but unsure as to what else he's supposed to do now.  He should have listened to his instincts; he should have listened to Rachel when she told him this was a bad idea.

By the time light is streaming through the gaps in his curtains, Blaine isn't sure what is real any more until he can hear his mom shouting something to him from downstairs and, as if from nowhere, Sebastian appears shortly after in his bedroom doorway.

Immediately, Blaine looks up, heart leaping out of his chest. Sebastian's face is solemn, he must have just got back from New Jersey and is here to relay the devastating news to Blaine.

Before Sebastian can even say a word, Blaine breaks down into tears, his hand reaching up to cover his mouth and prevent him from screaming. His face says it all, Kurt was there.

But then Sebastian is smiling widely, laughing while shaking his head as he closes the door behind him and Blaine is so tired that he can barely make sense of anything anymore. Why is Sebastian smiling? He knows he's not exactly fond of Kurt but this is by no means a cause for celebration.

"You're so cute when you're terrified," he says with his usual trademark smirk and all of the angst drains out of him as though someone turned a tap and emptied him of it. It’s replaced immediately by white hot rage. He rises from the bed, storms towards Sebastian and before his brain actually makes a conscious decision, Blaine's fist lands squarely in his face, sending him reeling back into the closed door.

"You had me worried _sick!_ " Blaine screams, "You can't just toy with my emotions like that, this is serious, Sebastian!"

Sebastian's hands fly up in defeat, blocking his face from any further attacks

"Okay, Okay!" he relents, giving Blaine a second to cool down though his anger refuses to dissipate.

"What happened," he demands breathlessly.

"Kurt wasn't there!"

The relief is unlike anything Blaine has ever felt. He takes several steps back before the backs of his knees collide with his bed and he finds himself sinking back down. Hearing it said out loud and so plainly is, without a doubt, the best thing Blaine has ever heard. It's like a dark cloud suddenly seeps out of his heart, leaving him feeling as though he's floating on air. His fury at Sebastian is still very much at a high and he's not unaware of the fact that he's still in his bedroom, cradling his aching jaw but, for just a few seconds, Blaine lets himself breathe with the good news, despite the form it came in.

"Why didn't you just call me?" Blaine growls after a few moments of contemplation, his voice considerably calmer now, "do you have any idea of the torture you put me through?" Sebastian shrugs, giving his jaw one last rub before leaving it alone and slowly stepping closer to where Blaine sits on the bed.

"I wanted to see how far I could push you until you finally snapped," Sebastian says, his grin refusing to falter, "I guess I found your limit."

"What is wrong with you?" Blaine asks rhetorically, glaring up at Sebastian who hovers over him, "God, I can't believe I thought you could actually be a decent person."

Sebastian barks out a laugh.

"Neither can I. What was you thinking?"

"You can go now," Blaine tells him, wanting nothing more than to enjoy this victory without Sebastian lingering.

"I just flew to New Jersey and back for you and I don't even get a thank you?" Sebastian asks incredulously and despite his anger, Blaine does feel a slight pinch of guilt.

"Thank you, Sebastian," he says reluctantly, averting his gaze. Sebastian seems unwilling to leave however and takes a seat beside Blaine on the bed. "And…Sorry I punched you."

Sebastian shrugs once more, his smile turning bizarrely affectionate.

"It's okay, I deserved it. I guess I went a little too far, huh?" Blaine says nothing, letting his mind wander to the fact that wherever Kurt is, he's safe. "It feels great though, doesn't it? The relief?  After all that worrying...now you can relax, right?"

"I guess," Blaine whispers, wishing Sebastian would leave.

"And you can finally move on."

At Sebastian's words, Blaine turns to look at the boy beside him. He's wearing an expression that Blaine has never seen on him before and, honestly, it looks completely alien. "Kurt's been gone a month, he's not coming back."

A hand is resting on his thigh and it takes Blaine a good few seconds before he realises it could only be Sebastian's. The lack of sleep is really catching up to him because he swears that Sebastian is moving closer and-

There are lips pressing against his own but that can't be possible because the only person that can kiss him is Kurt and Kurt's not here anymore. Sebastian is here though so...So Sebastian must be the one kissing him.

Blaine pulls back the moment the thought registers in his exhausted mind. Sebastian's eyes are hooded as they slowly blink half open and all Blaine can do is shake his head. Sebastian moves in again but Blaine manages to place his hand firmly against his shoulder, keeping him from coming any closer.

"No," he whispers, unable to conjure any other words.

"Blaine-"

" _No,_ " he repeats, firmer this time and Sebastian seems to deflate with defeat. "Go," Blaine begs, "please."

"You can't be in love with him forever. He's gone," Sebastian says spitefully and Blaine feels his words like a thousand stabs to his chest.

"That doesn't mean I'm going to immediately transfer my affections to you. Please, just get out of my house." Blaine is beginning to feel his skin itch merely by being in his presence. He needs to sleep now, sound in the knowledge that Kurt is safe.

"The things I do for a fuck, and I don't even get it in the end!" Sebastian spits, rising from the bed angrily and Blaine feels his stomach sink.

"You said you didn't want anything from me when you offered to do this."

"Whatever," Sebastian scowls, wrenching open the door.

"Wait," Blaine says before he can leave. "Did you...you did go to the auction, right. You weren't just playing with me?" He's not sure he can trust anything Sebastian says any more but he just needs some form of clarification.

"Yes."

"And Kurt..."

"Wasn't there," Sebastian mutters, clearly aggravated. 

"Thank you." Sebastian leaves after that without another word and Blaine won't be sorry if he never hears from him again

It takes him a while to come to terms with the fact that that just happened but he can't focus on it for long. Sebastian is an asshole, he always has been and he always will be. There's only one thing on his mind and Blaine is surprised he didn't see this coming, he lies through his teeth and, like he said at the Lima Bean, he knows how to get what he wants. Well if what he wants is Blaine then that's something he'll never have. Blaine's heart belongs to Kurt and even if they never see each other again, Blaine is sure he'll never be able to fully offer it to anyone else.

And he just feels so guilty that Sebastian got a piece of him that had previously only belonged to Kurt. They shared a kiss, something he's never done with anyone else other than the boy he loves. It's just one kiss, nothing much in the big scheme of things, but from Sebastian of all people, the person at the root of the reason as to why Kurt had to leave…Blaine can't believe he had started to trust him. Kurt would certainly have a lot to say on the matter if he were here and for a split second, Blaine is glad he's _not_ here to see what just happened. 


	16. Chapter 16

It doesn't feel like summer.

Sure, the sky is a vast, unbroken, canvas of blue most days; the heat is so stifling it can be difficult to breathe; and the sound of children playing around the neighbourhood has become a constant, like the birds singing in the trees, but to Blaine, it just doesn't feel like summer.

Last year, he had been preparing to transfer to McKinley, the anticipation of starting anew made him feel fresh and eager and ready to try again someplace new, as he slowly forgot about the bullying from his past schools. This year, once again, he's been given the opportunity for a fresh start. After spending most of the school year friendless and despised, Blaine finally has the new directions back on his side. But it's not what he wants.

They mean well and they only want to help him but Blaine can't bring himself to see his old friends, he doesn't want to hear their apologies and condolences, he doesn't want to hear _'I told you so'_  when they find out about what happened with Sebastian, he doesn't want to see them or have them sing to him or anything, he just wants his boyfriend back.

Can he even call Kurt his boyfriend anymore? It's been almost two months since he left and Blaine feels like his life is just standing still. Two months of not seeing his face, not hearing his voice or his laughter, not feeling his skin beneath his own, it's been torturous.

Blaine hates that he allowed himself to hope for anything. Every morning since he left, Blaine routinely checks his cell phone for any texts, missed calls or voice messages and searches his mail box for anything addressed to him, though nothing is ever from Kurt. He knows he's getting desperate when he begins checking his emails; Kurt doesn't even have an email address.

Eventually, Blaine stops checking altogether.

Kurt isn't coming back.

Apart from the few times he had gone out with Sebastian, Blaine has barely left his bedroom since Kurt's graduation, much to his mother's annoyance.

"This is ridiculous, Blaine!" She tells him one day, having finally decided she's had enough. Blaine lays on his bed, mindlessly watching television, barely paying attention to what he's even watching but desperate to do something to pass the time.

His mother storms over to his window, opening the curtains so light fills the darkened room before opening the window to let in some fresh air. Blaine shields his eyes from the sudden intrusion of light as they adjust.

"Mom!" he croaks, having not used his voice in several days.

"Look, Blaine, I know you're upset. The first break up is never easy but it's been weeks. You can't sit up here and mope all summer, it's not going to do you any good!" Blaine wants to protest, to scream and shout that she doesn't understand, that he and Kurt didn't just break up, but he can't without explaining everything. Instead he sighs and says nothing while his mother continues to rant.

"What ever happened to Sebastian anyway? You two were starting to get close and now you never see him anymore."

"Sebastian and I aren't friends anymore," Blaine comments and he hates how petty he sounds.

His mother sighs. "It's a beautiful day out, why don't you call your friends from McKinley and do something with them?" she suggests.

"I don't feel like it," Blaine mumbles petulantly. He's usually never like this with his parents, he never wanted to become that moody teen who never lets his parents in on his life but a lot of this past year hasn't exactly gone to plan.

"Well if you're staying home all summer then you're going to help me out in the garden. The lawn needs mowing and there's weeding to do and the garage desperately needs clearing out and -"

"Fine, I'll call my damn friends!" Blaine grumbles, having finally found something even less desirable than spending time with them. He really hates clearing out the garage.

"Watch your mouth," his mother says warningly and Blaine feels a little guilty about snapping, he's never been one to curse at his parents but, seemingly pleased when Blaine reaches phone, his mother finally leaves him be.

Blaine could easily just toss his phone back onto his night stand and go back to watching whatever garbage is on television but he knows his mom would be on his back again if he did. He sends a text to Rachel in response to the many unread messages she has left him over the last month before getting up and gelling his hair for the first time in weeks, lately he just hasn't felt much like making an effort.

As it turns out, Finn is having a barbeque that day and Blaine had been sent multiple invitations over the past week. Blaine supposes he could show for a short while at least to please both his parents and his friends.

The moment he shows up at Finn's, Rachel is there hugging him tightly. Blaine merely stands still, arms at his side and body stiff.

"We missed you," she says, smiling up at him.

"Really," Blaine replies with a slight edge of sarcasm to his voice, he can't help it but he's still mad at Rachel and the others for the spiteful revenge they enacted upon Kurt. Rachel has the audacity to look hurt at Blaine's remark but he pursues it no further. He's not here to start arguments and cause even more friction between him and his friends.

Rachel was incredibly supportive when he had been friendly with Sebastian and even though she had been absolutely right, there's no trace of her holding it against him whatsoever and for that Blaine is grateful.

Despite how little she really knows about the situation, Blaine's mom is right, now that Kurt's gone, Blaine's left with no one. Kurt was his whole world and suddenly now he's gone. The last two months have been unbearable and if his friends are willing to forgive him for crushing their hopes at a national championship then maybe he can at least try make amends with them.

Because at the end of the day, he needs the support. Sitting in his room all day every day has only lead him to spiral further into his depression.

"Hey, man," Finn greets hesitantly after Rachel leads him to the garden where everyone is gathered. The group goes silent the moment they notice Blaine standing there awkwardly, the music playing obnoxiously from the stereo is the only thing that penetrates the silence. Blaine swallows thickly, wondering why he ever thought this would be a good idea.

Just as he's about to turn and walk straight out again, Mike hands him a bottle of cider with a pat on the back and the girls give him a welcoming wave from where they're sat on the grass.

It's awkward but Blaine is nowhere near as uncomfortable as he thought he would be. He sits with everyone on the grass while Finn mans the barbeque (most of the food ends up burned before Sam takes over). It's difficult to pretend the last year never happened, and that, for the most part, these people had hated him. Blaine is sure they feel the same way but no one addresses it. Blaine doesn't say much at all, though it's nice to just listen to the carefree chatter around him and pretend that everything is okay, even if it's just for a little while.

His main thought is that Kurt would have loved this. If everything hadn't fallen to pieces, if he and Kurt had stayed in glee club and everyone had stayed friends, then Kurt would be here right now with everyone. Saying farewell to the other seniors as they prepare for the next big step in their lives.

Before Blaine knows it, an hour has gone by, then another, and he finds himself contributing to the conversations, laughing at everyone's jokes and asking about plans for college. It feels surreal, like going back to the start and beginning again.

After what Sam managed to salvage from the barbeque has been passed around and Blaine has been convinced to eat something, everything seems to slow down and Blaine finds it surprisingly easy to just relax. Once the initial awkwardness and catching up has passed, everything feels…normal. The only thing missing is Kurt, Blaine remembers with a pang in his chest and feels guilty for forgetting that he's supposed to be miserable but then Finn is handing him another blackened burger and Blaine is half laughing and half grimacing at the state of it, wondering how on earth this could possibly be considered food.

Soon enough the coals of the barbeque have cooled and the sun is setting, a soft breeze taking the place of the relentless sunshine, leaving Blaine's bare arms scattered with goosebumps. No one moves from the garden, though. It's maybe one of the last times that everyone will be together like this. After the summer, the seniors will be off to college aside from Finn, who's looking for a job and Rachel, who's decided to join the local community theatre before reapplying for NYADA in the fall. Although Blaine does feel a little bad that it's because of his and Kurt's carelessness that she was rejected, he's happy that she hasn't given up.

Eventually and inevitably, the conversation moves to Kurt. Rachel had told the glee club the basics of what happened. They all saw Kurt at graduation, they saw what he had been hiding for years, she just filled in all the blanks she had managed to gather from Blaine that night, which wasn't an awful lot.

"Do you have any idea where he is?" Sam asks and suddenly all eyes are focused on Blaine who shakes his head in response. "You mean he hasn't called you at all?"

"No," Blaine snaps and regrets it instantly, they're only asking because they care.  _And because they feel guilty_  a shady area of Blaine's mind supplies. "And he's not going to," Blaine continues, voice softer now. "He can't, it would give him away. I have no idea where he is, if he's even safe or what."

"But he wasn't…he wasn't at that place that Sebastian went to, right?" Rachel inquires cautiously. Blaine feels a slight weight leave his chest at the reminder, he smiles softly and shakes his head.

"No, he wasn't there."

"Blaine we're…we're really sorry," Sam says, "we had no idea."

Blaine sniffs, feeling the tears beginning to pool in his eyes.

"I know, I know," he says, voice breaking, "I'm sorry that we dragged you into all of this, I'm sorry that you never got a chance at regionals and Rachel, I'm so sorry you didn't get into NYADA."

Everyone is moving closer and shushing him. There are arms wrapping around him and Blaine can't figure out whose is whose, all his brain can comprehend is that fact that he's being held and all of these people care about him and just want to help without expecting anything in return.

Tina is crying too, and Blaine finds her hand to squeeze it. No one says much as everyone leans into each other with Blaine in the centre. Even Santana who avoids being near anyone at all costs is enveloped on both sides.

Blaine forgets that these people have known Kurt for so much longer than he has. The last year may have been difficult, but Kurt had been a part of their lives for so long and Blaine feels guilty for thinking that they weren't allowed to grieve for him.

As the sun sinks behind the trees and the sky morphs into a melancholy orange, Blaine feels at home for the first time in weeks. Maybe forgiveness is the only way he can start to heal again.

"To Kurt!" Puck says, raising his glass towards the dusky sky. Everyone smiles before reaching their glasses and clinking them together. Blaine rests his elbows on his knees, smiling softly down at his half empty bottle before Puck speaks up again.

"And to Blaine, for sticking by him this whole time."

"To Blaine!" the group choruses.

* * *

Summer vacation promptly ends just two weeks later and Blaine is faced with the reality that he's to start his senior year alone. His relationship with the New Directions is mending but not quite yet perfect and Blaine is just trying to figure out how to walk on his own again. He's not used to being just a singular person, for the last year, he hadn't been Blaine, but instead one half of Blaine-and-Kurt.

But he  _is_  getting better. With every day that passes, Blaine checks his phone less and less. Sebastian has, thank god, stopped texting him, and the New Directions have finally decided to give him some space after his appearance at Finn's barbeque assured them that he was doing okay. Most days, his phone remains silent, no new messages or missed calls and Blaine can't figure out if he's relieved at the sudden peace it brings or not. He knows that Kurt won't call, but he misses the flare of hope that would arise every time a new message would come through.

Summer seems to have passed far too quickly and Blaine can't quite figure out where the time went as he's getting dressed for his first day of senior year. Picking his clothes carefully, Blaine makes sure he's dressed in an outfit that he's sure Kurt would be proud of, finishing his look of with one of his favourite bowties.

The moment he steps back into McKinley High, every possible thing reminds Blaine of Kurt. Everything is a bitter reminder of what he lost; what he should have tried harder to protect; of the vow he made and then broke when he failed to keep Kurt from harm. Passing Kurt's old locker, Blaine has to physically remind himself to breathe, forcing his eyes away from it.

The New Directions are helpful enough, they keep their distance when it's clear Blaine would rather be alone and they don't push him to talk but Blaine knows that the offer to be with them is always open. They cover up for Kurt, telling Jacob Ben Israel that what happened at graduation was just a prank and letting him run the story on his blog and Blaine is truly grateful to have them back on his side.

Inevitably, Blaine's studies pile up and, as much as he hates to admit it, he thinks of Kurt less and less every day.  _Kurt's gone_. Sometimes Blaine has to repeat the phrase to himself over and over again to try and focus his attention on reality but, more often than not, since returning to school, Blaine has found it far easier to just keep going and ignore the constant ache that Kurt left him when he fled. He lets Kurt take a backseat in his thoughts, deciding it altogether less painful to throw himself head first into something he can easily focus his attentions to.

"So, Blaine," Miss Pillsbury says, speaking in her usual optimistic tone, "I just wanted to know if you had any plans for college and how you're getting on with your applications," she asks. Miss Pillsbury likes to make appointments with students she feels may need a little pushing in order to get their applications sorted and Blaine isn't surprised in the least when he finds out that's why he was called to her office. He has sort of been moping around ever since school started.

Blaine shrugs in response, in all honesty, he hasn't given college even a second of thought. All he can think about is a conversation he had months ago with Kurt, both of them resting contentedly on his bed and Kurt had brought up the subject of college. He'd expressed his fears of Blaine leaving him to go to college somewhere where Kurt would be unable to follow. Blaine wants to laugh at the absurdity of everything, how backwards Kurt's fears had been and how Blaine should have been the one dreading the future all along. This only serves to make him feel awful, however, because although Blaine may have it bad, Kurt most likely isn't having the time of his life. Blaine can't imagine what it must be like to have your entire life uprooted in a second and he longs to be wherever Kurt is, just to hold him and assure him that everything will be fine even if he doesn't quite believe it himself.

Miss Pillsbury coughs, bringing Blaine's attention back to the conversation at hand. Blaine actually has no idea where he wants to go to college or even what he wants to study. He likes the idea of getting out of Lima, of starting anew and going somewhere where it will be altogether easier to just forget everything but at the same time, Blaine is still clinging to the childish and futile hope that Kurt might come back. If Blaine leaves, then they'll never find each other.

"What path are you looking to go down?" Miss Pillsbury asks and Blaine tells her the truth, that he doesn't know, that he hasn't thought about it, that's he's not sure he  _wants_  to think about it but Miss Pillsbury has none of it.

As an expert in dealing with moody teenager, she somehow convinces Blaine to take the handful of brochures and prospectuses and to research future career paths and Blaine takes them, convincing himself that it's just to get her to leave him alone.

Glancing at them only briefly once he arrives home, Blaine dumps them on his desk when none of them grab his attention, intending to let them gather dust before opening his laptop to start his History assignment. Checking his emails ritualistically, Blaine groans upon discovering two emails from NYU and NYADA regarding application requirements and deadlines, wishing Miss Pillsbury would just leave it. College is the last thing he wants to think about, the day he goes to college is the day he shuts this chapter of his life completely. Once he leaves Lima, he'll have no hope of ever seeing Kurt again. They'll both be lost to each other forever.

But Blaine knows he can't wait around forever, he can't keep holding on to the past, hoping that he can relive the most perfect year of his life with the most beautiful boy he'd ever met. Every moment he spends dreaming is a moment he wastes, watching his life go right by him. Maybe Blaine doesn't have big, ambitious dreams of going to a fancy college somewhere but he doesn't want to end up living every day like the last, working a job he hates while reminiscing of the days when he still had hopes. He remembers something Kurt told him that afternoon when they had been discussing their future together, barely a week after they first became boyfriends;

_Don't you dare say you'll stay just for me._

And though their situation has vastly changed, Blaine knows that he still can't ignore Kurt's wishes.

"So have you given it any thought?" Miss Pillsbury asks the next week when Blaine goes to see her. He still has no real dreams for his future but he does want to get out of Lima. Perhaps closing this chapter will finally let him move on with his life, will make the pain go away and Blaine can finally let go of the constant worry as to whether Kurt is okay or not.

"I guess I'll apply to NYADA," Blaine tells her, setting his sights on New York City.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just realised I forgot to post this here, oops!

"You're applying to NYADA?!" Rachel demands, barely giving Blaine a moment to get a word in when he answers the door. Inviting herself inside, Rachel unloads her armful of papers and folders onto the coffee table and Blaine stumbles after her in confusion, remembering to close the front door behind her.

"I...I guess," he says in a daze.

"You guess?" Rachel hisses, "Blaine, NYADA isn't some back up school you can fall into if you have no dreams to do anything with your life," she says harshly as she takes a seat on Blaine's sofa while Blaine opts to stay standing, arms folded across his chest. "I didn't even make it into NYADA, through no fault of my own but still! Admission is tough, you won't be able to just charm your way in." Blaine feels a sting of guilt, remembering that it was largely his fault that Rachel didn't make it in to the college of her dreams. He knows it wasn't directly aimed at him but he can't help but feel as though it was. Before he can dwell on it for too long, however, Rachel is talking again, Blaine wonders if she even stopped talking at all. "I've compiled a list of possible audition songs you can perform, ones that I feel best suit your voice and will make the most memorable impression." Rachel spreads the paper across the table and Blaine can now see that it's nothing but sheet music from various artists. "And I may have gone through your school record, but I wanted to make sure you had enough extra curriculars for them to even consider you. It's a shame you missed out on almost a year of glee but if you join again this year and take Nationals by storm then I think you might just make the cut." Blaine snatches the folder from Rachel's grasp, finding his file from his old school amongst his McKinley record as well.

" _Rachel!_ " he scolds, "how did you even get this?"

"I just told Principle Figgins that Puck started a fire in the courtyard, I don't think he realises that Puck graduated...or even that I graduated."

Blaine takes a seat cross-legged on the floor in front of the coffee table as he looks through everything Rachel has compiled, feeling a little overwhelmed by it all. In all honesty, he had planned to wing it, he hasn't given much thought into his application and he'd only told Miss Pillsbury he'd apply to NYADA to get her to stop pestering him. He wants to get out of Lima, both for himself and his promise to Kurt but there's something blocking him, something that's stopping him from being one hundred percent committed to getting accepted into college.

"Why are you doing this?" he eventually asks Rachel.

"I'm helping you," she responds, looking hurt by his questioning.

"I know but...why? Don't you have your own future to worry about?" He doesn't intend for it to sound so bitter but he can't help his tone, he's suspicious and still weary of the whole idea of college, despite how thrilled his mother had been when he mentioned he was going to apply to NYADA.

"I..." Rachel pauses before deciding on her answer, "well, my official reason is because you're my friend and I'm looking out for you but…I guess the  _real_  reason is because I really don't want to go there alone," Blaine watches as Rachel's face falls and she seems to fold in on herself. In all the time Blaine has known her, he's never seen her look so vulnerable, she's the very definition of confidence and here she is looking like anyone else but Rachel Berry. "I have no idea what I'm doing," she whispers, "New York is my dream but...the thought of leaving here, leaving my dads, my friends, leaving  _Finn_ , it's terrifying. It's selfish but I really want someone there with me. I've met a lot of amazing people in glee but I've never had someone I can call my best friend and when I heard you were applying to NYADA I sort of jumped at the chance. I'm reapplying for next year, and I thought we could do it together." Blaine studies her for a moment, she looks down at the pile of papers with eyes of longing. She wants to go to New York so badly but she's still just a teenage girl trying desperately to figure out her future and make the transition from child to adult. Blaine knows how she feels, also scared to make that last leap into his future although for different reasons. Maybe it wouldn't be so difficult if they both knew there'd be someone to catch them on the other side.

"So what song do you think I should sing?" Blaine ask.

* * *

The next few weeks are torturous. Rachel is relentless with coaching Blaine. He admits he needs some work after not practising for most of the year but her schedule is so demanding, Blaine has to plan bathroom trips so he doesn't end dancing from foot to foot on a full bladder while Rachel insists they take it from the top for the seventeenth time.

She also convinces him to join glee again and, after very little convincing, Mr Schue agrees to let her assist him as glee club director. Tina, Sam, Artie and the rest of the members from last year welcome him back with open arms as well as some of the new, younger members who have joined to raise their numbers and don't know about what happened the year before. It doesn't take long for Blaine to get back into the swing of things and for him to realise just how much he missed being in glee club.

By coaching the club, Rachel has yet another thing to add to her NYADA application which makes Blaine all the more determined to win for her sake. When Mr Schue goes on sabbatical, Rachel jumps at the opportunity to ask Finn to help her coach the glee club too, and just like that, Blaine feels as though he's gone back in time, with Finn and Rachel being the power couple in glee once again, only this time they have even more power than he'd like to acknowledge.

Rachel suggests that Blaine join some clubs to give his own application a boost and Blaine decides to run for class president despite Brittany's protests. He has to admit, with everything suddenly going on in his life, he barely has time to think of Kurt any more. The times when he does spring to mind are still painful and Blaine feels guilty for forgetting about him sometimes but it lifts such a weight off his mind that he knows he's doing the right thing. He can't mope forever, especially when there's nothing he can do. Before he knows it, Blaine has so many extra curriculars and clubs to add to his application that he feels like he could easily drown under them.

Rachel comes over to his house after school twice a week to help him write up his application and after 2 months, 4 extra curriculars, a win at sectionals, a presidential election win and twenty two scrapped versions of his resume, Blaine finally has an application that Rachel deems worthy. All that's left now is to wait.

Christmas comes far too quickly and Blaine tries to keep busy enough to keep his mind off of Kurt but with school finished for the year and Rachel on a Christmas cruise with her dads, Blaine has little to occupy himself with.

He ends up spending most of Christmas break curled up on the sofa in his favourite pyjamas, watching the Gossip Girl boxset Kurt got him the year before. He can't help but wonder if Kurt's having a nice Christmas, if he and his dad have had their turkey sandwiches and are watching sports together while Kurt pretends to be interested. He hopes more than anything that he's happy and safe and chooses to believe that they are. It's Christmas; to believe anything else would only cause even more heartache.

* * *

Christmas passes and The New Directions are in full preparation mode for Regionals. Though Rachel and Finn work them hard in Mr Schue's absence, Blaine is glad for yet another thing to focus his attentions on. He has a solo and also features heavily in the group number so Blaine stays late at school most nights with Rachel fine tuning his voice as well as getting him ready for a possible audition for NYADA.

It's mid-March when he finally receives his letter.

"So I thought today after our vocal runs we could go over..." Rachel rattles on as glee club finishes and the duo prepare for their private rehearsal.

"Rachel," Blaine interrupts, pulling the envelope from his bag. It's not until she turns to face Blaine and sees what's in his hand that she finally stops talking, eyes widening as they fix on the slim white envelope. "It came this morning."

Rushing to her own bag, Rachel pulls an almost identical letter from in between her notebook before returning to sit beside Blaine at the piano.

"I got mine last week."

"Have you opened it?" Blaine asks. Rachel shakes her head. "Me neither."

"We'll do it together?" she suggests and Blaine nods, putting his thumb under the tab as Rachel does the same. "On the count of three. One..."

"Two."

"Three," they both say in unison, ripping open the letters with heavily pounding hearts. Blaine pulls out the folded white paper, hands shaking as he carefully unfolds it, eyes scanning the text. There are too many words, all he needs is a yes or no and, finally, as his eyes reach the bottom of the page, he sees the sentence he's looking for.

_We are pleased to inform you that, upon receiving your application, you have been selected as a finalist. Please find further details overleaf as to when your audition will take place._

Blaine's mouth breaks into a grin as he reads, chest bubbling with excitement, before he remembers Rachel. He looks up to gage her reaction and sees her face betraying no emotion. Stomach sinking, Blaine assumes the worst.

"Rach?"

"I'm a finalist," she says in a small voice, banishing Blaine's fear but he still can't figure out her gloomy tone.

"That's great!" he exclaims, wishing she'd share his excitement. He's not sure when it happened, but Blaine is actually looking forward to going to college again. He suspects it may have something to do with the emails for discounted coffee in New York he's been getting ever since he applied.

Rachel shrugs. "I got this far last time before I choked my audition," she mumbles. "I'm not going to get my hopes up until I nail it."

"You choked?" Blaine asks, he'd been so out of touch with the New Directions last year, he had no idea and Rachel had kept insisting she didn't get in because the New Directions had no wins to their name last year.

"I...it was the scariest audition I've ever been to. I was just sitting backstage shaking the whole time and when I got on stage I just...fell apart." This doesn't exactly fill Blaine with confidence about his own audition. If Rachel Berry couldn't hold it together then how was he supposed to make it in? "I know I used you as a scapegoat but I really didn't want to face the reality that maybe I just wasn't good enough. I'm so sorry," she says, eyes wide with unshed tears. Blaine had no idea she had been hurting this much. She must have been torturing herself over this ever since she messed up her audition and for Rachel of all people to feel as though she isn't good enough is enough to tell Blaine that something is really wrong.

After a comforting pat on the back, Blaine opens up the folder he and Rachel had carefully compiled over the last few months and pulls out several sheets of music.

"Come on," he says, positioning his hands on the piano keys after nudging Rachel to stand up. "We're going to rehearse,  _both_  of us. And we are gonna kill this audition. Rachel nods with a faint smile and the two begin their vocal warm ups.

* * *

By the time the audition comes, Blaine knows he's ready. He's nervous, but it's manageable, he doesn't want to be over confident. Rachel is struggling with her own nerves, but she hasn't messed up once in any of their rehearsals.

Blaine waits backstage, his whole body bouncing nervously as Rachel walks up on stage, ready for her second chance.

Carmen Tibideaux sits alone in the auditorium and Blaine peaks through a gap in the curtain to discover the wholly unimpressed look on her face and his heart pounds for Rachel's sake. He wants her to nail this more than he wants himself to.

"Rachel Berry," Ms Tibideaux greets, her voice low and drawling.

"Good afternoon Ms Tibideaux, Thank so much for taking the time to come here again," Rachel says with a slight tremor in her voice.

"Will you be remembering the lyrics this time or will I have wasted another trip?" she asks casually but the question has Rachel grasping at words, trying to find a response.

"I...I," she stutters and Blaine wants nothing more than to go out there and comfort her but he knows it will not help her cause. "I'm going to be my very best," she answers and Carmen nods, gesturing for her to start.

The sound of the piano only gives Rachel a moment to prepare herself but once she opens her mouth, her voice is crystal clear and stunningly beautiful and Blaine knows for certain she'll be fine.

_Midnight not a sound from the pavement_

_Has the moon lost her memory?_

_She is smiling alone_

_In the lamplight, the withered leaves collect at my feet_

_And the wind begins to moan_

It had taken more songs than Blaine could keep track of before they finally decided upon Memory by Elaine Paige and Blaine is certain they made the right decision, hearing her belt out the words so confidently sends shivers down his spine and if she didn't get in then it was truly NYADA's loss.

_Touch me!_

_It's so easy to leave me_

_All alone with the memory_

_Of my days in the sun_

_If you touch me, you'll understand what happiness is_

_Look, a new day has begun._

She finishes the song and Carmen Tibideaux claps four times before leaning forward to speak.

"Much improved from last year, Miss Berry, thank you," is all she says. Rachel nods, leaving without another word. She looks like she's seen a ghost when she stands before Blaine, eyes wide yet vacant and muscles unresponsive.

Blaine embraces her hugging her tightly as he feels her body go limp in his arms.

"I did it..." she murmurs but it seems like more of a question. "Did I? This is real, right? I did it, I'm not dreaming?"

"You're not dreaming," Blaine assures before releasing her and she finally smiles, jumping up and down and bringing Blaine with her.

"Blaine Anderson!" A harsh voice calls from the other side of the curtain and Blaine stiffens. It's his turn.

"You're going to be amazing," Rachel assures him before kissing him on the cheek and sending him in the direction of the stage.

Ms Tibideaux had been intimidating enough from when Blaine was stood backstage. Standing in front of her with her critiquing eyes and unaffected face has Blaine struggling to remember his own name.

"Good afternoon, young man," she greets with the subtlest of smiles, reminding Blaine that she's only human and the worst she can possibly do is reject him. "What will you be performing?"

"Nobody's Perfect, by Jessie J," he says. It had taken him and Rachel forever to come to the decision, wondering if singing a pop song would jeopardise his chances. But, judging from Rachel's previous attempt, they had decided that it was, as contradictory as it sounds, safer to go with the riskier choice.

Ms Tibideaux says nothing as the band's guitarist plays the opening bars to the song. They'd opted for an acoustic version, thinking it suited Blaine's voice better and before Blaine knows it, he's uttering the first verse.

_When I'm nervous I have this thing, yeah, I talk too much_

_Sometimes I just can't shut the hell up_

_It's like I need to tell someone, anyone who'll listen_

_And that's where I seem to fuck up_

_Yeah, I forget about the consequences_

_For a minute there I lose my senses_

_And in the heat of the moment my mouth starts going_

_The words start flowing, oh_

For the first time in months, Kurt fills Blaine's mind utterly and completely, expanding through every crevice of his thoughts and overtaking everything until Blaine is performing on autopilot. He tries to push him away, knowing he needs to focus on his audition but all he can think about is how he's living out the dream that _Kurt_  had always wanted. Kurt wanted to be a performer, Kurt wanted the stage, Kurt wanted the spotlights and the band but he could never even allow himself to hope for any of it. The guilt smacks him at full force, he'd gotten so wrapped up in his future that he had forgotten the love of his life, he feels so guilty for moving on, for forgetting.

It's then that he realises he hasn't moved on at all, Blaine has just been pushing himself and pushing himself, forcing himself to join all these clubs and activities, in the hopes that it would make the pain go away for a little while. He can't remember the last time he was truly alone with his thoughts and now that he's baring his soul to a complete stranger, it all seems to catch up to Blaine at once.

Instead of pushing the thoughts away, Blaine finally lets them in, remembering the smile that had started to fade, the laughter that he can only just recall, the smooth feel of his ears as they used to twitch softly under Blaine's fingertips.

_If I could turn back the hands of time_

_I swear I never would've crossed that line_

_I should of kept it between us_

_But, no, I went and told the whole world how I feel and oh_

By the time Blaine finishes, it's like a bucket of cold water has been tossed over him when he realises that he isn't the only one in the auditorium and the sound of Carmen's clapping jolts him back to reality.

"That was very heartfelt Mr Anderson, very well done." With that she picks up her purse and leaves Blaine standing alone on the stage, feeling ripped bare and exposed for everyone to see, despite the fact that there's hardly anyone around. His heart pounds and it's the only thing he can focus on until he hears Rachel's heels clicking on the stage, the sound like a metronome.

"Blaine?" she says cautiously and Blaine responds only by sucking in a huge breath. He doesn't even realise he's crying until Rachel wraps her arms around him and he feels the wet patches on his cheek brush against the soft cotton of her sweater.

"I miss Kurt," he whimpers and Rachel holds him tighter.

"I know," she responds.

* * *

Blaine and Rachel have found themselves with so much more free time now that they're no longer in a flurry of preparation. Rachel spends a lot of her time with Finn, but she and Blaine still make sure to meet up frequently. Blaine's not sure when it happens but their conversations slowly start turning to Kurt more and more often. The subject is something they rarely talk about in glee club and Blaine is fine with that. He could do without the constant reminder of his heartache, especially while at school. But it's nice to have at least  _someone_ he can talk to about him.

Rachel seems to have a lot of questions;  _how did you find out about him? When was your first kiss? What do his ears feel like?_  Blaine surprises himself by talking for hours about Kurt and Rachel listens with an awed smile on her face. It's therapeutic, being able to talk about him without the subject being focused on the part where Kurt had to leave and Rachel is, surprisingly, a good listener. For the first time in their newfound friendship, Blaine finds himself talking more than Rachel.

The pain doesn't go away by letting Kurt into his thoughts once more, but neither does it hurt any more than usual. It's just there, a constant ache that Blaine just has to deal with.

Time passes quickly and Nationals is soon upon them. After being featured heavily in both Sectionals and Regionals, Blaine takes a step back to let the newer kids shine and, to everyone's jubilation, they win.

Rachel and Finn hug everyone back stage and Blaine suddenly feels so terrible that he gets this when Rachel never even had the chance when she was a senior but she waves away his guilt without a second thought.

"I'm counting this as my win too, since I coached all of you for most of the year," she says with a smile.

Blaine actually feels as though his life is piecing itself back together. He killed his audition, he won nationals, he has a plan for his future, and something to look forward to. All he's waiting for now is an acceptance letter from NYADA. It's not the future he would have chosen for himself a year ago, but it's something. He's going to New York with his best friend, to hopefully study at one of the toughest dramatic arts academy in the country. There's a lot that's missing, a lot that he has no way of getting back, but Blaine has two options; he can mourn the life he could have had forever, or he can settle for second best and move on.

The day he receives a letter from the admissions office, Blaine feels like he can't breathe, every time he sucks in a breath, it feels as though he's trapped in a vacuum with no oxygen for miles.

It's a Saturday and he sits crossed legged on his bed, phone pressed to his ear as he calls Rachel, the letter shaking between his fingers.

The phone is answered with a loud screaming that has Blaine pulling the phone away from his ear at lightning speed. He holds it at arm's length and even so, he can hear Rachel's screams of  _"I got in! I got in!"_

"That's amazing!" he responds once she finally stops screaming and Blaine deems it safe to hold the phone against his ear again. "I got a letter too," he says calmly.

"I...oh my god, did you not make it? Blaine I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to rub it in I had no idea," she babbles.

"Actually, I haven't opened it yet," he tells her.

"Well what are you waiting for? Open it! Right now!" she demands and Blaine smiles as he balances the phone between his ear and shoulder and uses both hands to carefully open the envelope, his anticipation building as he pulls the glue apart.

"What's taking so long?" Rachel cries over the phone as he takes his time.

Blaine ignores her as he unfolds the letter, eyes scanning over the words, heart beating so hard he can feel it pounding in his throat before he whispers in a voice dripping with relief,

"I got in."


	18. Chapter 18

**June 2012**

The atmosphere in the car is nothing less than bleak. Kurt hasn't said a word for what can only have been hours by now. Nothing interrupts the tears streaming endlessly down his saturated face as his stomach sinks with every mile that distances him from Lima; from Blaine; from his only chance at happiness.

Burt tries to ease the tension with music but Kurt can't stand to listen to the upbeat melodies blaring from the radio and before the first song can come to a finish, he switches it off moodily, without even a second glance to his father. It isn't him he's mad at, far from it, he just has so many emotions swirling and building inside his head and in his heart that he has no idea how to deal with them, how he's supposed to move on from this and make a new life. He can't just start again.

"Just a few more miles and we'll call it a day. Okay, Bud?" Burt says, it's the first words he's uttered since they packed up as much as they could in the time they allowed themselves and took off. Kurt doesn't respond, instead closing his swollen eyes as more tears spill. They have been driving all night, trying to get as far away as possible. Kurt of course knows that it's for his own safety. He knows that they couldn't stay, too many people saw, there’s too much evidence of his existence. Even if nothing happened immediately, the possibility would have always hung over their heads if they had stayed.

The last time they had to relocate had been nothing like this, although their reason for leaving last time hadn't been nearly as dire. Kurt can't remember ever seeing his father look the way he looks now, it almost frightens him. The tendons in his neck are tense and rigid, and, as the silence of the car hangs over them both, Kurt can hear his teeth grinding with worry and determination. He has to admit, Kurt feels a little comforted by his dad's fierce protectiveness, knowing that if the worst comes to the worst, he won't let him be taken away without a fight.

The road seems endless and Kurt doesn't know how long he can take this. A part of him just wants to settle somewhere new and start over, forgetting the past. But a much more prominent part of him is demanding to go back, yelling and screaming because this can’t be it, this can't be all the time that he gets to share with Blaine, this can't be the end of his brief window of happiness already.

Despite the war raging in his mind, Kurt knows that it's all futile. No matter what he comes to, there's nothing he can do about it anyway. This is his life now, and he has to flee so he can have a life at all. If he screams about anything then it should be at the sheer injustice of the world.

* * *

**October 2013**

Blaine is jolted awake by the sound of Rachel belting out her song of the week. With a groan, he turns to his side to glare at the clock, realising with dismay that it's only 5:45am and with it being a Saturday, Blaine is twice as grouchy.

"Rachel!" he hollers, voice croaky with sleep, "what happened to our no singing before 6am rule?"

Resigning himself to the fact that he's now awake, Blaine forces himself out of bed. He loves Rachel dearly but living with her can be a nightmare sometimes. Her singing continues as she showers and Blaine decides to give her another five minutes before forcing her out. He’s tired of cold showers in the morning, especially now that the weather has started to turn cold again.

Rachel huffs as she exits the bathroom in a towel and Blaine averts his eyes, making a beeline for the shower.

It had been a challenge, adjusting to New York. After spending his entire life living with his parents in financial comfort, Blaine is suddenly thrust into the real world of paying bills and managing money. It's not easy, having to choose between warmth and food some weeks, but he and Rachel make it work. Blaine has a part time job as a shop assistant at an electronics store and they both receive a little help from their parents as well as grants from NYADA. It's tough but they manage. When they can't afford the heating bills, he and Rachel bundle under every blanket and sweater they own, snuggling on the sofa and simply enjoying the fact that they're in one of the greatest cities in the world, studying at NYADA and pursuing their dreams together.

Living with Rachel had been another challenge altogether. His brother had moved out when he was still just a kid so Blaine has never had to fight anyone for the bathroom before. And really, who sings at 5:45 in the morning? He's told her time and time again to keep it down while he's still asleep but Rachel just insists that she needs all the practise she can get. He knows it's just the stress of living with someone and being with them every day, but Blaine finds her more and more infuriating with each passing day. Still, he does love her, she's his closest friend and they're in this together. All past tensions between them are long forgotten and, at the end of the day, they’ll always look out for each other. 

Which is why Blaine knows, from Rachel's singing at such an ungodly hour, that something is wrong.

Once he's showered and dressed, Blaine decides to approach the subject as he takes a seat at the breakfast table and pours himself a bowl of cereal. In the end, however, he doesn't even need to ask as Rachel vents without needing a prompt.

"I don't know if I can take her anymore," she growls, glaring at her toast. Blaine slides the pot of jam towards her, knowing full well whom she's referring to; Cassie July, the dance instructor at NYADA. They share dance class together so Blaine knows exactly how Rachel gets treated.

"She's just trying to push you to be your best," Blaine justifies, unable to fathom why she picks on Rachel in particular. Rachel isn't the strongest dancer but she's by no means the worst in the class.

"It's just so demoralizing, everything I do she picks at. I can't get anything right!" Blaine's lucky enough to have fallen under the radar but he still feels Rachel's frustration. She's amazing and Blaine knows it and he wants everyone else to appreciate her talent as well but it's difficult for any of the other students to take her seriously when she's constantly being torn down.

With a sigh, Blaine realises there isn’t a lot he can do to fix the problem. There is, however, a lot he can do to at least make Rachel feel a little better.

"Why don't we go get some coffee? There's this place a couple of blocks away that might be good," he suggests in an attempt to cheer her up.

* * *

**August 2012**

Kurt has had enough.

He's had enough of tacky motel wallpaper, creaky beds that keep him up at night and dirty sheets that are stained with god knows what. He's sick of his father's snoring in the bed beside his, keeping him awake and alone with his thoughts for hours on end with no way out of his own head. He's sick of the constant moving, the drone of the car engine and his father's awkward silences his only company as he watches mile upon mile of monotonous scenery pass by him every day.

Each day is a different town, a different route, a different name. Burt says it's for extra precaution and Kurt knows he isn't wrong but it doesn't make him any less tired of it all.

"I want to go back," he says suddenly on a bright Tuesday afternoon. The weather has barely changed since they left. Day after the day it's always the same and that alone is enough to drive Kurt crazy.

"To Alabama?" Burt asks in confusion, eyes staying focused on the road ahead, despite them having no real destination.

"No," Kurt says with a sigh, "I want to go home."

"Kurt - "

"I can't do this anymore, dad. _Please!_ Please can we go back?" Kurt begs.

"Kurt, you know we can't!" Burt says, remaining firm, knuckles turning white as his hand grip the steering wheel tightly.

"Dad, I can't do this anymore!" Kurt all but screams. "What's the point in running for my life if this is the sort of life I have to live from now on?"

"It won't be like this forever, we just have to give it a little time before we settle - "

"I don't want to settle anywhere else! Nowhere else will be good enough!" Kurt cries. "Please dad! Even just for one day...please!"

"Do you think this is a game?" Burt retorts, becoming frustrated at Kurt's demands. "Do you actually know what will happen if they find you?"

"Of course I do - "

"Look. I know this is hard," Burt says, "God knows I do, I've had to leave behind a helluva lot ever since I met your mother and it aint easy, I get it."

"No you don't!" Kurt bites back bitterly. "You're not like me and mom, this isn't something that's with you _constantly_. You don't have to hide from everyone you meet. You don't have to live with the fact that you're never going to get to have a normal life!" Kurt's speech has grown to a shout now and after months of prolonged silence, the sound is deafening. After months spent trapped within the aluminium walls of his dad's car, Kurt has finally snapped.  

"You don't think I spend every moment of my life worrying about you? You don't think I spend every minute of every day wishing you could have been born _normal_?"

The words pierce through Kurt's heart sharper than any blade and for a moment he feels like he has been winded. Hearing these words come from his father's mouth is something Kurt never thought was possible. It's clear Burt regrets the words the second they leave his mouth but there's no way of taking them back now. The words linger between them in the car like a dense fog until Kurt finally breaks the silence once more.

"It's better than spending every minute of every day wishing you hadn't been born at all."

Silence reigns for the next several hours until Burt finally pulls up into yet another roadside motel, looking just as cheap and dirty as the last hundred they'd stayed in. Kurt stays behind in the car while Burt goes to check them in and not a single word is exchanged between the two of them.

After several minutes, a tap on the window and a gesture from his dad standing outside prompts Kurt to grab his bag moodily and make his way to their room.

Just as he expects, the room is dusty and stained and altogether unpleasant. Tossing his bag on the floor, Kurt collapses on the bed, ready to sleep for the next 12 hours before they're back on the road for who knows how long.

However, his plans of sleeping are short-lived as Kurt feels the foot of his bed dip and hears his father clear his throat.

"I'm sorry," he says, voice uneven and unsure, probably wondering how on earth they let it get this bad between them, wondering when they stopped talking and when Burt stopped being the solid rock that Kurt could always count on. Kurt is thinking all of the same things. "What I said earlier in the car..."

"It's fine," Kurt whispers back, staring blankly at the wall and refusing to meet his father's eyes. "I'm sorry too...I didn't mean it. Not really."

"It's okay if you did, I don't blame you. You've been dealt a shitty hand in life. And you're right, I can't even begin to understand. But if you did mean it then, please Kurt, talk to me because I can't stand to think that you feel that way, that you could wish something like...that," Burt's voice is breaking and Kurt finally lifts himself up from the bed, rubbing at his eyes and begging the tears not to fall.

"I don't feel that way, dad," Kurt tells him. "At least not all the time. I've had good days, I've had a lot of good days in fact, especially since..." Kurt isn't sure if he should bring Blaine up at a time like this but the look on his dad's face tells him it's fine.

"Since you met Blaine?" Burt supplies when Kurt doesn't. He nods, a small, sad smile playing on his lips as he remembers how bright his life became after meeting Blaine.

"I do wish that I'd been born normal though," Kurt says, remembering his father's words from earlier. Burt flinches at the mention and Kurt hurries to assure him it's okay. "There's nothing wrong with wishing that, dad. I'd be happy if I were. We wouldn't be here...we would just be a regular family."

"It's not you I want to change, it's the whole damn world," Burt says firmly.

"We can't change the whole world," Kurt answers with a small laugh. "We just have to find a way to survive."

"I am so proud of you."

"Dad..."

"No, I am. You're my pride and joy, kid. And I hate that this has to be your life, really I do. I want to make things better like a dad should but I can't. I'm trying my best here to get you somewhere safe, to throw them off our trail so we can find somewhere and stay there. If they found you, if you're ever taken away from me I...I don't know what I'd do."

"It won't happen," Kurt assures, shuffling over to where his dad sits and wrapping his arms around him. It's no use trying to stop the tears by now as they're already rolling down Kurt's cheeks. "I promise."

* * *

**October 2013**

"I don't know," Rachel answers as Blaine finishes his breakfast. "I don't really feel like leaving the house today," she sulks.

"Are you sure?" Blaine asks, a little crestfallen. "I have a coupon for 40% off!" he tempts but Rachel just shakes her head before her eyes narrow on Blaine.

"Where did you get that?" she asks curiously. Living on their own and with limited income has taught the two of them plenty of budgeting skills and Rachel has a whole stack of coupons that she collects for their weekly grocery shopping. It's possible she has become slightly obsessed but if it saves them money then Blaine isn't complaining.

"I get deals emailed to me every week," Blaine replies with a shrug as he searches for his coat. He’d been getting them ever since he applied to NYADA.

“That’s hardly fair, I don’t get anything!” Rachel whines petulantly before she

 rises from the breakfast table and collapses unceremoniously on the sofa, wrapping her gown tightly around herself, ready to sulk the day away.

"Bring me back a peppermint tea please?" She asks with a pout to which Blaine can only oblige.

* * *

**September 2012**

New York is like nothing Kurt imagined it to be. It's like nothing he's ever experienced before.

Kurt is used to seclusion and hiding and small towns that nobody has ever heard of before.

New York is busy and bustling and energetic and so alien to him that Kurt feels so incredibly out of his depth here.

But it's where he wants to be. They could have gone anywhere but Kurt begged his dad to take them here, to start anew here. He's sick of small towns, at least here Kurt can feel like he has a chance at a successful life, not everything feels quite so hopeless in New York.

And his dad had agreed that it's not such a bad idea to come here. The city is so impossibly big that Kurt can easily go unnoticed, nobody has to know his name, most people barely even look at him as they pass him by hurriedly.

Reluctantly, Burt eventually gives Kurt permission to explore the city on his own. They have a lot of setting up to do and Burt is in the process of furnishing their new apartment so it doesn't look quite so bleak, as well as looking for a job, but in the meantime Kurt has nothing to occupy himself with.

People hurry past him, people stroll leisurely behind him, people bump into him and a pair of tourists even ask him for directions. Kurt has never felt so a part of anything before. Just walking down the street, Kurt can trick himself into believing he's normal.

The city has a lot to offer. A lot that, unfortunately, Kurt knows he is forbidden from. Though that doesn't mean he can't enjoy things from afar.

The New York Acadamy for Dramatic Arts is having an open day and Kurt decides to check it out. He has no plans of attending but he just wants a chance to soak up some New York culture. The University is small but Kurt finds the place spectacular. He can easily picture himself as a student here, perhaps in a different life where he might be normal. Maybe he and Blaine can attend together, practise for their midterms together in the spacious dance studio and have quick makeout sessions between classes.

Kurt smiles as he's lead from room to room. He knows Blaine would love it here. It's the perfect place for him. The idea swells and grows in his head, snowballing until Kurt can't bear a future where Blaine goes anywhere other than this college.

"Would you like to sign up to our newsletter?" A student with a clipboard asks him as Kurt is on his way out, his heart breaking with all the what-ifs. The girl startles him as she holds out the clipboard, a list of emails compiled neatly on the paper clipped to it. "We'll send you updates on the school, key dates for application deadlines and information on all NYADA has to offer its students."

Kurt is about to politely decline when the idea strikes him so suddenly that he is sure the girl would be able to hear his heart beating if it wasn't for all the other people bustling around them.

"Sure," he responds, taking the pen she offers before writing neatly on the paper;

_BD-Anderson@gmail.com_

The moment Kurt gets back to the apartment he wonders if he's made a huge mistake, but the more he thinks about it, the more sure he is of his plan. There's no way this can be traced back to him. Even if Blaine is being watched right now, he's a teenage boy about to apply for college, there's nothing unusual about him receiving emails from colleges. And maybe, if lady fate is smiling upon him, Blaine might feel persuaded to come to the City. Maybe Kurt can somehow lure him here. It's actually possible that things might be okay again, Kurt thinks with giddy excitement, smiling to himself as the plan starts to form in his mind.

He signs Blaine up with several other universities in the city. Although he'd love for Blaine to go to NYADA, his new plan is simply to get him here. Bring Blaine to the city and then he can work it out from there.

After getting Blaine’s name on the mailing list of most of the surrounding colleges, Kurt realises that there’s no way to tell if his plan is working; if Blaine has New York etched into the background of his mind, acting as a subliminal prompt to push him in the right direction.

It takes just one week of exploring for Kurt to grow restless. The city is massive and bustling and full of people but none of those people are Blaine so what's the point?

Kurt knows he should be focusing on starting his life anew, he knows he can't spend the rest of his life pining over what was but it just seems to him so unfair that Blaine is so out of reach. He's one phone call away but one phone call leads to multiple phone calls and he understands that he's forbidden from making any contact with Lima.

Instead of fretting, Kurt does the only thing he knows how to do, he keeps trying. Deciding that colleges aren't enough, Kurt needs something more to persuade Blaine's sub-conscience to come to New York, so he sweetens the deal. The idea comes to him as he's passing Joanne's, a small, yet busy coffee shop, with a sign in the window.

_Sign up to our mailing list and receive weekly deals including discounts, free snacks and more!_

_Apply within_

The offer is all too tempting and Blaine's name is quick to be added.

After that, Kurt starts frequenting Joanne’s regularly. The smell of caffeine swirling in the air and the steady and calming bustle of customers and spoons ringing against cups reminds him of home. His first date with Blaine had been at the Lima Bean in Ohio and Kurt is sure he'll never be able to shake the sense of nostalgia whenever he gets coffee.

Plus, Joanne's serves one of the best Mochas Kurt has ever tasted.

It’s surprising how many companies are eager to take your details nowadays, and Kurt finds places all over town that Blaine might enjoy. He signs Blaine up for so many things that he’s sure he must have some clue that, for whatever reason, someone wants him in New York. Music stores, boutiques, even comic book stores now regularly send Blaine the latest deals.

Autumn falls upon the city swiftly and Kurt begins to grow restless with inaction. He's done all he can to urge Blaine towards New York, whether they find each other again is out of Kurt's control and besides, he won't even know if his plan has worked until – and if – it does. He knows he can't linger, but there isn't much else he can do. He's out of high school, unemployed, friendless...The city is amazing but there's only so much of it he can enjoy by himself before growing weary.

Just like when Kurt was young, his dad is yet again his only companion. The tension that had built in the weeks after leaving Lima has dissipated and Kurt is grateful to have their old dynamic back, though this doesn't change the fact that he is undeniably lonely and bored out of his mind and since Burt has managed to find a job at a local garage, the silent afternoons around their apartment grow ever more suffocating.

"I want to get a job," Kurt says, approaching the subject one morning in early November.

Burt barely glances at Kurt from his newspaper as he responds, "So go get one."

Well, that surprises him.

Kurt is left speechless for several seconds before finally finding his voice, though it hardly does him much good.

"Wh...wait, what?"

"You don't think I expect you to sit around on your ass for the rest of your life do ya? Plus, the money wouldn't go amiss," he says, glancing around their barely furnished home. Kurt has to agree with that one, he's been dying to decorate the place properly but their funds have been frighteningly low lately.

"Okay..." Kurt says uncertainly, "So I'll just go...get a job then...?" He expected to have to fight for this so being granted permission so easily has left him somewhat stunned

Burt senses his uncertainty, folding his newspaper and giving Kurt his full attention. "In all seriousness though, be careful,"

"I know,” Kurt replies, wanting to avoid another speech from his father.

"I'm serious."

"Dad, I know. I've learned my lesson from last time," Kurt says, even if it hadn't meant leaving Blaine, the fear of standing up on stage with all those people staring at him like that is enough to make Kurt take every precaution possible.

But he can't waste his life hiding away. He might not be able to enjoy the same things as everyone else but he wants his life to have meaning of some sort. Even if it's just by helping his dad pay the bills.

All he has to do now is find a job though the task proves easier than he set out for it to be when, as he's grabbing a quick pick-me-up from Joanne's, he sees yet another notice in the window. This time it's a help wanted sign.

* * *

**October 2013**

The air is brisk and chilly and Blaine pulls his scarf tighter around his neck. Autumn is certainly upon them and Blaine isn't sure he's looking forward to the city growing increasingly colder, not when they're struggling to pay the heating bills already.

He tries not to think about it, deciding to live in the moment instead of worrying about the future. He and Rachel are doing all they can to save money, which is why he's walking in the cold to a coffee shop he's never even heard of before simply because he has a coupon.

He spots the place he’s looking for, hidden discretely among the surrounding buildings. At least it looks warm inside.

A bell above the door rings optimistically as Blaine steps inside, rubbing his chilled hands together to try and generate some warmth. He can't quite put his finger on it but the air in New York is different to that at home. Here, when it's cold, you can feel it the very core of your body.

The coffee shop isn't busy, but it isn't empty either. There's a content buzz of voices giving the place an ambience that Blaine has always found calming.

 The barista is just finishing up an order for the person before him as Blaine decides what he wants, scanning the board above the counter.

"Hi, can I take your..." a friendly voice that Blaine recognises right down to his core greets before trailing off. His eyes shoot to the man standing before him, heart stopping as he takes in the man looking equally as stunned as he feels. It’s the same face that he has been having trouble remembering lately, as much as it pains him to admit. The face that holds a secret smile that Blaine had learned how to unlock, the same eyes that had gazed lovingly into his own, and the same lips that had gently caressed his skin in the private silence of night. He’s standing impossibly before him and Blaine expects him to vanish in an instant, forcing him to feel that same loss all over again just when he thought he had started to heal.

"Kurt."


	19. Chapter 19

Time seems to go in slow motion yet at the same time everything happens at once. Kurt is staring at him with a look of utter disbelief, the corners of his mouth tweaked up in an effortless but paralysing grin. Then, before Blaine even remembers how to move a single muscle in his body, Kurt has hung up his apron and his flinging himself into Blaine's arms. It's not until he can touch Kurt, can feel the weight of the other boy in his arms, real and so very there that Blaine lets himself believe that maybe, just maybe, this isn't a dream; this is really happening to him. He's crying before he realises it, Kurt's arms still wrapped tightly around his neck and Blaine's arms have slid around Kurt's waist, remembering the exact way he always felt whenever they would hold each other, as if they'd never been apart at all.

There are no words spoken between them as they reacquaint themselves with one another, Blaine breathes in Kurt's scent, it's different than he remembers but the undertones of Kurt are still there, masculine but with a sweetness that Blaine is sure only he could pull off. He can feel Kurt's breath against his ear, jagged and uneven as Kurt is still processing everything with as much difficulty as Blaine. It's warm and reminds Blaine of nights spent whispering in each other's ears, of secrets held between just the two of them. The intimacy of it sends Blaine back and he suddenly feels as though no time has passed at all, that they were never cruelly ripped away from each other, lost in the world until this very moment when they finally find their way back.

Blaine has never really believed in soulmates, but this very moment is enough to change his mind.

"You're real," is all Blaine can manage to say after probably ten minutes of them both simply standing there being in the other's presence. People are staring but that's the least of Blaine's concerns currently.

"Yeah," Kurt replies with a wet laugh, as Blaine realises that he's crying too. The tears glisten on Kurt's eyelids before they stream down his face and Kurt reluctantly pulls back to wipe at his damp cheeks.

"Here," Blaine says, reaching into his pocket and offering him a handkerchief. Kurt half laughs, half sobs as he accepts the handkerchief gratefully, dabbing delicately at his face. Kurt takes a few more minutes to compose himself, informing the other barista that he's taking his break before making two cups of coffee and leading Blaine to an empty table in the corner of the shop.

Nothing is said for several minutes, the sound of each of them breathing the only thing that occupies the space between their shaky hands, each gripping a cup of coffee as though it holds the answers to everything that is yet unsaid.

"I don't even know where to begin..." Blaine starts, eyes never leaving Kurt's face, afraid that if he looks away then he'll disappear again. "I missed you." It seems so feeble. Blaine didn't just miss Kurt, he was destroyed without him, life just seemed to lose meaning when he left. Sure, Blaine had managed to pick up the pieces since and do something with himself but since Kurt left, he's just felt like he's been floating, waiting for life to be worthwhile again.

"I missed you too," Kurt says and from the look on his face, he feels the same way. Kurt is looking at him with such awe and longing. Blaine wants to reach out and grip his hand within his own but he somehow doesn't feel like they're at that stage anymore. They're not boyfriends anymore, they're not anything really. The word strangers seems so harsh but can they still call themselves friends? It's been a year and a half since they last saw each other.

"H-how long have you been in New York?" Blaine chooses to ask out of the thousands of questions rushing through his conscience.

"A little over a year," Kurt answers, surprising Blaine. "It's safe here."

Blaine's eyes flicker up to the top of Kurt's head, he's wearing a baseball cap with the coffee shop's logo in the centre. Of course he's still hiding, Blaine realises with a sinking in his stomach. "I'm okay," Kurt says, noticing Blaine dejection, "they haven't found me."

"I don't know what I would have done if they did find you," Blaine answers miserably to which Kurt answers with a look of confusion.

"You wouldn't have even known," he says matter of factly, no trace of fear in his voice at the prospect of being found and sold to some sick monster.

"I went looking for you. Do you remember Sebastian?" Kurt's eyes grow cold at the mere mention of the name and Blaine immediately feels the guilt settle around him but he knows he has to tell Kurt what happened. It's only fair.

"How could I forget?"

"Well....he went to an auction with his uncle as a favour, to see if you were there and - "

"A favour?" Kurt cuts him off with a scoff of disbelief, "forgive me if I'm wrong but Sebastian never exactly struck me as the generous type."

"He...he wanted me to have sex with him in return," Blaine admits, guessing that there's no use keeping secrets now. He's just so happy to have Kurt back, he wants to be honest about everything that happened in the time Kurt was gone but the moment he says the words, Kurt recoils as though someone had physically struck him, mouth hanging open in shock. "I didn't!" Blaine is quick to assure, almost knocking his coffee over in a rush to reach out for Kurt's hand, pulling back at the last minute as he decides against it. "I swear I didn't, Kurt. He kissed me but that's all. I pushed him away and made him leave straight after."

Kurt doesn't reply, shoulders sagging with apparent relief but other than that he remains silent. "Are you mad?" Blaine asks hesitantly after the silence becomes too much.

Shaking his head, Kurt lets out a shaky sigh.

"No, at least, I'm not mad at you."

Blaine smiles. "Good," he says, fingers twitching with the undeniable desire to just reach out and touch.

"Have you dated anyone since...or, I mean, are you dating anyone? I won't be upset, I promise, I want you to be ha- " 

"No," Blaine replies simply, putting Kurt at ease immediately before reluctantly asking "Are you?"

"No."

The meaning behind these two revelations hangs between them unsaid. They're both single and they've both found each other but now is not the time to work any of that out, Blaine is sure of that. Kurt was more than just his boyfriend, he was his best friend, too, and he's ecstatic to be able to be near him again. The ugly reality that he would have to spend the rest of his life trying to recall his face, his name on the tip of tongue, had been haunting him ever since Kurt left but now, here they both are, a world of possibilities before them. Blaine doesn't want to waste a minute of it but at the same time, the realisation that they now have forever to work things out is a welcome comfort. Blaine knows for certain that he's never going to let Kurt go. No matter what happens, Blaine will follow. As long as Kurt wants him around, he'll be there because losing Kurt all over again will probably break him beyond repair.

"I'm really glad you're here," Kurt says, both hands hugging his mug defensively. "I wasn't sure if...I didn't think it would actually work." His words strike Blaine with confusion.

"Wait...what?"

Kurt smiles fondly before diving into his own story. The constant string of cheap motels, the endless car journeys, town after town after town until they finally settled in New York, deciding that a busy city might be a safe change for them. He explains how he formed his plan, the details of the day he went to NYADA and how everything later began to fall into place. Blaine listens with awe, heart pounding as he remembers all those times he would check his inbox and that what he thought was junkmail were actually cryptic message from Kurt, leading Blaine to him.  After having everything explained, Blaine is honestly a little surprised that Kurt's plan worked just as Kurt is. It all seems so precarious, had Blaine decided against New York, had he not gotten accepted, had he chosen to accept his parents offer to help him out with money, thus meaning he wouldn't have to search out obscure coffee shops just because he came across a coupon, would he and Kurt have ever found each other again?

* * *

Blaine returns back to the loft feeling weightless. He and Kurt had exchanged numbers and had promised each other to meet up again soon and honestly, he still feels like he's dreaming.

"Where's my tea?" Rachel asks, crestfallen when Blaine realises he's empty handed.

"Crap..." he mumbles, eyes wide. “Uh, it was...closed." Rachel narrows her eyes curiously.

"You were gone for an hour and a half," she points out. Blaine's mouth hangs open as he wishes for a better excuse to magically make itself known.

It's not that he doesn't want Rachel to know he found Kurt again, it's that he knows she will want to meet him and Blaine isn't quite sure how to break it to Kurt that he's living with Rachel. He isn't sure how Kurt will take it, considering it was Rachel who showcased him on stage that day. Blaine has no idea what Kurt has been through this last year, he can't know whether he's found it in himself to forgive Rachel or not and until he's managed to talk to Kurt, he's decided to keep things between just the two of them for the time being. After Kurt left, Blaine didn't have much of a choice in forgiving everyone unless he wanted to spend his senior year isolated and alone, without a single person in the universe to call his friend. It might have been selfish, he just wanted somebody to talk to at school, someone to help him feel less alone so he accepted the glee club's apologies and they made amends. Kurt hasn't had that chance, Blaine isn't sure if he would ever even want to.

"Blaine? You're hiding something," Rachel presses, her voice light and teasing. "Did you meet someone?"

"N...Yeah," Blaine eventually says, looking down at his feet and hoping his obvious lie will just come across as bashfulness. "I might have."

Rachel squeals in delight as she rushes over to Blaine only to pull him back on the sofa and throw her moping-blanket over the both of them. Clearly the reason why she had initially been upset that morning has been forgotten. "Tell me everything!"

"There's really nothing to tell..." he mumbles, attempting to rise from the sofa but Rachel drags him back down again.

"Uh-uh, no way, you're gonna tell me everything, Mister!" she demands.

Blaine panics, wondering how he managed to dig himself in such a deep hole so quickly.

"I just had coffee with someone! That's it, honest!" technically it isn't a lie. Rachel huffs but eventually lets Blaine go.

"I expect full details after the second date!" she declares as Blaine goes to make her some tea in the kitchen. Thankfully, she doesn't bring it up again.

* * *

Blaine wakes on Monday morning itching to see Kurt again. He makes a detour on his way to NYADA - telling Rachel he'd decided to head in early - so he can stop by Joanne's. The coffee shop is busy but the moment his eyes settle on Kurt once again, assuring him that Saturday wasn't in fact a dream, Blaine feels his heart lighten. This is real.

"Hey," he greets as he reaches the till and Kurt's smiling face. He doesn't even need to say anything because Kurt is already writing his order on the cup and handing it to one of the other baristas.

"I finish at 2," Kurt says with a hint of hopefulness in his voice. "If you...I mean..."

"I'll meet you here," Blaine assures, heart clenching at the thought that Kurt would even think it a possibility that Blaine wouldn't want to meet him.

Predictably, Blaine spends the day trying not to stare at the clock, begging it to go faster and bring him closer to Kurt until eventually he's back yet again at the now familiar coffee shop just as Kurt is hanging up his apron for the day. He waits patiently, glad to be out of the cold for a brief moment as Kurt says goodbye to his co-workers. Finally free, he bounces up to Blaine and the two exit the shop. Kurt seems to feel the cold instantly, shivering with his whole body as the chill hits him so, without thinking, Blaine slips his hand into Kurt's, not realising exactly what he's done until afterwards. It's too late to pull it back though and Kurt says nothing about the gesture, instead squeezing Blaine's hand gently as they walk.

"So where are we headed?" Blaine asks, feeling suddenly much warmer with Kurt's hand nestled in his.

"Wherever we want."

 


	20. Epilogue

"I might have to leave again."

"I'll come with you."

"You can't just drop everything."

" _I'll come with you._ I can't go through that again. Whatever happens from here on out, I'll be there. No matter what."

It had taken some time for Kurt and Blaine to finally get back some of what had faded since they had been separated.

"I love you." Kurt whispers the words like they're a secret. Cherishes them as though they were diamonds.

Ever since an emotional reunion with Burt, the two lie tangled together on Kurt's sofa more often than not in the apartment he has been sharing with his dad since he moved to New York. Kurt's ears happily twitch occasionally, accompanied by a flick of his tail, the fur tickling Blaine's leg. The soft purr rumbling from deep in his throat makes Blaine feel finally as though he's found his home again and he could quite happily fall asleep nestled against Kurt's chest.

"Do you think we have a future? Together?" Kurt asks, voice laced with sorrow. Blaine finds that he's avoiding looking him directly in the eye, but instead staring at the floor below.

"What makes you say that?" Blaine replies softly, inquisitively, chin resting gently on Kurt's chest seemingly without a care in the world.  "Do you not think we do?"

"Honestly? I never used to. When we were at school, I always felt like our time together had an expiration date; that one day you'd leave and I'd be stuck forever in Ohio." Blaine smiles at the irony a little. "But now, I don't feel so stuck anymore. I sort of feel like we're exactly where we're supposed to be, except..."

"Except?" Blaine prompts when Kurt suddenly goes silent.

"I've been thinking of moving out."

Blaine raises an eyebrow. "It will take a lot to convince my dad to let me, I know he won't like it but...someday. Someday soon, maybe? If you...if you wanted to. I can't live with my dad forever."

"Of course! I'd have to speak to Rachel first though. I don't want to just leave her without a roommate. We're struggling with the rent enough as it is."

"Right. Rachel," Kurt mutters with barely disguised disdain.

"She made a mistake, Kurt. She regrets it more than anything and she really wants to be in your life again, you know?"

"I know," Kurt says, still avoiding eye contact. "It's just... _Rachel_." Blaine laughs, finding that Kurt is unable to hold back a smile when he does so.

"She can be a handful. Try living with her!"

"I honestly don't know how you've survived it."

"You know," Blaine suggests, the idea coming to him suddenly. "You could try moving in with us?" Kurt goes quiet, and Blaine worries if maybe he's said the wrong thing. It's difficult, even after a month of being back with Kurt, to tell how he really feels about Rachel. He knows she's technically responsible for Kurt leaving but Blaine knows Kurt, he may be stubborn at times but he's not hateful. Hopefully it will just take time. Blaine doesn't want his life to be split between his roommate and his boyfriend. "It's just...I don't make a lot of money. Finding a place together could be tricky. It's just a possibility. Don't think you have to-"

"I'll think about it," Kurt finally says, breaking his silence. Blaine responds with a kiss, allowing the relief to flood his veins.

* * *

Kurt has still refused to say a single word to Rachel, so when he agrees to move in with them, after much debate with his father, to say Blaine is surprised is certainly an understatement. Rachel is unsure at first. She wants Kurt to move in with them, of course, but she had hoped they'd at least be on speaking terms before it happened. Ever since Blaine finally plucked up the courage to tell her about Kurt, she had been begging him to bring him over so they could reunite but every time he brought the subject up, Kurt had refused. They've been in the same room as each other twice since Blaine found him again and neither times had he uttered a word.

The day Kurt is to finally move, Rachel is a nervous wreck, cleaning and re-cleaning the loft three times before she's finally satisfied.

"You're acting like the Queen of England is coming to stay!" Blaine jokes, earning him a glare.

"I just want him to talk to me again," she says with a miserable sigh. "I missed him too, you know! And I know it's all my fault but I just...I-"

"Hey," Blaine says, placing the plate he had been washing on the rack and going over to take Rachel in both arms to calm her down. "If he still harboured any resentment, he wouldn't have agreed to move in at all. He's still hurt, and a little traumatized by everything, he probably just doesn't know how to act around you," Blaine tells her as earnestly as possible, "Just don't try so hard, okay? Let him come to you when he feels ready."

Blaine can only imagine how huge a step this is for Kurt. His whole life, the place he called home was the only place where he could ever really be himself unguarded, where he could let his true self shine through the layers he's always forced to wear. And up until now, that place has only ever been inhabited by family. Rachel has only ever seen Kurt's unique features once, and under circumstances that Blaine never hopes to recreate. He knows it will take a long time before Kurt is really comfortable here with them, but he's certain it will happen over time.

A knock at the door brings them suddenly apart as Blaine hurries to answer it, wondering why he now feels nervous when he'd been fine all morning. Kurt stands at the door, fidgeting slightly, and Blaine is eager to usher him inside, making him feel as welcome as possible before planting a tender kiss against his ready lips. The smile that radiates from his is enough to calm Blaine's nerves as Kurt takes a look around the room, hoisting his bag a little more comfortably on his shoulder.

"Kurt..." Rachel's voice is small and apologetic, as though she feels guilty for merely speaking. Kurt's attention is immediately redirected to her. To Blaine's and very much Rachel's surprise, he smiles at her gently, but Blaine knows that under his hat his ears are pressed down against his head. The fact is, he's trying, and that means the world to Blaine.

She reaches forward with outstretched arms and for a second, Blaine's heart stops, knowing how Kurt is with other people and physical contact. But, astonishingly, Kurt drops his shoulder bag to the floor and steps forward to wrap his arms around her. "I'm so sorry," she murmurs against his shoulders. Kurt still remains silent, but his feelings are clear. He's ready to move on, to move forward. They all are.

* * *

Kurt's secret remains just that. He doesn't change the world, fix all that's wrong with humankind. He knows his story is not that kind but he hopes to god that someone else's is someday. His biggest achievement, in his opinion, is his own happiness, with Blaine, with the life he creates for himself in New York, far away from all the bad things that happen in the world. He knows his mother would be ecstatic for him. He's a hybrid and he's never proud of that fact but, despite the odds being stacked against him, he makes it.

 


End file.
